


Deicide

by Evilkitten3



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Attempted Murder, Brother-Sister Relationships, Daddy Issues, Developing Friendships, Emotional Manipulation, Family Drama, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Loss of Limbs, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, One-Sided Relationship, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Stalking, Suicidal Thoughts, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilkitten3/pseuds/Evilkitten3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three months ago, Orihara Izaya disappeared, and Ikebukuro erupted with chaos. With gang wars everywhere, Heiwajima Shizuo is determined to hunt down his enemy, make him stop the violence, and then kick his ass. However, things take a turn for the odd, and suddenly Shizuo, Shinra, Celty, Kadota, and Izaya's bitchy secretary have to team up to save Ikebukuro (and maybe Izaya too).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remnants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Naturesshadows](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Naturesshadows).



> So, as promised, the winner of my Halloween contest, Naturesshadows, gets a one-shot. FYI: I do take requests, but contest winners are the submissions I'll definitely do. Eventually. Anyhow, the prompt I received was this (edited very slightly):  
> Fandom: Durarara!!
> 
> Characters: Izaya, Shizuo, Shinra, Celty, Kadota, and Namie.
> 
> Genre: Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Pairings can either be: Shizuo/Izaya or Izaya/Namie + Shinra/Celty
> 
> General Idea:  
> Izaya has gone missing, after 3 months, Ikebukuro is in chaos… Shinra, Shizuo, Celty and Kadota (who bumped into them on the way) decided to check out the informant's penthouse with the intention on fixing the fights in Ikebukuro. It's then that they find Namie looking after the horrible state the informant's in. Pale, sick, and fighting against something no one can see. What will they do to fix the only one who can save their city?  
> As this particular prompt is a bit… extravagant, this may evolve into something more than a one-shot. For future reference, if you win one of my contests, I will write a one-shot for you. However, as I already have two ongoing stories, four stories that need to be rewritten, and a story with a status I am currently unsure about (plus a billion other ideas floating around in my skull), I would like to make clear that submissions for contest winners should be set up as one-shots. If you believe that your story will be longer, let me know. I will probably still write it, but it will take longer. That said, enjoy.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Descriptions of psychological torture

Heiwajima Shizuo had little to no patience, especially when it came to Orihara Izaya, his lifelong nemesis (ok, only since high school). If there was one thing he could count on, it was that that one particular flea in his life was not going to fuck off unless it got squashed. Problems like this, Shizuo had decided, were best taken before they became bigger problems. Izaya, however, seemed determined to be the biggest problem possible. Despite numerous warnings, he continued to show up as often as possible, either to cause trouble or to piss Shizuo off with the mere act of breathing. There were times when Izaya stopped showing up, occasionally for a few weeks at a time, but he was always back and stirring up chaos soon enough. Of course, even when he was gone, he sent gangs after Shizuo.

However, Izaya's longest absence had been seven weeks, and it had been because he'd had a broken arm (à la pissed off ex-bartender). This time, however, Shizuo had not seen hide or hair of Izaya for nearly three months. There hadn't even been any gangs sent after him. A few weeks of peace was one thing, but three whole months was just suspicious. Weirder still, gang activity was increasing – but few of the gangs had attacked or even gone near him, and when he'd questioned one of the foolish gangs that _had_ , the guy had never even heard of Izaya. Even the other members of the Dollars were confused.

MONTA: Has anyone else seen Orihara Izaya?

Setton: No, I haven't. It's odd – he usually would've shown up by now.

Tanaka Tarō: He's been offline a lot lately as well…

Saika: Do you guys think Heiwajima-san killed him?

Bakyura: It's possible. One can only hope.

Kyo: We haven't seen him either. It's kind of odd, because he usually calls us at least once a week, but when we tried calling him, we only got his secretary, and all she said was that he couldn't come to the phone at the moment.

Mai: Gone?

Saki: Let's not get crazy. I'm sure he's fine.

Bakyura: Probably. Guy's like a cockroach or some thing (–.–||)

MONTA: Geez. What a pain. Has anybody gone to find out?

Kyo: No way. If he's dead, Shizuo-san will introduce us to Yūhei-san.

Mai: Brother.

Saki: I'd check, but I'm… busy… ^.^"

Bakyura: I'm busy too – with my girlfriend. O ß —8

Tanaka Tarō: Ew.

Since there was no way Izaya could have been killed by anyone other than Shizuo, the debt collector assumed that he was, as usual, up to no good. And, considering that Celty, Shinra, and Kadota all seemed to have agreed, he was probably right.

"Checking on Izaya?" Shinra asked as soon as he saw them.

"Murdering Izaya," Shizuo corrected. Kadota rolled his eyes.

"Karisawa said that if I didn't, she'd make me listen to a fanfic she wrote." He looked ill.

[[What was it about?]] Celty asked. Kadota shuddered.

"Izaya, Shizuo, Izaya's secretary, chopstick wars, and vaguely implied BDSM threesomes. It sounded awful. Can't see why anybody reads that crap."

"Ew." Said Shinra, hoping that Shizuo hadn't heard. Luckily, the bodyguard had developed the ability to tune out anything related to Erika and her depraved fantasies. Kadota was very, very jealous. He decided to change the topic in hopes of getting rid of any mental images. "So… how's everything with you guys?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

[[Fine.]]

"Hm. Me too."

There was an awkward silence.

"So, Shinra officially sucks at topic-changing."

"Shut it."

[[We're here,]]

"Oh thank god," Kyōhei massaged the bridge of his nose.

                                                            ***

When they got inside, they were unsurprised to see that they needed a card to access the elevator. Shinra had one, but it didn't matter, as their entrance had not gone unnoticed. The elevator doors slid open.

"So he _is_ up there," Shizuo growled. "I'll crush his freaking skull!"

[[It could just be his secretary,]] Celty cautioned. [[Either way, this is Izaya we're talking about. Who knows what he's got planned.]]

"I'll go first then," said Shinra cheerfully. "He won't hurt me." Celty and Shizuo looked unconvinced, but Kadota seemed to get it. They filed into the elevator, which began to move before any of them had pressed any buttons. When the elevator doors opened, Shinra, true to his word, stepped out first. When no knife came flying at him, the others figured it was probably safe.

Izaya's secretary, Yagiri Namie, was sitting on the couch. She glanced over at them, scowling when her eyes passed over Celty.

"Kishitani-sensei." She greeted. "I don't think it was necessary to bring anyone other than yourself. Especially not _those_ two," she jerked her head towards Shizuo and Celty. Shizuo tensed, but Shinra didn't look all that bothered.

"Yes, well, things happened." He said dismissively. "How is he?"

"Wait– you knew he was here?" Kadota asked, incredulous. "Why didn't you just tell us? Then I could've just gone home!" Shinra grinned.

"You didn't ask~" he chirped. His silly look disappeared, and was replaced with a more serious face. "Has he woken up recently?" Namie shrugged.

"Kind of," she replied. "He wasn't coherent, though." Shinra nodded, looking grim. "I did manage to get him to eat," Namie continued. "But nothing solid."

"I figured as much," Shinra said. "Like I said, a liquid diet is best for now."

"Ok, what's going on?" Shizuo demanded. "Where's that damn flea? I'm going to kick his ass! Is he here or not?" Namie wordlessly moved over. Izaya was lying on the couch, eyes closed. He was paler than usual, and his breathing was clearly off.

"What the– what happened?" Kadota asked. "Is he okay?" Shinra shrugged.

"We have no idea," the doctor said cheerfully. "He just turned up like this a month ago. My darling Celty found him in an alley~"

"You knew too?" Shizuo asked. It was odd for the headless woman to keep things from him.

[[Shinra asked me not to tell,]] Celty apologized. [[I would've ignored him, but it seemed bad, so I agreed.]]

Suddenly, Izaya's body jerked, and Namie, frowning, grabbed the bucket near her feet as Izaya threw up what little Namie had managed to get him to eat. His eyes were almost open, and he seemed to look at them for a couple seconds before his body decided that it wasn't done with its impromptu nap, and the informant returned to dreamland, which, for Izaya, was probably filled with little giggling ponies, tap-dancing cats in tutus, and lots and lots of knives.

"I'm assuming that's bad," Kadota, the only one in the room who _hadn't_ spent gratuitous amounts of time in a hospital, said. Namie gave him a very flat look.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. "Vomiting up the only food he's been able to keep down for longer than an hour over the entire week is _exactly_ what we want!" Celty sighed (well, she looked like she was sighing).

[[Yes, Kadota-san, that's bad,]] she said. [[He's extremely sick, and we have no clue what's wrong.]] Shinra placed his hand on Izaya's forehead, and hissed.

"His fever's risen," he murmured, mostly to himself. He turned to Namie with a very serious look on his usually silly look. "There's not much more I can do for him," the doctor warned. "You'll have to find a way to take him to a hospital soon."

"Fuck that!" Shizuo snarled. "He's not going anywhere until he tells those pet gangs of his to get the hell out of my city!" Namie didn't even bother to look his way.

"How do you plan to get him to do that when he's dying?" she asked coolly.

"Dying?" Kadota broke in. "But– Izaya's the only one who can get those gangs under control!" Namie shrugged.

"Unfortunately for you lot, he won't be getting anything done when he's unconscious," the dark-haired woman said. "You'd have better luck teaching a crab to fly."

"Dammit!" Shizuo drew back his fist, but Namie spoke before he could punch something.

"While I couldn't care less if you break this idiot's things, you're still going to have to pay for whatever you put a hole in, and if what Izaya says about your monetary status is true, that's not a situation you want to be in." she smirked. "That desk is probably worth more than your whole apartment."

"This isn't helping me not be pissed," Shizuo told her, lowering his arm. "I still want to break something." He inhaled, and tried to distract himself from the urge to crush the skulls of everybody in the room (which, unbeknownst to anyone but Namie, Izaya himself, and possibly Shinra, included Celty's). "So what exactly happened to him?"

"We don't know," Shinra repeated. "We do know that he disappeared and no one knew where he was. He only turned up a month ago, like I said." Namie nodded.

"There's no sign of physical injuries, but he was a little malnourished when he showed up. Other than a fever, he doesn't seem to have anything wrong with him at all," the woman explained. "We're guessing that, whatever the problem, it's mostly – if not entirely – psychological."

"Always knew that flea had a screw loose," Shizuo grumbled. "I'm getting out of here. Call me when he's healthy so I can kill him." Shizuo turned and began to walk off.

" _You're_ the one with a screw loose," Namie sneered, glowering at Shizuo's back. "Sane people don't try to kill people." And this is it, where Izaya should pop up, saying something like 'sane people don't lust after their little brothers', or 'sane people don't fall in love with decapitated heads'. But he doesn't. He's still lying on the couch, unconscious, and, as much as Namie dislikes her employer, she hates this awkward silence even more. Shizuo turns around.

"If you're so worried about him, why's he still here?" the blond asked. "He should be at Shinra's, or an actual hospital, right?"

"I have to agree with Shizuo," Kadota said. "It doesn't make sense that you'd keep him in here. His pride can't be more important than his life, right?"

"Both his pride and his life are directly involved in my paycheck," Namie said coolly. "However, he can't leave this room."

[[I only found him because he managed to text me and ask for help,]] Celty explained. [[He was unconscious by the time I got there, so I assumed he'd had a particularly nasty run-in with Shizuo. I just took him back here. Yagiri-san called me the next day, saying he hadn't woken up yet, so Shinra and I came over to check on him. When we tried to carry him back to our place, we were unable to do so.]]

"What's that mean?" Kadota asked, ignoring Shinra squealing about his house being 'their place'. "How difficult can it be to get an unconscious guy through a door?" Namie shrugged.

"Harder than it should have been," she said. "We can leave just fine, but we were literally unable to get him through the door. It's like there's an anti-Orihara wall in place. Izaya can't get out, and the twins can't get in."

"Mairu and Kururi? They were here?" Shizuo asked. "Did they say why?"

"Something about 'this being a good time to meet Yūhei-san'," she responded.

"Huh? Why would they think Hanejima Yūhei would be here?" Shinra asked.

"My bad," Shizuo spoke up, not looking all that sorry. "I said I'd introduce them to Kasuka if they killed their brother." Shinra sighed.

"Of course you did." The doctor muttered. He shook his head and turned to Namie. "Yagiri-san, can you think of anyone who might know something about Orihara-kun's current condition?" She hesitated.

"I've found a couple of contacts since last week," she said. "I've also managed to get in touch with Mikajima Saki and Kida Masaomi. Kida should be able to reign in his gang, and Saki learned a lot from Izaya, so she might be able to learn something. I know she's got a lot of his contacts – he's quite proud of her." Kadota frowned.

"I know a couple people," he offered. "Let's see – Izaya hung out with us, mostly, but there was that one girl… what was her name?"

"Sharaku Mikage," Shinra and Shizuo said simultaneously. Shinra grinned, deciding not to point out that there was no way Kadota was unsure of her name, as he had had an enormous crush on the girl.

"She hates my guts," he added. "She's also Mairu-chan's martial arts instructor." Kadota nodded.

"Yeah, her," he said. "She had a crush on him, didn't she?" Shizuo snorted.

"Her and every other girl in the school," the blond grumbled. "She was the only one that actually knew him."

"They go way back," Shinra said. "Izaya's known Mikage since before I ever met him. She knew exactly what he was like, but it never seemed to bother her. She liked him anyway."

"Was she insane?" Namie asked innocently.

"Ne… That isn't very nice, Namie-san," her eyes widened, and she glanced down at the man on the couch. His eyes were open, and, while he looked exhausted, he was alive and – barely – conscious.

"Oh! You're awake!" chirped Shinra. "That's good, I suppose."

"You're horrible," Izaya mumbled. His eyes slid shut for moment before opening again. "How long have I been gone?"

"Six years," Shinra lied. Izaya rolled his eyes.

"I'm injured, not retarded." He said. "Seriously, how long?"

"Three months," Namie told him. She hesitated before asking the question she was sure she'd regret. "How long was it for you?" Izaya shuddered, his eyes slipping again as his consciousness faded.

"Longer."


	2. Disarmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the twins visit their brother and Namie has regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sniff… Wow… so many people like this… That really makes me happy, guys. I'm so glad you appreciate this story. I was going to work on something else today, but I can't help it! The fic must go on! Also, the first half of this chapter is mostly just online chatting. There's a reason for it, but it shouldn't happen too often. Oh, and since my headcanon is that Izaya is (or, here, was) in love with Shinra, that'll be brought up. After all, the middle school thing…
> 
> Warning: Erika

Maomin: EEEEEEE!!!!! I saw it! Shizu-chan was coming out of IzaIza's apartment! He's trying to find his missing love!

Pure Water 100%: I don't think that's it.

Gaki: It's quite possible. Oi-chan doesn't know Orihara-san all that well, but it's very likely that he swings that way.

Saika: Sorry, but… I don't think so.

Setton: Trust me, they hate each other.

Tanaka Tarō: I don't think two people who constantly try to kill each other are going to be in love.

Maomin: Clearly you don't understand true love.

Bakyura: Or maybe _you're_ just delusional.

Saki: Is this all we can think of to talk about?

Setton: Well, Kanra usually provided most of the gossip, but she left the chat a while ago, so…

Bakyura: Oh no that is terrible.

Bakyura: Could you sense the sarcasm there?

Bakyura: 'Cause I meant it.

Saki: Bakyura…

Saika: Um, sorry, has anyone seen Chrome?

-Chrome has entered the chat-

Chrome: You called?

Pure Water 100%: Wow. Good timing, Chrome.

MONTA: Where've you been?

Chrome: Sorry, that's classified.

Chrome: I just checked the chat log.

Chrome: Heiwajima and Orihara? Seriously?

Maomin: DUH!!! It's true love!

-The Indoor Doctor has entered the chat-

The Indoor Doctor: No, it really isn't.

The Indoor Doctor: True love is what I have with my beloved–

Setton: Can it, you weirdo.

Chrome: About Kanra, she left before I joined, right?

MONTA: Just a bit before, yeah.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Sorry to bother you, Celty-san, but do you know where Izaya-san is?

Setton [Private]: …Yeah.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Is he okay? He's not very nice, but he's still a part of the Dollars, so… I'd like to know please.

Setton [Private]: He's not doing too well, but I think he's getting better.

Pure Water 100%: Come to think of it, Kanra was the administrator of this chat, right? Who's in charge now?

Chrome: I am. Kanra and I go back a bit, so she gave the reigns to me. It's odd, all things considered. That's why I asked earlier: I wanted to know if she really left.

Saki: She does have a tendency to troll.

-Kanra has entered the chat-

Chrome: Kanra?

Setton: Oh, Kanra, welcome back.

Tanaka Tarō: How've you been?

Kanra: …

MONTA: Kanra? Is everything all right?

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Does this mean Izaya-san's better?

Bakyura [Private]: Not as far as I know. I'm fairly certain this isn't him.

Kanra: Watching.

MONTA: Huh?

Kanra: I know who you are.

Kanra: I know. Watching.

Kanra: I'm watching you. Watching. I know who you are.

Saika: Do you think Kanra-san caught a virus?

Saki: Maybe it's a troll?

Kanra: I'm watching. Always watching I'm watching you I know who you are I'm watching you watching always watching I know who you are I'm watching you

Maomin: This is creepy… It's like a horror manga!

Kanra: You can't save him

Setton: What's that mean?

Kanra: You can't save him he's mine all mine belongs to me all mine you can't save him you can't I won't let you have him

Tanaka Tarō: Is she talking about Izaya-san?

Chrome: Guys, something's wrong–––––

-Chrome has been disconnected-

Kanra: Haha

Kanra: Hahahahaha

Kanra: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Kanra: He's mine all mine

Setton: If you're the reason Izaya is hurt, you better fix whatever you did.

Kanra: Dullahan

Setton: Pardon?

Kanra: Dullahan head I have it I have it your head it's mine he's mine too all mine belong to me all mine

Tanaka Tarō: What's she trying to say?

Kanra: …Hungry.

MONTA: Okay, this is just–––––

-MONTA has been disconnected-

Maomin: MONTA? MONTA? OMG what just happened????

-Maomin has been disconnected-

Kanra: Mine he's mine head is mine your head his life all mine all mine you can't have him he's mine all mine belongs to me

Saika: Sorry, but this is getting a little too scary for me.

-Saika has left the chat-

Bakyura: Yeah, I don't feel like hanging around right now. Later.

-Bakyura has left the chat-

-Saki has left the chat-

-The Indoor Doctor has left the chat-

Pure Water 100%: I don't quite understand what's going on.

Kanra: No hope for you

Kanra: No hope he's mine kill belongs to me help me won't let you take him mine all mine you can't have him belongs to me.

-Pure Water 100% has been disconnected-

-Setton has been disconnected-

-Tanaka Tarō has been disconnected-

-There is no one in the chatroom at this time-

…

Kanra: Haha

Kanra: Hahahahahahahaha

Kanra: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Kanra: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Kanra has left the chat-

-There is no one in the chatroom at this time-

 

 

Namie scowled at the computer. She had been kicked out of the chatroom before she could even finish her sentence. Granted, she was using Izaya's account, but that didn't really matter. Izaya really hated being weak, she thought, especially if he was willing to tell her his password in order to convince people that he, or, rather, 'Chrome', was okay. She glanced at her employer, who was mostly conscious on the couch. He gave her a weak grin and a thumbs up. She rolled her eyes.

"Someone online was using 'Kanra'." She said. "They were spamming or something, like Saika did before Sonohara Anri regained control." He nodded.

"Got it." he brought his hand up to his mouth as he coughed. Shinra, Kadota, Celty, and Shizuo had left about an hour ago, which was good, because Namie really couldn't stand to be in the presence of the _thing_ that called itself the Black Rider, and she didn't think Izaya was too keen on having Shizuo in his office. The door opened, and the "demon twins", as Namie liked to think of them, appeared in the doorway.

"Shinra told us you were awake."

"…Okay (how are you doing?)…"

"I'm all right," Izaya told his sisters. "Still can't come in?" Mairu pressed her hand against whatever invisible wall separated her and her twin from their brother.

"Still can't come in," she confirmed.

"Unacceptable (we need to do something about this)…" Kururi said. Izaya gave them a weak grin.

"How are Mom and Dad?"

"They've been better," Mairu responded. "They came by while you were out, but they couldn't get in either. Neither could Grandma and Grandpa." Izaya blinked.

"They came by too?" he asked, surprised. Kururi nodded. "Huh. Well then. It's a shame I missed them."

"Liar (you hate talking to your family)…" Izaya chuckled.

"That's true," he admitted. "I'm surprised you didn't bring them. Granny's been trying to get me to come to a family gathering for years. Violently, she's been trying." Namie raised an eyebrow.

"Should I even bother asking, Yoda?" she spoke drily, but relief that communication had become easier was evident in her voice.

"Don't bother," Mairu told her. "Everyone in our family is crazy."

"Cousin (our dad's younger twin sister's daughter is all right, but we don't know her too well)…" It was amazing, Namie thought, that Kururi could convey so much with so little. Then again, they only had the one cousin.

"So… how do you feel?" Mairu asked. Izaya grinned, but nobody fell for it.

"Been better," he responded. "But I'll be fine soon." Namie decided not to point out how untrue this was. Izaya had been bouncing between 'mildly okay' to 'barely conscious' to 'about to die' ever since his awakening. They still had no idea what was wrong, and any attempts to question Izaya on what had happened had resulted in a panic attack, and, even after he calmed down, the informant would remain in a borderline catatonic state for the rest of the day. He never seemed to remember these panic attacks, but he also didn't seem to be aware that he had ever been gone. He was, Namie thought, treating the situation as if it were a twenty-four hour cold or a mildly irritating mosquito. According to Shinra, it was Izaya's way of getting better: completely refusing to acknowledge what had happened in order to maintain an image of normality. He was, the doctor had explained, unable to cope with whatever had happened, and had thus decided to act has if it had never happened at all. From the way he spoke, Namie suspected that this was not the first time Shinra had witnessed Izaya lying to himself.

On good days, like this one, Izaya seemed awake and cheerful, if physically weakened. On bad days, he struggled to remain conscious, and was mostly unable to digest anything. On _really_ bad days, he was either completely unconscious, or unable to recognize his surroundings. Those were the days he panicked when anyone, even Shinra, got near him. It was as if he couldn't see their faces.

Namie bit her lip as she watched her employer, who had developed a plethora of tics he had not once had. Sometimes he would curl his right hand into a fist and squeeze until it bled. Sometimes he would chew on his lip, a habit he had previously avoided – he had believed it showed uncertainty, and Orihara Izaya was _never_ uncertain. Worst, though, were the times his right hand would travel up to his left shoulder, and he would simply sit there, clutching his shoulder, and feeling grateful that Shinra had hidden the left side of his body from the rest of the world (save Namie). Occasionally, he would attempt to reach for something with his left arm, only to stop and stare, confused, at what he had attempted to reach for. She would, inevitably, swallow the lump in her throat and pass him whatever it was he was trying to reach, and he would, equally inevitably, fail to notice that he had not picked it up himself. Shinra had decided that, until they were sure that Izaya was self aware, no one else needed to know of the informant's condition. Sometimes, it seemed that Izaya knew what was wrong with him, but others he seemed completely clueless. When Namie was helping him readjust to walking, he had asked her to stand to his left, as she was right-handed, and he felt that that would be easier on both of them. A moment later, however, he had followed her uncomfortable gaze to the left side of his body, and given a quiet "oh". He had made no more protests that day, but the next day repeated the previous.

Izaya bid farewell to the twins, and turned towards his secretary. He followed her gaze to his left shoulder and frowned.

"Don't." He said simply. She glanced up, gave him a tight-lipped smile, and nodded. "Please," he added. "Just… ignore it." She sighed.

"How are you?" That was what she said, but it wasn't what she was asking, and Izaya knew it.

"I'm here," he replied. "I'm here today." He looked down at his shoulder. "I… is it there?" She blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"Is it there?" he repeated. "My arm. I can feel it, and I think I can see it, but I'm not sure it's still there. It's not working. I tried to pick something up, but I couldn't. I was reaching for the cup, and I felt my hand close around it, but I'm pretty sure you ended up giving it to me." She was silent, unsure of what to say. "They took it."

"Yeah." Whoever 'they' were. "Yeah, it's gone." He stared at the space where his left arm had been, and she saw his shoulder – or, rather, what was left of his shoulder – make a rolling motion. Her employer shut his eyes.

"Namie-san?"

"Yes?"

"Is there a knife in the wall?" She knew the answer, but she looked anyway.

"No."

"Oh." He reopened his eyes at stared at the unblemished wall. "Are you sure?"

"There's no knife in the wall, Izaya." She watched as he lay back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"I didn't think there would be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Well, if that was depressing then I don't know what is. So Izaya has apparently lost an arm… not sure where that came from, but what the hey. As for the identity of "them", well, you'll just have to wait. Last chapter was written before I learned that Namie and Shizuo once bonded over their hatred of Izaya, so I'll include that. Many fans assume Izaya has some connection to Saika, as they have so many similarities: they both love humans, they both want to cut Shizuo, they both see to be able to cut through anything (seriously, if Anri's katana can cut through a goddamn warehouse door, Izaya's tiny little flick blade should not have been able to block it), etc. I don't know if that will be brought up in this story, but what will be brought up is that Izaya probably isn't entirely human (the guy can leap impossible distances, take convenience store trashcans and vending machines to the head, and survived getting punched in the face by Simon, who is about as strong as Shizuo). Either way, if you've already guessed what the guys who kidnapped Izaya want, well good for you. I have a headcanon that Izaya's parents are the only normal people in the family, so expect his grandparents to be a little bit… nuts. Also, if anyone is wondering about Izaya's cousin, they are a canon character, but not canonically his cousin – I just think they look way too similar for it to be a coincidence. Sorry that this Author's Note is so long, but I had a lot of things to say. Anyhow, next chapter we find out what "they" were after. Well, I'm not actually that nice, so it's only implied. But! We do get to meet Mikage and a certain someone that you probably didn't expect, so you have that to look forward to.
> 
> Also, just so you know, I posted this on Fanfiction.net first, and I'm trying to make the transfer as smooth as possible, but I'd appreciate feedback from anyone who wants to give it!


	3. Fool for Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So the day before I left for Mexico, my computer decided it didn't feel like working anymore. So, instead of writing this chapter like I said I would, I basically sulked and played Pokémon when I wasn't swimming with dolphins and sea lions. At least, until I remembered that I had my notebook. I planned out the story a bit, but, knowing me, it probably won't follow the path I set up for it. I am not writing this story. This story is writing itself.
> 
> On another note, I've gotten a couple reviews asking about pairings (read: "I want Shizaya" and "I want Izanami"). Thus, I'd like to clarify something: I'm as lost as you are. These guys don't care about what we want – they're writing themselves. All I can say is that it'll be one or the other, but neither is going to happen until Izaya overcomes his other relationship problems. Why? It's because my long-term goal is to become the Joss Whedon of fanfiction.net. I want you guys to love me until you hate me, and hate me until you love me. I want to see people hating what's happening but being unable to turn away. To be entirely honest: I want to watch you cry when they cry, suffer when they suffer, laugh when they laugh, and scream when they scream. But mostly, I just want you to enjoy this story.

Kishitani Shinra was not an idiot. Oh, he acted like one, that was undeniable, but anyone who knew him – really _knew_ him – knew that he was crafty enough to outmaneuver Izaya if he needed to. However, Shinra's job description did not involve 'cleverness'. It certainly involved knowledge of the human body and a select amount of not noticing the copious bodies that piled up on the side, but nobody wanted their unlicensed underground doctor to notice things, lest they themselves be 'noticed'. This did not mean that Shinra's entire personality was an act – it wasn't, not at all. He really was a goofy, hyperactive, excitable idiot who was extremely in love with his Dullahan roommate. He was also, however, a sadistic, manipulative, borderline-sociopathic asshole who would do literally anything to keep the woman he loved with him – even lie to her face and manipulate his best friend.

He knew exactly what those people had been after, but despite "Kanra's" claim to the contrary, Celty's head was exactly where it should be – on Izaya's bookshelf. Shinra knew for a fact that, no matter what was done to Izaya, the informant would never ever betray the doctor. Shinra probably should feel bad about using Izaya's feelings against him, but Celty came first. And, if Shinra himself were used as a bargaining chip, Izaya would give up Celty's head in no time. And so, after making a couple of phone calls, the doctor did the one thing he thought would ensure his beloved's safety:

He disappeared.

***

The man smiled. Things could not be going more perfectly. He watched as the secretary woman received a phone call from the doctor. The initial plan had been to kidnap Kishitani himself, but this would work just as well. Now, if only that infernal woman would leave… Perhaps a call from her beloved brother would do the trick.

***

It happened out of the blue. Namie had stepped outside the office to take a call from Seiji, and Izaya had been left on his own to ponder his situation. And then, he had smelled it. It was That Stench – that creeping, nasty, awful smell that haunted his nightmares, that disgusting, rancid, rotting stench of decay. It was the monster that Izaya could only think of as the Rotting Man.

There was no other name to suit him. He was neither ugly nor beautiful, neither masculine nor feminine. He was neither fat nor skinny nor anywhere in between. His eyes were neither brown nor blue nor green nor gray nor any other color, but rather they simply were. His skin was neither pale nor tanned, neither black nor white nor yellow nor brown nor pink. He was a being that simply was.

And what he was, was evil. There was no other way to describe his existence other than simply the epitome of cruelty. He had neither a long-term goal nor a short-term goal. He had no end game whatsoever. He merely existed to cause pain, suffering, misery, and fear.

It was this man – if he could even be called a man – who had torn Izaya from his godlike pedestal, it was this man who had ripped him to pieces, put him back together, and broken what was left, and it was this man that had so utterly destroyed him.

The smell that followed the Rotting Man was the unmistakable stink of decay, but it did not come from anything that was decaying. The Rotting Man himself was not rotting, nor did he truly stink of rot. However, the aura of sheer evil he exuded could not be processed by the human brain in any way other than through the repulsive stench of death. Izaya knew, even before the figure appeared in front of him, who it would be.

He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out. The Rotting Man grinned at him, if a being with no truly defined facial features could indeed grin. The Rotting Man did not bother himself with speech, but he did not have to. Izaya knew what he wanted.

"I won't tell you," he said simply. "No matter what." His words were strong, but his fear was obvious. It was a fear that he was not ashamed of, for it was less of a phobia and more of a simple fact: the Rotting Man was to be feared.

Perhaps the Rotting Man had spoken, but he had not done so in a way that the human brain could understand. Somehow, though, Izaya understood. _You will_.

"No." he repeated. "I won't tell you." The face of the monster – if the front of its head could be called a face – twisted it to something that felt like a smile. It wasn't a kind smile. It was the kind of smile one would expect to see from an anime villain – a cold, demeaning smile that send uncomfortable chills down one's spine. In this case, it was the kind of smile that mocked and taunted and demeaned.

The Rotting Man's hand cupped Izaya's cheek in an almost affectionate manner. He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered, but his body had frozen and refused his brain's orders to flee. The hand was cold – ice cold, as if he regularly refrigerated himself – and Izaya was all too aware that the rest of him was the same way. The hand remained where it was, but Izaya felt something else – something that wasn't a hand, or anything a human being would possess – creeping its way around his side. It was as though he was being embraced by Lord Voldemort's lovechild with Cthulhu, though that probably would have been a lot more comfortable. The tentacle (it wasn't really a tentacle, but that was the only word in any human language that could be used to describe it) elongated to wrap itself around his torso, sliding teasingly under his shirt.

"I won't tell you," he gasped, feeling his body's trembles begin to overwhelm him. "I won't–" and then he saw it. Images. Images of Shinra, bloody and broken, being tied to a chair, being hurt, being torn to pieces, being–

_I have him_ was the obvious message. The grip tightened ever so slightly.

"Don't hurt him." And it was that simple. Just like that, Izaya had lost. Just like that, the months he'd spent in unending agony were worthless, because the Rotting Man had found his weakness. The monster had Shinra, and it knew that Izaya would do anything to ensure his safety. "Please. Let him go."

_Where is it_?

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, silently apologizing to Shinra as he tried not to cry.

"The bookshelf. It's in the bookshelf." A ligament of whatever-the-hell stretched out to the piece of furniture, gently moving the books aside. The Rotting Man withdrew the jar containing Celty's head, and the tentacle around Izaya's waist moved up to caress his cheek before sliding towards his mouth. "Please. Please no."

It didn't listen.

***

Namie returned from her phone call to find her employer quietly crying on the floor. The open window, moved books, and the torn state of Izaya's clothing told her everything she needed to know. Shinra had been in hiding for only two days, and Izaya had forgotten. Or, perhaps, the information had simply never registered. In any case, the damage had been done. Whatever it was that had taken Izaya in the first place had returned, had gotten what it was looking for, and left behind a mess.

After carrying Izaya's far too light form to the couch to sleep, Namie called Shinra and told him the news: Celty's head was gone.

***

Kadota Kyōhei was not one to reminisce on the past. He was not one to forget it, by any means, but he didn't believe he gained anything by thinking about things that couldn't be changed. However, all these happenings were starting to seem more than a little coincidental to him, and the only thing he knew for certain was that Izaya was somehow involved.

And so, here he was, waiting by himself at Russia Sushi for a classmate he hadn't seen in years – a classmate that he'd once had a crush on.

Sharaku Mikage, when she arrived, looked very similar as she had nine years prior. Her hair was shorter, her breasts were bigger, and she wore decidedly less clothing, but she was still the same girl he'd occasionally hung out with back in high school. A small part of him wondered if she still harbored a crush on Izaya, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Hey." He said, feeling immensely stupid.

"Hey yourself." She replied. "Look, Kyōhei, I know this is about Izaya, so let's just cut to the chase, alright?"

"Right." She was very straightforward. He liked that about her. "Sharaku-san, I'd like to know why you dropped out of high school." Mikage stared at him, surprise evident on her face. Finally, she sighed.

"Should've figured that'd come up sooner or later," she remarked, leaning against the wall. "I can't tell you everything, Kyōhei, though I'm sure you knew that already." Kadota chuckled.

"Obviously. I mean, Izaya's involved, right?" he said. She laughed. It was a very nice sound.

"True enough, I suppose." She tilted her head back to look at the sky, before returning her gaze to his. "Alright then. I'll tell you." She raised a finger to cut off his grateful response. "If and only if you buy me lunch." He smiled.

"Sounds great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, this chapter was shorter than I would have liked. Sorry. Anyway, I feel I should apologize for how longer it took me to write this. I know excuses are like assholes (everybody's got one), but I actually have Asperger's Syndrome, which is similar to autism (but not the same, regardless of what the DSM would have you believe), and with that comes severe focus issues, which yes, do reflect in my grades at school. Anyway, though I would love to be able to fart out chapters at the speed of Kid Flash on caffeine, I unfortunately am not capable of doing so. Thus, while I have every intention of finishing this story as well as my others, it will take a while. I apologize for the inconvenience.
> 
> Moving right along, as you may have guessed, some pretty shitty things happened to Izaya during his period of captivity, and, while I will probably not go into too much detail, he will be severely affected. WARNING: If you are reading this because you want to see Izaya getting it on with Namie or Shizuo (or both, you kinky freaks), stop reading. I cannot write smut. It's not that I don't want to, and it's not that I haven't tried; it is simply that I am bad at it. I fear any attempt to produce such content would result in a bastard hybrid of 50 Shades of Grey and the Twilight series (I have nothing against either series, by the way – I simply enjoy making fun of things).


	4. The Grim Red Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, I have returned, and brought with me a brand new chapter! Yay! Also, I realized that I am oddly prone to beginning paragraphs with the names of characters. I don't have much to say today, so I'll keep it brief: feel free to ask any questions about this story, anonymous or no. I will answer all questions pertaining to this story or Durarara itself, so long as there are no spoilers involved (unless unavoidable). Enjoy! Sorry it took so long, by the way.

Heiwajima Shizuo was not a man of many words. He was, some would say, a man of Incredible Hulk-like DNA. He was very strong, not too bright (though by no means an idiot), and, usually, very, very angry. At the moment, however, he was simply confused.

From the perspective of Heiwajima Shizuo, people fell into one of five categories: Annoying, Not Too Annoying, Extremely Annoying, People I Like, and Flea. The majority of people he knew fell into the 'Annoying' category. The majority of people he dealt with during his job as a bodyguard fell into the 'Extremely Annoying' category. Tom, Celty, Kasuka (and, by default, Ruri), Vorona, Akane, and his parents, Heiwajima Kichirō and Heiwajima Namiko, fell into the 'People I Like' category. Kadota, Erika, Walker, Saburo, Simon, Ryūgasaki (or something like that), Kida Masaomi (the one who'd been framed for shooting him), that one other kid (y'know, with the glasses… what was her name?), and the Orihara twins, Mairu and Kururi, fell into the 'Not Too Annoying' category (unless the last two were bugging him about his brother, in which case they were in the 'Annoying' category). Shinra was in the 'Extremely Annoying' category. Izaya fell into the 'Flea' category, not that he would ever let Izaya himself know that (or Erika, because he knew exactly what went on in _her_ head). Shizuo usually tried to restrain himself from hitting things, but he viewed the people in the 'Extremely Annoying' category as acceptable targets.

Anyone who made it into the 'Flea' category (read: Izaya) was less of an acceptable target, and more of a necessary target. Yes, Heiwajima Shizuo was not a complicated person. However, Shizuo did not enjoy violence. He despised both violence itself, and the fact that he always ending up resorting to violence.

He would not hit a woman unless absolutely necessary (either because she was attacking him or because she was attacking someone he cared about). He would not hurt a child. There were no exceptions to that rule. And he would not hit a man unprovoked. It was extremely easy to provoke him, though, so that last rule was rather bendy. He would always hit Orihara Izaya.

Except for now. Except for when he saw the flea, barely conscious, struggling to pretend he was okay, furiously refusing to show weakness even when he wasn't even able to stand. It hurt. It hurt to know that there were people (or creatures, because who really knew) capable of doing things like this. Izaya was cruel, Izaya was evil, Izaya was an absolute scumbag, Izaya deserved to get the shit beaten out of him, but he did not deserve to be ruthlessly torn apart, utterly destroyed beyond recognition. And, despite being so horrifically broken, Izaya had not given up.

And Shizuo was jealous. It was ironic, he thought. He was aware that Izaya was jealous of him as well. Their hatred did not come from jealousy, nor did their jealousy come from hatred, but both helped to inflame the other. Izaya was jealous of Shizuo's many friends, even though the debt collector was a monster, while he himself only had Shinra. Shizuo was jealous of Izaya's self-control, of his ability to control every muscle and bone and thought he had, while Shizuo could only stand back and watch himself cause wanton destruction.

Somewhere along the line, the hatred and the jealousy and the insults blended together in a smoothie of mutual disgust, until both of them could see the three traits they had in common (aside from not hitting girls). First, neither of them felt like a good older brother, as Shizuo set a terrible example for Kasuka and Izaya had basically emotionally abused Kururi and Mairu (not that that had really affected them; they would have been messed up regardless). Second, they both had some measure of self-loathing, as Shizuo hated his inability to control his strength and Izaya hated his inability to control his mouth. Third, neither acknowledged themselves or the other as fully human. Shizuo believed he was a monster and Izaya was a flea, and Izaya believed Shizuo was a protozoan and he himself was – actually, who knew.

Shizuo was aware that Izaya wanted to be a god. He was also aware that that dream had most likely been crushed beneath the heel of whatever hell beast had torn the informant from his pedestal and thrown him to the ground.

But that was not what Heiwajima Shizuo was thinking.

He and Izaya had, since high school, been trapped within the whirling vortex of their hatred, the tango of their conflicting monstrosities. And it seemed nothing had changed at all. Both continued building their lives, wrecking the other's life, and at the same time their own. They spun around and around and around and around in a spiraling hurricane of self-destruction. All either of them could do was break things, and hope that someone else knew how to fix the things they had broken. In the end, they would destroy each other.

Except Shizuo would win. Izaya would have his small victories, but in the end, he was alone. He had no one. He had nothing but enemies. Shizuo would stand against him, and everyone else would side with Shizuo. Simon would try to calm things down, but in the end, he too would turn away. Mairu and Kururi loved their brother, but they loved Yūhei more, and Kasuka (and Ruri, for that matter) would undoubtedly side with Shizuo. Izaya's parents were in the States. Namie only cared for her brother. Aoba and Masaomi hated Izaya, and Saki, Anri, and Mikado cared about Masaomi too much to go against him. Celty was Shizuo's best friend. And then there was Shinra. That probably hurt Izaya the most, Shizuo thought. The very idea of being against Shinra was not something Izaya could handle. Shizuo was not a social genius, but he knew that, at some level, Izaya genuinely cared for the bespectacled man. And it was not mutual. Shinra would side with Celty. Shinra would _always_ side with Celty, and Celty would always side with Shizuo, and in the end no one would be there to care when Izaya was finally all alone.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

There was no light at the end of the tunnel. This is not to say that there was no happy ending (nor is it to say that there is no oncoming train), but in this circumstance should be taken literally. There really was a tunnel, and there really wasn't a light. At the end of the tunnel was a room. The lights were out in the room, which would be why there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

The tunnel was the staircase leading up to Izaya's room, where the informant was currently tossing and turning in his sleep, as whatever had been preventing him from leaving his office had vanished. So, basically, the lights were out because Izaya was asleep, and not because he was afraid of being hit by a train.

…This metaphor did not finish where it started.

Anyway, Namie had pretty much moved in at this point (not that she hadn't practically been his mother for nearly a year even before all this had happened), so she was downstairs answering phone calls and being grateful that Izaya had a guest room. It had been about two days since Celty's head had been taken and Izaya had been re-traumatized, and Namie was fairly certain that he was less concerned about the assault and more concerned about the fact that Shinra was furious with him.

She sighed as the phone rang.

"Yagiri Namie speaking, how may I help you?"

"Yagiri-san." Shiki Haruya of the Awakusu-kai had a very calm tone, even though he was one of the few people who knew about Izaya's… condition.

"Shiki-san." She responded, pretending that speaking to him wasn't horribly nerve-wracking. Not that Shiki was a particularly bad person – he was actually a very fair person. It was more that he happened to be very powerful, and Namie was not in a good position to disagree with him should the situation arise. "What can I do for you today?"

"I was simply calling to check in on Orihara-san," Shiki replied. "I'd like to make sure he's on the road to recovery – we'd like our informant back as soon as possible."

"He's getting better," she said, honestly. Most of his wounds had indeed healed, and the only preventing him from making a complete recovery was the missing arm and the psychological trauma.

"That's good to hear," said Shiki. "If you need anything, let me know, alright?"

"You're really worried about him, aren't you?" the words slipped out before she could stop them, but before she could apologize, Shiki spoke.

"So it would seem." He said. "I'm a little surprised myself, to be honest, but I think it's because Orihara-san was hired by a former colleague of mine, Kine. I had a great deal of respect for Kine, which is the reason I put up with Orihara-san's crap all the time. I think it's mostly nostalgia."

"I see. I apologize for asking such a personal question."

"Hm. Have a good day, Yagiri-san."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kadota Kyōhei had never been an extremely talkative person, but his friends were beginning to worry. Ever since his "date" two days ago, he'd been oddly silent, as if contemplating something. For him, the question pertaining to Izaya's attacker was less of "who" or "why", and more of "how". The identity or reason of the attacker was pointless to look into: the conflicting personalities of Ikebukuro were untied solely by the desire to see Izaya run over by a bus. But the only people who'd ever gotten close enough to Izaya to actually hurt him were Shizuo (who would never have gone _this_ far), Shinra (who wouldn't be helping Izaya if he'd been the one to hurt him), Celty (who was too nice to do anything like that), Namie (whose paycheck was signed by Izaya), Simon (who hated violence even more than Shizuo), and Mikage, who… well, he wasn't sure.

"Kadota-san?" Walker's voice cut through his thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"Was your mind stolen?" Erika asked. "Or maybe you were–"

"I'm fine," Kadota responded. "Just thinking." The otaku glanced at one another, a silent message past between them.

"No, something's definitely on your mind," Saburo said. "Ever since your date with that girl–"

"Mikage," Kadota interrupted. "Her name is Sharaku Mikage. And it wasn't a date, just two friends going out to lunch." Erika and Walker gave him identical looks, clearly stating that they weren't buying it.

"What even happened?" Erika wondered. "We know you were talking about Izayan, but–" Walker covered her mouth, and Saburo looked guilty. Kadota sighed.

"You guys are impossible," he muttered. "Yeah, we mentioned Izaya. I don't wanna talk about it, alright?" The otaku and Saburo all looked concerned, but none of them pressed the subject. There was silence in the van for a while, until Erika spoke up again.

"You can tell us, you know," she said. "We'll keep your secret, Dotachin."

"I know."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Mairu shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not meeting her father's eyes. It was awkward to be in the same house with her parents. She and Kururi had essentially been raised by Izaya (which really explained a lot), though their grandparents had been there too. There was only so much that two old people could do for three young children, even if Izaya's story of their grandmother wrestling a bear held any truth to it. There was a reason Mairu knew her brother cared for her – if he hadn't, he'd have left when he'd had the chance. But he'd stayed, because they had needed him, and now he needed them.

She was alone in the house with her father because Kururi and their mother had gone shopping. If there was one thing the twins appreciated about their mother, it was her ability to cook. Orihara Kyōko made the best damn curry in the world.

"So." The man across from her finally decided to try to talk to her. "How's school been?" Mairu was usually a chatterbox, but she really wasn't sure how to respond. Well, honesty was the best policy…

"I threatened a girl with tacks," she said. Shiro blinked at her. Mairu couldn't help but feel awkward when she finally met her father's eyes. Shiro looked quite a bit like her. Or, rather, she looked like him. She and Kururi had inherited their father's shaggy brown hair and warm chocolate eyes, whereas their brother had taken after their mother's silky black hair and mischievous red eyes.

"I see," Shiro responded. "Ah… did you use tacks to threaten a girl, or did the girl you threatened have tacks?"

"I used them to threaten her," Mairu clarified. Shiro did not tell her that she shouldn't have done that. Mairu liked that about her father. He wasn't very talkative (though nowhere near as quiet as Kururi), and he didn't scold them. He knew that she knew that using tacks to threaten people wasn't socially acceptable, and he also knew that she had been raised by her slightly insane brother.

"Did your brother tell you to do that?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Iza-nii doesn't talk to us much," she told him, not even bothering to mask her surprise. Izaya was usually not talked about. It was not that they didn't care about him, or even that he didn't care about them. It was simply awkward for all of them. Mairu knew for a fact that Izaya avoided talking about his family as much as they avoided talking about him.

"I see." He hesitated. "Is he alright? We couldn't get in when we tried to visit, so…" Mairu nodded.

"Yeah, but he's all moody now 'cause Shinra's mad at him," she said. "And you can probably get in now."

"I don't… dislike magic." Shiro told her suddenly. She looked at him.

"Where'd that come from?"

"I want you to know… I don't disapprove of the supernatural. I don't mind if you have friends that are… odd." He hesitated again. Mairu was beginning to wonder if her father was capable of getting through a single sentence without pausing. "I want you to be happy. All three of you… I want you to be happy. But I also want you to be safe. I don't just mean that Heiwajima kid, or that headless woman. I just…" he looked so helpless that Mairu could barely resist the urge to hug him. "Magic is _dangerous_ , Mairu." She nodded.

"I know." She tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. "So you think it was magic that was keeping us from Iza-nii?" Her father's lip twitched, which she was pretty sure was his version of a snort.

"I'm not an idiot," Shiro said simply. "I am, however, your father. I want you to know that I – that I _care_ about you, Mairu. I love you, and Kururi, and even your crazy brother. But you and Kururi – you're my little girls, and if anything were to happen to you, I think… I don't think I could handle that."

Later, Mairu would regret opening her mouth, but the words simply flew out before she could stop them.

"Dad, I think Iza-nii was raped." She blurted. Her father winced.

"Yes, ah, that was what I had assumed." He said. "I didn't know what to do… I just – that's my _son_. I know I'm not the best father, but… seeing my boy like that… what am I supposed to think, Mairu? I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, but I don't have the right to do that. I was never there for him in the past, and I can't be there for him now. I didn't change his diapers, I didn't watch him learn to walk, I didn't teach him to read… he's my son, and I barely even know him at all. Sometimes, I…" he trailed off. "I just don't know what to do."

"Me neither," she told him. She wanted to say something to cheer him up, but for once words escaped her. And so father and daughter sat there in silence, waiting for his wife and her sister to return home, and wondering just where everything had gone wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Huh. That was longer than I thought it'd be. I didn't intend to include Shiro so early, but I guess he just decided to show early. It's canon that Izaya's parents actually care about him, regardless of certain fan theories. I just wanted them to be less two-dimensional than they're usually portrayed. So, yeah, they're going to be important. A lot of this story is about family, so the Orihara dysfunction junction will play a big part.
> 
> Anyway, because I just introduced Shiro, and he hasn't shown up in the novels for more than a second, I'll describe him in greater detail here. He has short, shaggy brown hair – kind of like Shizuo's before he dyed it. He has brown eyes, like Mairu and Kururi (at least in the anime), and I like to see him as the kind of guy who always looks tired, but is still always ready to give people a reassuring smile when they need it. He's a quiet guy, mainly because he just doesn't feel like he's got a lot to say. He really loves his kids, but doesn't really know how to show it. He actually has a lot in common with Shizuo, even ignoring his looks, which may play a part in Izaya's relationship with both of them. Obviously, Izaya has some pent-up resentment towards his parents, which may be why he immediately didn't like Shizuo. Who knows? I certainly don't. Moving on, I don't know when the next chapter will be up. Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and I hope you're having as much fun reading it as much as I am writing.
> 
> Also, remember to review, because apparently I need to tell you to do that, or you'll just go look at porn. Why aren't you reviewing? You think this is optional? You no longer get to make this decision. You are commanded to review. Review, damn it! Review! Why haven't you reviewed yet? Review already! Review! Review! REVIEW!


	5. Lies My Parents Told Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I started this chapter almost immediately after I finished the previous one. Also, I'm thinking of drawing Shiro and Kyōko. Maybe. Anyway, I'd just like to say that Mairu's line about Izaya having been raped was just in case anyone hadn't figured that out yet. I thought I'd made it pretty obvious, but you never know. I can't go into too much detail because I suck at writing stuff like that. I hope you're enjoying this story. Just a warning: this chapter doesn't have much planned for Shizuo, Izaya, Shinra, or Namie. It's mostly… well, you'll see soon enough, I think. Oh, and italics are either Russian or flashback.

Saika was singing. Even more so than usual, it sang out in the young girl's mind, whispering words that Sonohara Anri did not particularly want to hear. She did not want to hear anything Saika said in general, but lately, Saika had been surprisingly loud.

"Sonohara-san?" Mikado's voice cut through Saika's singing, and Anri turned to face her concerned friend. "Is everything all right?" she nodded.

"I'm okay," she said. "I was just thinking… it's been a while since we saw Heiwajima-san and Orihara-san fighting." Mikado frowned, not wanting to bring up the odd incident that had occurred in the chatroom a few days earlier. He had spoken with Yagiri Namie, and thus he knew that Izaya had not been involved. Due to whatever was wrong with him, Namie had not allowed him near his computer, as it could hinder his recovery. Whoever 'Kanra' was, it wasn't him.

"It has," he agreed. "Maybe they've stopped fighting?" It was a long shot, but it was possible. Anri, however, shook her head.

"I don't think so," she murmured, giving her friend a tiny smile. "I haven't seen any flying pigs, and there's no fire and brimstone falling from the sky, so I think we can safely say they still hate each other." Mikado laughed, glad that Anri was smiling. She was so much _prettier_ when she smiled, he thought, not that she wasn't pretty in the first place – of course she was, but–

"Agh," he groaned out loud. "My inner Masaomi is bugging me," Anri giggled.

"Inner Kida-kun, leave Ryuugamine-kun alone!" she scolded. Mikado grinned at her, and she smiled back, and for a few minutes, the absence of their closest friend wasn't so painful.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kururi walked a few paces behind her mother. It was a trick she had learned from her brother – always walk a bit behind Mother. Watch her, and you will learn things. It was from this woman that Izaya had learned how to make people realize that he was _there_. Orihara Kyōko was a woman that people paid attention to. When she spoke, people listened. Where she walked, heads turned to follow.

Kururi had always thought that her mother was the single most beautiful woman on the face of the planet. Kyōko had long, silky black hair. She didn't bother holding it back; she simply let it flow down her back in glossy raven waves. She had the same sharp red eyes as her son, but hers held a regal glint, rather than a malicious one. Like her son, she was thin, but not bony. She preferred to dress in black or dark red. Her cheekbones were high up on her face, drawing attention to the fact that Orihara Kyōko did not believe in using makeup – which was good, as Kururi thought she wouldn't be quite as beautiful if she did. She was also tall.

However, none of these things are what made Orihara Kyōko so noticeable. It wasn't her looks, or her height, or even the way she held herself. Kyōko had taught her children what she considered to be her greatest secret: Allure. It wasn't magic, though it might as well have been. It was simply a way of making people notice you, or, if you preferred, making sure they didn't. There was a reason that Izaya, in his red and black ensemble, had been able to blend in with the blue-and-white-decked students in his high school. There was a reason that Mairu's black sailor fuku was never noticed by her peers unless she wanted them to be. There was a reason that none of the teachers ever seemed to notice Kururi's less-than-appropriate attire.

And the reason was Allure. It was interesting, Kururi thought, that her mother prized Allure over all her other talents. In fact, all three siblings were very aware that their mother was not normal. It had all started when Izaya's cat, Kanra, disappeared one winter day, and Izaya found her cold body the next morning.

_He was eleven years old and absolutely devastated. He had loved his little kitty, considered her to be his best friend. And now she was cold, unmoving, and dead. Izaya knew about death. He knew what happened when a living creature faded from the world, because he was too smart_ not _to know. And as he had wailed, his father had put a hand on his shoulder and hushed him, and he watched as his mother put the kitty into the oven, and, five minutes later, pulled her out again. Kanra shook the water out of her fur, and wandered off to catch a mouse. It had been magic, Izaya knew, and he told the twins so as well. Later, they had discovered how heat could revive a near-dead animal, but it didn't stop being magic just because you figured out how it was done…_

Kururi had been one at the time, as had her sister, so neither of them really remembered the incident, but their brother made sure they never forgot. It wasn't the only thing their mother could do. Kururi had seen the way her mother's eyes had flashed when a man had sent a perverted grin towards Mairu. Seconds later, the man tripped over a crack in the street and broke his nose on the pavement. If it hadn't been for the slightly vindictive smile on her mother's face, Kururi would have never thought it anything more than a coincidence.

She and her siblings had never asked their parents what it was about Orihara Kyōko that made her different from others. Mairu had claimed that it was their mother's decision to tell them. Izaya had decided that he just didn't really want to know. Kururi simply hadn't cared – after all, Mother was Mother. When Izaya had left home to go to college, Kyōko had made him a lunch, just as she had done when he was a small child, before business trips took over her life. He had looked extremely awkward, and had pointed out that she didn't really need to. Her response, if Kururi remembered correctly, had been:

_"You're my son. I haven't been the greatest mother, but I'm there for you if you need me."_ She had embraced him, then, and Kururi could tell from the look on her brother's face that he didn't receive hugs very often. She and Mairu had hugged him as well, just because. It was, unbeknownst to them, the last time they would do so for many years.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Vorona was not the kind of person to regret things. The way she saw it, if she bothered to regret things, then she'd end up stuck in the past, mourning those who'd died by her hand. So, there were just facts, fiction, and possibilities. She enjoyed killing things. Fact. She enjoyed violence. Fact. She missed her father. Fiction. She wanted to fight Heiwajima Shizuo. Fact. She wanted to defeat and kill Heiwajima Shizuo. Fact. She did not like Orihara Izaya. Fact. She disliked seeing Heiwajima Shizuo upset. Fact. Heiwajima Shizuo was upset because he had terminated Orihara Izaya. Fiction. She understood what those two otaku were talking about when they mentioned 'yaoi' and 'yuri'. Fiction. Heiwajima Shizuo no longer wanted Orihara Izaya dead. Fiction. Heiwajima Shizuo was extremely attractive. Fact. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

…Probability.

She wasn't too sure when the desire to kill Shizuo-senpai had evolved into something else. She was positive that she wanted to fight him, but at the same time, she could not fathom why her heart beat faster when she was around him.

" _Vorona_." She blinked, and looked up. Her old teacher was staring at her, an odd look on his face. " _Are you alright_?"

" _My condition is satisfactory_." She responded. Samiya narrowed his eyes.

" _It is unlike you to be so unfocused_ ," he commented. She shrugged.

" _There are… a couple things on my mind_ ," she confessed. Samiya's lips twitched into a slight grin.

" _Anything to do with_ Shi-zu-o?" he asked. Normally, she would have shaken her head and dismissed his question, but for some reason, she felt warmth in her cheeks. Samiya laughed, and Vorona was reminded again of how much Samiya had changed from her strong, cold teacher to a sushi chef. She should really start calling him 'Simon', like everyone else, but it was difficult to remember.

" _Ridiculous_." She stated. "Have a nice day," she changed to English as she walked off, knowing that Samiya wouldn't try to call after her about something so personal. He smiled as she walked away.

As she strolled through the streets of Ikebukuro, she was unable to stop her mind from returning to the topic of Shizuo and where he might be. And, before she could stop it, a thought crossed her mind: what if Shizuo discovered the truth? She wanted to think he wouldn't instantly hate her for deceiving him, but she also knew that he would not want a friendship based on a lie.

"Ow!" Vorona blinked, looking down to see a small girl holding a teddy bear and rubbing her head. "That hurt!"

"Apologies," the Russian woman replied, offering her hand to the child.

"Thanks, miss!" the girl chirped, allowing herself to be pulled up. "Wow, you're strong!" Vorona blinked again – perhaps she had pulled too hard?

"Ah…" she wasn't sure what to say, but the child just grinned at her until she felt compelled to say something. "Are you alone?" the kid hesitated, but nodded.

"I can't find my mommy," she admitted. "My name's Kanra! Who're you?"

"I am Vorona," Vorona responded. "Where is the location of the last place you recall your mother being?" Kanra stared at her.

"Bo… ro… na…" she murmured. "That's hard to say. Mommy was in the grocery store, but I saw a kitty, so I wanted to play with it!" the girl looked down, blushing. "…And now I'm lost." A few months ago, Vorona would have wished the girl good luck and left. Now, however… Shizuo-senpai was rubbing off on her.

"Do you require assistance?"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Namie glowered at her boss, pushing the plate closer to him.

"This behavior is utterly deplorable," she snapped. "You're pathetic." Izaya glowered at the plate, as if hoping it would explode if he glared at it hard enough.

"Not hungry." He grunted. The woman rolled her eyes, but she was glad that he was talking again, which was surprising, as she usually wanted him to shut the hell up. Depressed Izaya, Namie thought, was a lot worse that Troll Izaya. Troll Izaya, she knew how to handle – ignore him. Don't feed the trolls. Depressed Izaya was a different story. She didn't know how to handle him, and she didn't want to have to handle him.

"Eat anyway," she said. "Kishitani-sensei says you're well enough to eat solid foods now. If you regurgitate it, we'll try smoothies." Izaya's scowl deepened. He really didn't like sweets. Namie sighed. "Look," she began, hoping that negotiation would be of some assistance. "The sooner you can eat the rice, and keep it down, the sooner you can eat ōtoro again." This was, apparently, the wrong thing to say, as Izaya turned green and vomited. Luckily, Namie had placed a bucket by his bedside, so most of the bile landed in that. Namie made a mental note to not bring up ōtoro anymore. Izaya rolled over, and continued stubbornly refusing to eat.

"Need some help?" the secretary turned, meeting gentle eyes with her own cold ones. Mikajima Saki stepped into the room. "I got your call."

"So I see," Namie replied. She wasn't too thrilled to see the girl, however. For some reason, Namie found her off-putting. Perhaps it was simply the fact that she'd been raised by Izaya (and thus _had_ to be at least a _little_ messed up in the head), or maybe it was simply the knowledge that Saki, despite her innocent face and genial personality, was still Izaya's apprentice – she had the same sources, the same sneaky intelligence, the same slightly mischievous streak (though Saki was an infinitely better person), and the same cunning. Speaking to Saki made Namie feel as though she was speaking to a snake. Namie had seen people refer to Izaya as a snake, but she thought that he was more like a cat – a black panther, carefully stalking his prey, but a cat nonetheless.

But if Izaya was a panther, then Saki was a mamushi. Where Izaya lorded himself over the world, Saki calmly slithered on the ground, watching and waiting for her prey. Physically, she wasn't half as dangerous as Izaya, but Namie knew very well that the girl was a force to be reckoned with. In all honesty, Namie was glad that Saki was such a nice girl. She would rather have the pit viper facing away from her when it struck.

Nevertheless, Saki knew Izaya better than Namie did, so the elder stepped aside, allowing the younger to kneel by the wounded man's bedside.

"Quite a mess you've gotten yourself into this time, Izaya-san," Saki said cheerfully. Izaya opened one eye to look at her, and mumbled something that Namie didn't catch. "If you don't eat the rice, I'll be forced to tell everyone what happened in middle school." Izaya rolled his open eye, and then closed it.

"You don't know what happened," he muttered. "You weren't even there,"

"True," Saki agreed, shrugging. "But Kishitani-sensei was, so…"

"I hate you." He sat up, grabbed the bowl of rice, and slowly began to eat, glowering. Saki just laughed. Suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable, Namie left the room. Whatever was going on, it didn't involve her. Kida was sitting on the couch opposite of the one Izaya had been on. He looked up when she entered, only to look back down at the floor when he realized she wasn't Saki.

Neither of them said a word until Saki came back down the stairs with the now-empty rice bowl in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Initially, I was going to have Kanra's first appearance be in chapter three, but then I decided to take her out of the story, and then I put her back in the story because drama. She's not going to have a huge role, though. I don't consider her an OC, seeing as all of Izaya's online names were based on real people, so she has to exist, but we still know nothing about her, so you can see her as an OC if you want. I described Kyōko's physical appearance already, and you'll learn more about her personality later, so I'll describe Kanra for now:
> 
> Kanra is about nine years old, has dark brown eyes, and long black hair. She wears her hair in pigtails, similar to the way Rio wears it, but Kanra's hair is slightly messier. She usually dresses in a pink t-shirt and paint-stained overalls. She's got a bit of a sweet tooth, but her favorite foods are actually strawberries and tekka maki. Her favorite color is red, her favorite animals are dinosaurs, and her favorite TV show is actually the American show Invader Zim. She doesn't speak English, so she doesn't know what the characters are saying, but she thinks it's funny anyway. Oh, and the teddy bear's name is Gigi.


	6. Puer in Somnio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Since I wrote down the really vague plot (a word I use very loosely) in my math book, and since my math teacher has my math book, I have no really vague plot right now. Which is fine, because I'll have it back by Monday, and this chapter probably won't be up until a couple weeks from when I'm writing this. I should probably warn you, though: the final pairings have not been decided, and even if they had been, I'd still be teasing other pairings to mess with you guys. One last thing: shit is about to go down.

Two weeks since Izaya had awoken, eight days since Celty's head had been stolen, seven days since Shinra had stopped speaking to Izaya, four days since Saki had persuaded (read: blackmailed) Izaya to eat, and one minute until Namie _completely lost her damn mind_.

"I cannot put up with this anymore!" she stood up, stalking over to her boss who was lying listlessly on the couch. Saki and Masaomi, who had been quietly talking on the other couch, turned to watch. She lifted Izaya by his shirt, and heard Kida's sharp intake of breath as he realized that Izaya was slightly lacking in the left arm department. How it had taken him so long to realize this, Namie didn't know, but she was glad that he didn't say anything. "Snap out of it!" she said firmly, trying to ignore how much weight Izaya had lost. He looked at her blankly. "You're, what, twenty-four? Stop acting like a child!"

"…Shinra's mad at me," Izaya mumbled. Namie rolled her eyes.

"Oh boo hoo," she sneered. "I'm mad at you all the time, but you're not falling to pieces over that, are you?" His head fell back and he stared at the ceiling.

"You aren't Shinra," he told her.

"And the genius strikes again! How on earth did you figure out that I'm not a bespectacled _male_ doctor who spends twenty-three hours a day obsessing over a headless motorcyclist who can only be identified as female if you're close enough to grab her damn tits!" Kida and Saki both edged away from the secretary. Namie did not approve of vulgar language, and she very rarely yelled at anyone. "You are _goddamn informant_! Find the damn head, get it back, and stop acting like a schoolgirl who got rejected by her crush!"

"Technically, he did," Saki chirped. The glares she got from both Izaya and Namie got her to back down, but her eyes continued to sparkle mischievously.

"Uh, maybe we should go," Masaomi said nervously. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to act in a situation like this, so leaving was the only thing he could think of to do. Izaya sighed.

"Go to Russia Sushi or something," he mumbled. "Tell Simon to put it on my tab," Masaomi blinked at him.

"Since when do you have a tab?" he asked, knowing that the informant usually had enough money on him to buy a small house (no one sane would attempt to mug him, and he could defend himself well enough from any idiot dumb enough to try). The answer became offensively obvious right as the words came out, but Izaya responded anyway.

"Since I stopped having functional legs," he growled, glowering at the aforementioned weakened limbs. Kida guessed that the physical therapy hadn't been going too well.

"Do you want us to bring anything back for you two?" asked Saki.

"I'd like to have some onigiri around," Namie responded. "For days when I'm too busy to leave. Bring a couple plain ones for Izaya too, in case his stomach decides he can handle it." Izaya grumbled something that both Namie and Kida found unintelligible, but Saki, as always, seemed to understand.

"Feel better soon, Izaya-san," she said simply. He didn't meet her eyes.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

"He's not going to get better," Kida said quietly, squeezing his girlfriend's hand. "Not anytime soon, at least. You know that, right?" Saki nodded, resisting the urge to look over her shoulder at the building fading into the skyline.

"I know," she responded. "But he might improve faster with encouragement."

"Whoever did that to him is a sick, twisted fucker." Kida announced. He despised his employer, something he made clear to everyone, but he did not think that anyone deserved… _that_. Saki leaned her head against his shoulder as they crossed into Ikebukuro. Neither of them said another word until they reached Russia Sushi.

"Ah, Kida! Long time no see!" Simon's half-terrifying, half-friendly grin was shot their way, and they both grinned back.

"Kida-kun?" a tentative voice came from behind him, and Kida took a deep breath, and then turned around to meet the confrontation he'd known was inevitable. He grinned.

"Hey, Anri. Mikado." He swallowed the lump in his throat, and felt Saki's hand squeeze his in an effort to comfort him. God, he loved her.

"Masaomi… is that really you, Masaomi?" Mikado looked like he was about to cry tears of happiness. Kida shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Well, Mikado… I could be: 1. Kida Masaomi! 2. Kida Masaomi! 3. Kida Masaomi!" Masaomi felt something tighten in his chest as his two friends flung themselves upon him. He lost hold of Saki's hand as he fell on his butt. "Yeah, yeah, I missed you guys too."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Sometimes, Shinra wondered if he'd made a mistake. It didn't happen often, but every now and then the thought that maybe this was entirely his fault would cross his mind. In fairness, he _was_ responsible for Izaya going off the deep end, so to speak, and he _had_ (albeit inadvertently) started the infamous rivalry that had terrorized the city for the past ten or so years, and­­– well, it was pointless to dwell on the past, but a lot of things that had happened in Ikebukuro could definitely be blamed on him.

And now, he was considering shutting off his phone because he kept getting angry texts from four reasonably angry girls. Mairu and Kururi wanted him to apologize to their brother, Saki wanted him to get his head out of his ass, and Namie wanted her damn paycheck. His phone buzzed again.

 _Damn it, Kishitani, I'm afraid he's about to start crying! If you don't get over here this instant, then so help me God I will–­­­ *Message censored*_ Shinra sighed. He liked apathetic Namie a lot more than he liked angry Namie.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The men had come out of nowhere. Heiwajima Kasuka, better known as Hanejima Yūhei, and his girlfriend, singer/actress/make-up artist/retired serial killer Hijiribe Ruri, were running for their lives. The men chasing them did not have guns, but they were also most likely not human. Absently, he wondered what Carmilla Saizou would do. Well, Carmilla Saizou was a vampire ninja, so he would probably do something that Kasuka was physically incapable of. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his hand, and Ruri pulled him into a dark alley.

"I'm so sorry, Yūhei-san," she gasped, trying to catch her breath.

"What for?" she looked up. His head was tilted to the side. The expression on his face hadn't changed, but she got the feeling he was genuinely puzzled.

"For dragging you into this," she responded, shame gnawing at her gut.

"In that case, don't be." her boyfriend replied. "Even if we're being chased… I enjoy being with Ruri-san." Ruri stared at him, her cheeks dusted red, but before she could come up with a response, the yelling – in a language that neither of them knew or recognized – started up again. Even without the understanding of the words, the meaning was clear: we found them.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The hand holding Vorona's suddenly clenched, and she glanced down at her small companion. The little girl's face had lit up like a beacon, which meant that the child's mother had been spotted.

"Have you located your maternal unit?" Vorona asked. The kid stared at her, so she tried to rephrase her words. "Have you seen your mother?" Kanra beamed.

"Yup!" she chirped. And before Vorona could pull away, go back to her job, and stop thinking if Shizuo's violence would be equally beautiful in b – _not going there_ , the girl had grabbed her hand and was tugging her towards a very worried looking woman. "Mama!" the child called. "Mama!" The woman turned, and Vorona realized that the woman looked far too young to have a ten-year-old daughter.

"Kanra!" the woman cried. "Oh thank god, I was so worried!" There was something wrong, but Vorona couldn't seem to figure it out. The woman thanked her, and grabbed her daughter's hand. Deciding that it didn't really matter, Vorona turned and walked off, completely forgetting about the strange encounter. The woman looked down at the girl and smiled.

"Now then," she said cheerfully. "Where did you say your mother was?"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

It happened so quickly, Namie wasn't even sure it had happened at all. She had been sitting in her boss's swivel chair (because god forbid Izaya own a chair that _didn't_ swivel), responding to her boss's emails, and watching her boss sleep on the couch out of the corner of her eye, and then she had realized that something stank. She wrinkled her nose.

 _What's that stench_? She wondered to herself. The smell was easily the nastiest thing ever to grace her nasal cavity, and she had to wonder if maybe a skunk had taken a shit in a tar pit. She was about to dismiss it as a particularly dead piece of road kill (which would mean she'd have to call the city to get them to clean it up), when Izaya sat bolt upright, eyes wide and terrified. Before she could ask what was wrong, everything went to hell.

The Rotting Man oozed through the doorway, odd little shadowy creatures following behind it, and Namie felt as if her brain was having a stroke. She knew that she was looking at _something_ , but she somehow couldn't figure out what that something was. It appeared to be some sort of humanoid figure, but nothing about it was remotely human. Izaya scrambled backwards, clearly on the verge of hyperventilating. Or, rather, he tried to scramble away, but was impeded by the fact that he only had one properly functioning limb.

"Who the hell are you?" Namie demanded, stepping around her desk and closer to her boss. "What the hell do you want?" The creature did not respond, but Namie got the feeling that it was laughing at her. She felt a hand on her sweater.

"Run," Izaya croaked, face pale. "Please– Namie-san, please get out of here."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded, turning to him. "You sign my paycheck! I'm not just going to–" she stopped, then, because her stomach felt a little odd. It wasn't that time of the month yet, and she'd just eaten, so she couldn't fathom why her stomach was hurting. She looked down, her hand awkwardly wrapping around the strange spike protruding from her abdomen. It was covered in blood. She looked up, meeting Izaya's shocked and horrified gaze as what had happened finally resonated with her. She coughed, and a bit of blood fell from her lips. The Rotting Man yanked the sharp whatever-it-was out of her stomach, and Namie dropped like a rock.

"N-Namie…" the informant choked out, staring at her still form and the blood slowly pooling beneath her. His good arm reached for her, but the Rotting Man was reaching for him.

"Get the hell away from them, you fucker!" Shizuo roared. He exploded into the room, marking the first time Izaya had actually been glad to see him. The Rotting Man didn't even look at him. It lifted Izaya into the air by his throat, while the shadowy creatures swarmed in between them and Shizuo.

"I…" Namie struggled to pick herself up, her long dark hair falling in front of her face. The Rotting Man didn't spare her a glance, and suddenly her body was flying into the bookshelf that had once contained Celty's head. As she slid to the floor, giving up the struggle for consciousness, she felt strong arms wrap around her, and, even with such an awful wound, she thought she might feel… safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The plot chickens! Or thickens, whatever. So… that happened. Yeah, I don't have too much to say here, but I'll get started on chapter seven soon.


	7. A Hole in the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And here we go. By the way, free cookies to anyone who figures out where the chapter titles are coming from. Fair warning, though: this chapter's got a lot of psychological shit, especially where Izaya's concerned, and I'm not a psychologist. Bear with me, people. It gets a little… edgy in this chapter, but I haven't decided whether or not to try writing a full-on rape scene. I'll leave that up to you guys.

When she woke up, the first thing Namie did was regret having woken up at all. Her head – and stomach – throbbed, and it wasn't until she tried to sit up that she remembered there was a hole in her stomach. And then she remembered—

"Izaya!" she gasped, trying and failing to sit up. A large hand on her shoulder stopped her from injuring herself any further.

"Shinra says you probably won't be getting up for a while," Heiwajima Shizuo said quietly. She turned her head to look at him. He was sitting in a chair by her bedside, chin resting on his interlaced fingers. He didn't meet her eyes.

"You saved me," she said, not really sure what else to say. Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I did." He continued to stare at the floor.

"Have you been here this entire time?" she asked. He nodded again. "I see. I'm grateful. Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Shizuo said, scowling suddenly. "I didn't get there fast enough. You nearly died, and Izaya…" he trailed off.

"It's the thought that counts," offered Namie, unused to being nice to anyone other than her beloved Seiji. "The fact that you showed up to help us shows a lot. I mean, well, everyone makes mistakes. You're only human." Shizuo chuckled dryly.

"You aren't like Izaya at all, are you." he mused. Namie shrugged.

"I view that as a good thing." She said flatly. Shizuo's lips twitched. "So, about Izaya… how badly hurt is he?"

"Dunno," Shizuo said quietly. She blinked at him.

"I… beg your pardon?" her eyes narrowed, and Shizuo finally met her sharp chocolate eyes with his own golden ones.

"He's gone," Ikebukuro's God of Destruction (in a Bartender Suit) told her quietly. "That thing took him. I was only able to save you."

"Why didn't you go after him?" Namie demanded. "Who knows what that thing will do to him!"

"I _couldn't_ ," Shizuo protested. "You were _dying_." Namie wanted to yell at him more, she really did, but he looked so miserable that she just couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead, she sighed.

"It's okay," and she's trying to convince herself just as much as she's trying to convince him. "You did what you thought was right. I'll find him, save his pathetic ass, and then kick it. He's going to be fine."

"You really think so?" Shizuo asked, seeming to shrink in on himself. Namie thought that he was probably trying to convince himself of the same thing.

"Of course," she said, brusquely. "He better be, anyway. I need my paycheck."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

He opens his eyes and everything is white. It takes a minute to register and then _oh god please no please not this please god no_ everything clicks. He's back, in the White Room. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. You can't talk in the White Room, he remembers. It's against the rules. You have to obey the rules or else _please someone anyone help me it hurts it hurts I want to die please just kill me already_ you'll have to be punished.

He's naked, but that's nothing new. No clothes in the White Room. That's against the rules too, and breaking the rules means _please stop please please please I'm sorry please let me go leave me alone I'm sorry I'm sorry please_ getting punished, and that's bad. There's nobody else in the White Room, because that defeats the purpose. The only thing in the White Room is him, and the white, and it's _suffocating please god stop it hurts it hurts it hurts why_ because he ran away. Some part of his brain notes that he didn't run away, he was thrown away, like trash, but it doesn't matter and _please no stop it hurts I'm sorry please_ everything is his fault anyhow.

He curls up into a ball and covers his ears to block out the noise. The room is quiet, and it's fucking deafening. He closes his eyes too, because there's nothing to see but white and _please help me please stop hurting me I want to go home stop please I'm sorry_ it makes him feel like he's gone blind, because even being alone in the dark would be better than this (because, in the darkness, at least he can pretend that he isn't being watched).

The hole in the ceiling opens, and he remembers that that's where they used to throw down his food, before he stopped trying to keep himself alive. What falls through isn't food, though. At least, he hopes they don't expect him to eat it, because he isn't Harima Mika and he has no intention of eating anyone's anything.

The eyes of the head are closed, but they manage to stare at him anyway. He knows that the head isn't actually saying anything _help_ because there's no sound in the White Room. He's never stayed in the White Room for more than five days, because he'll inevitably make noise so that they'll drag him out to punish him _kill me please_ and he'd rather hear his own screams than nothing at all. The head is the only thing in the White Room that is not Izaya himself. He stares at it, and he knows it's there to taunt him _please leave me alone go away stop hurting me please_ but he stares at it anyway. A small squeak comes out of his throat before he can stop it, and the next thing he knows is that he's being dragged out of the White Room by his neck and thrown onto a hard wood floor _no please no_ and he knows what's going to happen but _please stop anything but this please it hurts_ he still begs.

Him. Orihara Izaya. Begging. Disgusting. He doesn't stop being disappointed in his weakness until he's forced onto his stomach and his legs are thrust apart.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The gangs are still running rampant. Shizuo noticed it a while ago, and, when Vorona took a little too long getting to work, he got a little nervous.

"What took you?" he asked, coming off a bit more harshly than he meant to.

"Irrelevant," Vorona said simply. "I was distracted by–" she stopped, and a frown crossed her gorgeous face. "I do not recall. Something unimportant,"

"You don't remember?" Tom asked, looking a little confused. "That's a bit unlike you." Shizuo shrugged.

"Everyone has off days, Tom-san," he said, lighting a cigarette.

"You've been having quite a few yourself, lately," Tom noted. "Is everything alright?" Vorona watched Shizuo's face as he looked away.

"I don't really wanna talk about it," he said.

"You can tell us, you know." Tom said. "We're here for you."

"I know." Shizuo said simply, and Vorona ignored the tight feeling in her chest at being part of the 'we'. Tanaka-senpai was there for Shizuo-senpai, but _so was she_. Shizuo-senpai could rely on her, and _he knew that_.

"If you're sure," Tom said, deciding to drop it. It was unlikely that Shizuo would get angry with him, but he thought it best to stay safe.

"Don't worry about me," Shizuo said, lips twitching into a tiny smile that definitely didn't make Vorona's heart skip a beat. "I'll be alright." He rolled his shoulders. "Let's go." Vorona nodded, ignoring Tom's smirk.

" _Someone's got a boyfriend,_ " he murmured. If Vorona had had even a little less self-control, she would probably have killed him. As it was, the punch that met the dark-skinned man's shoulder was certainly going to bruise.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Shizuo next showed up at Shinra's to check on Namie, he found, to his surprise, that someone else was there first.

"Sharaku?" he asked. He hadn't seen the martial artist since she'd dropped out of high school, but he did respect her. He respected all women, of course, but a woman who could sidekick a wall down deserved extra respect.

"Oh, Heiwajima," she nodded at him. "How've you been?"

"Oh, uh, I've been alright." He shifted awkwardly. As much respect has he had for her, she had had an enormous crush on Izaya back in high school, and he wasn't sure how she'd react to the informant's disappearance. "You?"

"No complaints," she replied. "Heard about Izaya." He flinched.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." she gave him the look that girls give right before someone gets hurt. "It wasn't your fault, so blaming yourself is counterproductive. You hate his guts, but you still tried to save him. That's worth something in my book."

"Who told you about the f– uh, Izaya?" Shizuo questioned. Mikage scowled.

" _Not_ Kishitani, which is why he'll soon be conducting surgeries with only one arm," she growled. "I heard from Mairu. She takes lessons at my family's dojo," she added, seeing Shizuo's curious look.

"Ah, I see." There was an awkward silence, which was broken by Namie clearing her throat.

"If I might interrupt?" she said. Both of them turned to her. "I won't ask you to get involved, Heiwajima-san, but I would like to know if you have any idea where my AWOL employer might be." Shizuo shook his head.

"No, I don't." he said quietly. "I was trying to save you, Yagiri-san. I tried to get him back, but that thing just… disappeared." Namie blinked.

"You know my name?" she asked, surprised.

"Shinra told me."

"Ah."

"What do you mean by 'disappeared'?" Mikage asked, looking confused. "I mean, this thing clearly isn't human, but how did it disappear? Maybe we can figure out what it is." Shizuo flushed.

"I didn't see," he admitted. "I just blinked, and it was gone. Izaya looked terrified, though."

"Of course he did!" Mikage snapped. "That… _thing_ did terrible things to him; I'd be scared out of my fucking mind." She glanced at Shizuo, eyes darkening at the guilt on his face. "Stop feeling guilty, Heiwajima." Shizuo couldn't stop a soft snort.

"You think I'm bad?" he asked, amused. "Shinra's barely gotten any sleep, and Celty says he actually almost broke down crying." Namie raised an eyebrow, and Mikage scoffed. "I said _almost_."

"Kishitani doesn't care about Izaya," Mikage said quietly. The harsh look in her eyes had softened. "He doesn't give one single fuck."

"If that were true, why would Izaya stay friends with him?" Shizuo asked. "I don't really see Izaya as the 'friends forever' type anyway." Namie's lips twitched.

"He stays for the same reason I stay with Seiji." The dark-haired woman said, a soft smile emerging from the usually cold face. "He stays for the same reason Kishitani-sensei stays with the Dullahan. He stays for the same reason anyone stays." Mikage nodded.

"To put it plainly, 'the course of true love never did run smooth'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This chapter wasn't as long as I would've liked, but at least it's done. Also, I'm currently working on a Durarara/Black Lagoon crossover. Have you ever wondered what life would be like if Izaya adopted Gretel? You have now! That story will be Izaya/Namie, so anyone who ships that pairing and likes Black Lagoon might want to keep their eyes peeled. Anyhow, back to this story, I hope the addition of Kanra hasn't turned anyone off. I should have apologized for this earlier, but it only recently occurred to me that you guys don't know what's going on in my head. What I will say about Kanra is that her character is relevant to the plot, but I'm not going to ramble on and on about how perfect she is. She's not a Mary-Sue (I hope).
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTICE: Okay, so I usually get really annoyed when authors threaten not to update unless they get X amount of reviews, but I do have to ask you guys to give me some feedback here. Even if it's just, "I like this" or "I hate this". Feel free to request pairings as well – the only pairings I've decided on are Shinra/Celty, Kida/Saki, Seiji/Mika, and probably also Mikado/Anri. As you all should already know, Izaya will either end up with Shizuo or Namie (not both; been there, done that). As you've probably guessed, if the pairing is Izaya/Namie, Shizuo will likely end up with Vorona. I can't say for absolute certain, though. Also, just because one couple has sex, it doesn't mean they'll be together forever. I've never written sex, so I probably won't do anything explicit, but I feel I should warn anyone who dislikes het: Next chapter will have some Kida/Saki action and some Shinra/Celty action, but there will also be some reveal of Izaya and Shinra's relationship. I'm trying to develop all their relationships, but I can't have everybody just decide "fuck it, let's be gay" and call this a story. One last thing: If you've noticed a plot hole, that's fine. I've got a plan (kind of), and everything will be revealed eventually, including why certain characters are acting in certain ways.


	8. Everything But the Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: To all my readers who are also authors – do you remember that feeling when you got what you were certain was the greatest review you would ever receive? It might not have been a particularly good review, or maybe it was just the first one you got – it's different for everyone. However, I have received that review. I am greatly saddened that the person who left this review was anonymous, only calling themselves "Guest", but I would also like to explain why this review was phenomenal: I got feedback. In order to show off this fantabulous review, I'm posting it right here:  
> :I am quite enjoying this :3. I gotta thing for Izaya being tortured though so that's definitely a plus ;}  
> I normally read Shizaya but regardless of which coarse you choose I'll read it as long as you update :)  
> As far as the actual story goes however, I like that you're incorporating so many different characters into it while still keeping it interesting. I can't wait to find out more about the disgusting Rotting Man though *v*  
> See? SEE? FEEDBACK! Granted, there were several spelling and grammar errors ('course', not 'coarse' – 'coarse' is used to describe the texture of something, while 'course' can either be used as a synonym for 'route' or as part of the expression 'of course'), but it doesn't matter, because, not counting the review from Naturesshadows that birthed this story, this is the best review I have ever had. Why, you ask? Well, not only did they tell my that they liked it, they told me why they liked it, dispersed my fear that everyone would stop reading if I chose the wrong end pairing, explained what they were looking forward to, and complimented the part of my writing I also worry about (keeping a story with so many characters interesting). Guest, whoever you are, this chapter is dedicated to you, as well as the person who sent the review in Spanish. My Spanish is awful, but I think I got the gist of it, and I'm very grateful. You're right, though – Vorona does seem a little off. I'll try and fix that. And congratulations for being the first person to guess that there was a connection between Kyōko and the Rotting Man. I won't say whether you're right or not, but it's interesting that someone mentioned it. Oh, and I've started posting this on AO3 (Archive of Our Own), where I got a comment from PendulumDeath. The PendulumDeath. I was so happy I nearly cried. Lastly, Terry Pratchett just died, so this chapter is also dedicated to him.

_“Hey, were you in the same school as Kishitani-kun?”_

_“Yeah, I was. Ah, Orihara-kun, are you in the same class as Kishitani?”_

_“Well, yes.”_

_“That one’s weird, isn’t he? I don’t get what he’s thinking at all.”_

_“I don’t really want to say this since it would sound disparaging… but he doesn’t look like he had a lot of friends.”_

_“I’d say he had none… ah, actually, there was Shizu-chan.”_

_“Shizu-chan?”_ At first, he'd thought that this 'Shizu-chan' was a girl. After all, the girl he had questioned had used 'chan', and she herself was a girl, but he quickly learned that this was not the case.

_“There was this scary guy called Shizuo… He could beat anybody in a fight, and he got mad so easily that everyone kept their distances from him. Only Kishitani would approach him like it was nothing and say things like ‘For once, just let me cut you open!’ I don’t get that guy at all.”_

_“I see. Weird indeed.”_

_“But then that scary guy would at least talk to Shinra normally… but he was really scary. He used to throw a teacher’s desk at people!”_

_“I see. Thank you. That guy sounds dangerous. I hope they’re going to arrest him soon enough.”_ At first, he'd thought that the student meant 'turn upside down', because an elementary school student didn't seem capable of actually throwing a desk. It had never occurred to him that he, Orihara Izaya, and this "very scary guy" would become mortal enemies, constantly at each other's throat.

_"Would it be abnormal to fall in love with a zombie that only has the lower part of its body?"_

_"I think it's fine as long as you think about it as an extreme form of leg fetish."_

_"I see! Never thought of that."_ At first, he hadn't understood what the feeling in his chest was. Soon, however, he learned that it was envy. He had been unable to comprehend it – what did Shinra have that he didn't? From the way the other boy spoke, the object of his affections did not return his feelings. Eventually, Izaya realized that he was jealous of Shinra's complete lack of interest in anything other than his loved one. However, after the incident with Nakura, he'd realized that that feeling was changing. Immediately, he tried to stop it – he'd already decided that getting too close to Shinra was dangerous. Despite Izaya's desperate attempt to remain detached, that feeling was changing.

But it was still envy. He was still jealous – jealous of the person Shinra spent so much time obsessing over. Unable to escape the feeling, he embraced it, burying it deep within his heart so that no one would ever see it. Whoever it was that Shinra loved so much, Izaya decided, was someone he wasn't all that fond of.

At least, until he met her. Even though his feelings for Shinra had corroded his heart beyond recognition, and even though he'd spent days convincing himself that Shinra was just another one of his beloved humans (and he could never, never love anything but a human), Celty Sturluson was impossible to dislike. Even before he knew her name, or that she was a woman, he knew he wasn't going to be able to hate her. And so, he buried the resentment deep down inside of himself, where it joined his twisted love for humans and his resentment towards his parents and the small amount of grief he felt for his deceased maternal grandparents.

By the time he entered high school, Orihara Izaya had destroyed any part of himself that he felt could be considered 'pure'. Everything, that is, except his feelings for Shinra. His grief for his grandparents was all but gone, and he no longer bore any resentment towards his parents, especially since he'd become mature enough to realize that they were only doing what was necessary to provide for the family. His love for humanity had only grown, twisting alongside his personality. He had long since given up on pretending that he saw Shinra as a part of humanity, but it wasn't anything that he felt needed to be addressed. He knew that Shinra would never return his feelings, and he was all right with that. As long as he could be near the other boy, as long as Shinra pretended that he cared, as long as he could get revenge on Nakura, Shinra's complete apathy towards him was irrelevant. After all, if he acknowledged that Shinra didn't give two shits about him, then everything since middle school had been absolutely pointless.

_“No problem. I’ll just enjoy my life as the King of the Biology Room here until Friday comes.”_

_“Watch out for the guillotine. To me you feel like the type who would be easily captured by the populace if you don’t watch out, Izaya.”_

_“How mean of you.”_ But those words had caused Izaya to realize something, namely that Shinra was right. Izaya had completely agreed with those words back then, and he yet to disagree. Yes, unbeknownst to many, Orihara Izaya did not think highly of himself. It was not that he had low self-esteem, but rather he was unable to love himself, as he was unable to visualize himself as a human being. He did not see things the way human beings did, and thus was not human.

If Orihara Izaya was not human, then he was either a monster or a god. He couldn't be a monster, if only out of spite towards Celty, but he didn't think that being a god would be all that bad. It was likely that Izaya himself had yet to realize this, but his goal of becoming god had been completely influenced by discovering that the person Shinra loved was not human. As far as Orihara Izaya was concerned, the only event that had had any impact on his personality was the stabbing incident.

Even now, staring blankly at drying spots of blood on the floor, Orihara Izaya refused to admit that he had changed. He was aware that he had begged (it was just a self-preservation tactic, that's all), he was aware that he had shown weakness in front of his mortal enemy (trying to lower Shizu-chan's guard, that's all), and he was aware that he had been–

Would be–

Was being–

It hurt. He could ramble inside his own mind for as long as he liked, but it would not change what was happening. In all honesty, he wasn't even sure whether he was being beaten or raped or maybe he was just sleeping or maybe none of this was actually happening or maybe–

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

It hurt so fucking much, and there was nothing he could do. His arms felt like noodles, his legs like jelly, his neck like lead. All he could do was wait and pray to the god he didn't believe in that it would all be over soon.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

"Excuse me," Orihara Kyōko turned to face the sweet little girl who had spoken. "I'm looking for my mom–" the girl broke off, scowling. "Oh. It's _you_."

"Indeed," said Kyōko dryly. "Causing trouble again, are we?" the girl snickered, any trace of the adorable child from a moment ago gone.

"You have no faith in me," she chirped.

"Should I?"

"Probably not."

"Well then. I don't care what you do, so long as it doesn't affect myself, my husband, my children, my husband's parents, or any friends of the family."

"Shouldn't be too hard," the girl calling herself Kanra remarked. "Your son doesn't have any friends, and the only person those girls care about other than themselves is that Aoba boy."

"What are you up to?" Kyōko asked. "Don't think I'll let you run rampant."

"You think you can stop me?"

"I think all the worship from the Greeks has gone to your head."

"They don't worship me. They worship _her_. Stop confusing the two of us, it really pisses me off."

"Behave yourself, Kallisti."

"Whatever."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The old woman was sitting in a café, quietly sipping her tea. At first glance, she was a normal old woman, with a liking for tea. At second glance– actually, if you looked more than once, it was almost certainly because you had recognized her on the first glance.

The years had been kind to Orihara Natsu, and she felt as young as she ever had. She did not particularly consider herself beautiful, though. As far as Natsu was concerned, outer beauty was a blessing and inner beauty was a sign of character. It would be no stretch of the truth to say that Natsu considered herself ugly, but it would be untrue to claim that she disliked herself for it.

The man sitting across from her was equally old, but time had apparently not been as generous, for he was in a wheelchair. The few people still alive who would recognize him, however, would likely not consider the wheelchair important. In fact, Orihara Torakichi had been paralyzed from the waist down for most of his adult life.

"Izaya's gone missing," said Natsu simply. Torakichi shook his head.

"That boy…" he murmured. "Always getting himself into trouble."

"Just like us," Natsu mused. She smiled. "I can still remember the first time we met, almost as if it were yesterday…" Her husband's eyes sparkled, and he smiled as well.

"I can still feel that knife sliding through my skin," he murmured to her. She shuddered, almost as if frightened, but the smile on her face had not disappeared. "I can still feel the blood gushing out, spilling onto you."

"I remember," Natsu breathed. "I remember your katana piercing my flesh, right through my kidney. I almost died."

"So did I, my love." Their conversation was hushed, but had anyone overheard, it was likely that they would begin to feel sick, not just because of the words pouring from the mouths of the old couple, but from the smiles on their faces.

Both the old man and the old woman's smiles were downright deadly.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

 _Ding-dong_. Heiwajima Shizuo blinked at the sound of the doorbell. The only people who would bother to visit him were Tom-san, Kasuka, Vorona, and Celty, all of whom were fully aware that he didn't care if they rang or not (though Tom-san and Vorona likely would, regardless). The problem was that it didn't make sense for any of those people to be at his house at the moment. When he didn't immediately respond, the person started to knock, and then they started to beg.

"Please!" it was a woman. "Please, Shizuo-san, please help us! We were attacked, and Yūhei-san hit his head, and I don't have Kishitani-sensei's number, so please let me in! He won't wake up!" Shizuo practically teleported to the front door, swinging it open. Hijiribe Ruri stood there, tears streaming down her face, an unconscious Kasuka hefted over her shoulder. It was apparent in an instant why Ruri had not gone to a hospital – a woman as small as she should not be able to pick up someone nearly a head taller.

"Come in." Shizuo said, standing aside. Kasuka's injuries didn't look too serious, and while he was still worried, panicking would probably just worsen things. "Take him to the couch. I'll call Shinra." A few minutes later, Ruri was sitting across from Shizuo, looking ashamed, the both of them casting worried looks at Kasuka while they waited for Shinra to arrive.

"I–" Ruri began, but Shizuo cut her off.

"Wait until Shinra's here to make sure Kasuka's okay," he said simply. "I'm not going to really care until then." Ruri nodded, looking down at her lap. There was complete silence until Shinra came.

"It looks like he'll be alright," the doctor said. "But he shouldn't be straining himself for a while; he's got a pretty nasty concussion. Wake him up at least once an hour, and make sure he hasn't gone into a coma, alright?" Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, no problem."

"I can do it," Ruri offered. The two men glanced at her. "It was my fault, so it's only fair if I–"

"Did you do this?" Shizuo asked. Ruri blinked.

"No, of course not." She replied, more than a little startled.

"Then, did you arrange for it to happen?"

"No."

"Then it's not your fault."

"It is!" the idol protested. "Those men were after me!" She felt tears well up in her eyes again as she took a deep breath to continue. "Because of me, Yūhei-san was injured!" Shizuo stared at her for a moment.

"…I don't believe you," he said simply. Ruri started to explain, but Shinra's laughter cut her off.

"Ruri-chan, you're never going to change his mind on this," Shinra told her.

"If they hit him in the head, they were trying to kill him," Shizuo stated. "If that's the case, then you saved his life. It's hard to believe that anyone aside from a manga villain would save the life of someone they tried to kill. All that matters now is finding the people who did this and ripping their heads off." Shinra's smile slipped away as he stared at his old friend.

"You know, Shizuo-kun, you don't seem very angry," the doctor commented.

"I don't _feel_ very angry," Shizuo agreed. "I guess I'm just so pissed off that I can't even feel it anymore." He stood up. "So, here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna find Izaya-kun, punch him in the face, drag him back here, make him tell me who attacked Kasuka and Ruri, make him tell me where I can find them, and then murder the shit out of them. And, once Izaya's all better, I'm gonna kill him too."

"Well, at least you know how to plan ahead," Shinra quipped. "But we have absolutely no idea where Orihara-kun is." Ruri stood as well, not entirely sure what they were talking about.

"I'll help you," she said. Shizuo shook his head.

"Actually, I was going to ask for a favor," he admitted. She tilted her head.

"What is it?"

"I need you to protect Izaya's little sisters," Shizuo explained. "The fuckers that attacked him already went after his secretary, so it's possible they'll go after the twins as well. Assuming that the people after you and the people after him are two different groups, it's likely they'll view each other as enemies, but I'd like to make sure the twins are safe, just in case."

"I didn't know you were such a straight thinker," Shinra commented. "You're a whole different person when you're not rampaging like an angry hippo."

"How will you get them over here?" Ruri asked. Shizuo sighed.

"Kasuka," he told his unconscious brother. "I'm really, really sorry about this." The debt collector reached into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and dialed a number.

"Hi, you've reached Orihara Mairu," a young girl's voice chirped. "I'm not here at the moment, so please leave a message at the sound of the beep! BEEP!"

"Nice try, Mairu," Shizuo said flatly.

"Oh, pooh! Iza-nii never falls for that either!" Mairu scolded.

"…Shameful (you could at least pretend)…" Kururi mumbled.

"Listen up, you two," Shizuo said. "You probably know this already, but you're kind of in a lot of danger right now. I need you to come over to my house."

"Trying to bring two teenage girls to your home? How shameful!" Mairu declared. "What's in it for us?"

"Other than staying alive?" Shizuo asked. "You know your brother disappeared again, right? Aren't you a little worried?"

"Well…" A hand took the phone from Shizuo, cutting off the rest of Mairu's undoubtedly snarky response.

"Is this Orihara Mairu and Orihara Kururi?" Kasuka asked.

"Y-Yūhei-san?" Mairu gasped.

"Yes. I'm at my brother's place right now. I've heard quite a bit about you two, and it'd be nice to finally meet face to face."

"We'll be there in just a moment, Yūhei-san!" Mairu declared.

"Wonderful. I can't wait to meet you two," Kasuka's false smile faded as he hung up and lay back down. "I hope that was all right, nii-san." He said, reverting to his default poker face.

"Yūhei-san!" Ruri gasped. "I'm so sorry, I–"

"Ruri-san," Kasuka interrupted. "You have nothing to apologize for. Please don't cry." He reached up to her face, tracing the wet tear streaks on her cheeks. "I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you're so much prettier when you smile."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

_Confused eyes opening what's going on where am I who are these people what is that thing my head hurts gotta get out of here running run faster legs hurt what happened what on earth where when how what why who hurts everything hurts gotta get out of here gotta get away someone help me help me please I'm scared_

Clutching the blanket around his naked form, the boy looks around for a place to rest his burning muscles. Fear flickers through red eyes, and the child wonders exactly where he is – it certainly _looks_ like Ikebukuro, but something just doesn't feel right. Perhaps he's in another part of Toshima? Too tired to think, go to sleep, figure it out in the morning. The boy curls up in a trash heap and, ignoring the smell, falls asleep in an instant. His name is Orihara Izaya, and he is eight years old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, that happened. Bet you didn't see that coming! Or maybe you did, what the hell do I know. Also, someone asked if I was naming the chapters after Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel episodes. The answer: some of them. The first chapter title was my own, the second was a really bad pun, the third and fifth are Buffy references, the seventh is an Angel reference, the sixth is a Puella Magi Madoka Magica reference, the eighth (this one) and the title of the whole story are references to Bleach, and the fourth is both a reference to the Angel episode "The Thin Dead Line" as well as the book that that episode was referencing, "The Thin Red Line". Well, I'm glad I finished this chapter up.
> 
> Out of curiosity, if I were to write a manga/light novel, would anyone here read it? Ah, well, I'm too sad about Terry Pratchett to be worried about that right now. Anyhow, about Natsu and Torakichi: I won't describe them in detail, seeing as all that really matters is that they're old and probably crazy. I'll just say right now that, as much as I would love to include every single wonderful character from Narita-sensei's work, I doubt any of them will really be showing up here aside from vague references. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'd like to let you know that I've also begun posting it on AO3 (Archive of Our Own) in case you'd rather read it there.
> 
> Finally, I'd like to let you know that I'm going to include as many Durarara characters as possible, which means there will be spoilers for the novels and season two of the anime, and yes, we will be seeing characters like Yodogiri, Kujiragi, Kine, Eiji and Mikage, Izumii, Earthworm, and so on and so forth. I know I already said it, but I'll say it again, just in case. HERE BE SPOILERS.


	9. Temporal Stasis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I've been getting a lot of feedback on this story, and I'd just like to say: I love you guys. Seriously. Also, I am now Typo Buddies with PendulumDeath, because we're both awesome. Anyway, I'm really glad that so many people like this story, and I'm also glad that people seems to be enjoying A Fate Worse Than Death, though I can't say when the next chapter of that will be out. I'm becoming popular, and that makes me happy~ that, and I'm listening to the Attack on Titan theme song right now. Also, just in case anyone reading this story was a fan of one of my old stories, I'm currently rewriting The Silence and the Fury. It will be titled Sister Wicked, and – fair warning – it's going to be pretty different from the first version. The next chapter of Acnologia is Not Your Father is being worked on, but it's one of those stories that will literally go on until either my life ends or my Funny Fountain runs dry. I've hit a bit of a roadblock with My Lawyer, but it's not going to be discontinued. There WILL be at least twenty chapters, dammit! Also, once I've started, edited, finished, and posted Wishes for William (which WILL take a while), I'll probably hold another contest and take another request. Lastly, I'm also working on a story called I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault, which is a Durarara/Harry Potter crossover. Why am I working on so many stories at once, you ask? I guess LegendofMajora is rubbing off on me.

Kasuka stared at the two girls across from him, both of whom were blushing, though only one was looking straight at him. His smile was starting to hurt his cheeks, and he absently wondered how much longer he'd be holding this particular expression. The twin with braids kept glancing between her idol and her knees, while the quieter girl seemed to be having a stare-off with Ruri.

"I-it's very nice to meet Yūhei-san!" the braided twin – Mairu – exclaimed suddenly, bowing deeply.

"…Nice (it's a pleasure)…" added Kururi, not breaking eye contact with Ruri.

"Yes, it's nice to meet the two of you as well," said Kasuka, wondering what exactly the two were expecting him to do. "I'm sorry that our meeting couldn't have occurred under better circumstances." Mairu's blush deepened.

"No problem at all!" she declared. "I'll protect you, Yūhei-san!"

"Ruri-san (Yūhei-san is dating Ruri-san)… nice (she's not too bad, I suppose)…" Kururi murmured, finally looking away from Ruri, who absently wondered if she had just taken a test.

"Really?" Mairu looked slightly disappointed. "Oh well. Yūhei-san, Ruri-san is really important to you, yeah?" Kasuka nodded.

"Yes." he said. "Ruri-san is my special person." Ruri blushed. Mairu crossed her arms decisively.

"Alright then!" she chirped. "I'll protect both of you, and I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to break you two up!"

"I'm very grateful," Kasuka told her. "But I don't want you two to get hurt either, so make sure to protect yourselves as well, alright? I doubt your brother would be pleased if he got back and found out that one or both of you got hurt."

" _If_ he gets back," said Mairu nonchalantly. "He might be dead already."

"You shouldn't say things like that," Ruri spoke up. "Family is very important." Kasuka nodded. Mairu shrugged.

"Oh, Iza-nii's important to us, but it's not like it'd be shocking if he died," she explained. "If he did, we'd probably feel sad for a bit, but then we'd laugh at him for being dumb enough to get killed by Shizuo-san." Kasuka's expression didn't change, but the three girls got the impression that he was frowning.

"I don't think nii-san would kill someone," he said. "Definitely not on purpose, anyhow."

"True," Mairu nodded agreeably. "Except that Iza-nii isn't a person. Not to Shizuo-san, anyway. Besides, who else would kill him?" It was probably meant as a joke, but nobody felt like laughing.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The old couple walked (rolled, in the old man's case) into Russia Sushi, chatting amicably. As soon as Dennis spotted them, he ushered them to the back room and put up a closed sign. As soon as Simon waved off the last of the customers, the two Russians practically teleported into the back room, any trace of humor gone.

" _What are you doing here?_ " Dennis demanded, skipping straight into Russian.

" _My grandson seems to have wandered off,_ " Orihara Natsu said, never losing her kind 'little old lady' smile. " _We were wondering if you might know where he went._ " Torakichi nodded.

" _A bit upset, loss of grandson,_ " he said. Unlike his wife and grandson, Orihara Torakichi was not talented in the art of speaking Russian, though he could understand it without any problems.

" _Natalia,_ " Simon spoke up. " _I'm afraid I don't understand why you thought it would be a good idea to come to us._ " the old woman shrugged.

" _Just a hunch,_ " she replied. " _By the way, Samiya, I go by 'Natsu' nowadays._ "

" _And I by Simon_ ," the African-American-Russian said coolly.

" _Terms of address, irrelevant._ " Said the old man. " _Location of grandson, top priority._ " Dennis shrugged.

" _No clue,_ " he responded. " _Look, if we find anything, we'll let you know_." Natsu nodded, determination glinting in her dark eyes.

" _We'll hold you to that._ "

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The little boy lay curled up on a trash bag, shivering. He was naked, save for the much-too-big jacket he was using as a blanket, and he was also lost. More importantly, however, he was terrified.

After waking up from his impromptu nap, the boy had scrounged around to see if he could find a clue as to where he was. All he found, however, was a dirty newspaper. It wasn't the newspaper itself that concerned the boy, but rather the date printed on the newspaper. December 12th, 2004. This could not be right. After all, the boy was only eight, not twenty-five! He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, but he doubted that he had survived unconscious and without food, water, or aid for seventeen years. He had no idea what to do, where to go, what had happened, or even–

"You are lost, yes?" a cheerful voice called. The boy shot up, clutching the jacket to his small body. A woman with short blonde hair and kind blue eyes was smiling at him. Her Japanese was poor, but the boy felt relief wash over him as he recognized the accent.

" _Yes. I'm lost._ " He replied, a little scared. The woman looked kind, but people weren't always honest. In fact, people were very rarely honest. The woman looked delighted.

" _Oh, you speak Russian?_ " she chirped. " _That's wonderful! I'm sorry if my Japanese isn't the best, but I didn't expect someone as young as you to be bilingual._ "

" _Multilingual,_ " the boy corrected her. " _My grandmother made sure I knew English as well as Russian and Japanese._ " The woman clapped, impressed.

" _Very good!_ " she exclaimed. " _My name is Siri. And who might you be, little one?_ " the boy looked hesitant, so the woman waved off the question. " _Never mind that, I'm sure you've been told not to talk to strangers._ " The boy nodded.

" _You seem nice, but I don't know for sure,_ " he explained.

" _What would you like to be called?_ " Siri asked. The boy chewed on his lip, thinking it over. " _How about… I know! Does 'Hiro' sound good?_ " the newly dubbed Hiro nodded.

" _Yeah, that works._ " He watched the woman carefully.

" _Now then,_ " Siri clapped her hands together and knelt down to meet the boy's eyes. " _Being naked can't be comfortable. Would you like me to find you some clothes?_ "

" _I…_ " Hiro hesitated, unsure. He wasn't entirely comfortable with accepting charity, but he also wasn't an idiot. " _Yes, please. Thank you._ " Siri beamed.

" _Wonderful!_ " she chirped. " _You look half-starved as well. I'll grab you some clothes first, and then I'll get you something to eat, all right?_ " Hiro thought about it.

" _Alright,_ " he agreed. He didn't fully trust this woman, but he was lost and alone and hungry and cold, and an ally would be very useful right now. Siri rushed off, and, in just a few minutes, popped back.

" _I live nearby,_ " she explained. Hiro nodded, accepting the clothes that were offered to him. " _A boy in my apartment complex is about your size, so I asked his mother if I could borrow some of his clothes. I'll wait outside for you to finish getting dressed, all right?_ " He nodded again, looking at the clothes. They weren't top-notch or anything, but they were better than expected – certainly better than anything he owned, though that was mostly because he didn't think it made sense to spend too much money on clothes.

" _I'm done,_ " Hiro said, walking out of the alley. Siri smiled, and offered him her hand. After a moment's hesitation, he took it.

" _There's a place nearby called 'Russia Sushi',_ " Siri told him. " _We can talk while we eat, if you like. Or not – it's up to you._ " Hiro's lips turned up slightly.

" _Thank you._ "

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

"Excuse me," Vorona turned around, surprised that someone had managed to sneak up on her. _Have I gotten sloppy?_

"Yes?" the woman sighed, and Vorona took a moment to analyze her. She wasn't a very big person – only about a couple inches taller than Vorona– but she held herself in a manner that only another warrior could recognize. Vorona felt a tiny smile curve onto her face at the prospect of a fight.

"I'm looking for Heiwajima Shizuo," the woman said bluntly. "You work with him, right?" Vorona nodded.

"Affirmative. Current location is unknown. Apologies." The woman looked at her for a second, and then sighed.

"You got left behind, huh?" she murmured. Vorona's smile disappeared.

"Negative. Presence was not required. Therefore, no request for my person."

"I see." The woman looked at the sky, and then at the ground. "That's the problem with guys, you know?" she said suddenly. "Always forgetting about the people that care about them. I'm Sharaku Mikage, by the way."

"Vorona." The two women looked at each other. To an average bystander, it simply seemed like a conversation between two women. To a warrior, however, there was tension in the air. Suddenly, Mikage laughed.

"Wanna go get something to drink?" she offered. Vorona thought about it.

"I affirm." She decided. "Drinks, acceptable." And with that, the two warrior women wandered off, with a promising night of half-drunken sparring ahead.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Watching her boyfriend laughing with his friends, Saki wondered if she should be feeling jealous. After all, only a couple months ago, when she was still in the hospital, Masaomi had been telling her all about his little love triangle with Mikado and Anri. If Saki were anyone else, she'd probably despise the bespectacled girl. Anri was prettier than her, smarter than her, nicer than her, had bigger breasts, had the whole megane thing going for her, and had a very nice smile.

It wasn't that Saki thought poorly of herself – she knew her flaws, but she also knew her strengths. She was sneakier than Anri, much more honest, infinitely more clever (there was a difference between being smart and being clever), could be very persuasive without having to use her body, was more resourceful, and was capable of defending herself without supernatural powers. Granted, she wasn't too strong in the area of self-defense, but she could fend for herself.

However, Saki felt no resentment towards Anri. In fact, she and the other girl had quite a bit in common. Anri had depended on Harima Mika, while Saki had depended on Orihara Izaya. Anri's father had abused her, and Saki's parents weren't top notch either. Anri had found a caretaker in Akabayashi Mizuki of the Awakusu group, while Saki's guardian was Izaya. Most importantly, however, both of them cared for Masaomi, albeit in different ways.

Saki laughed as she watched Masaomi teasing his well-endowed friend, who looked half-uncertain, half-amused. She blinked as she felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned her head to meet Mikado's cautious blue eyes.

"Is this alright with you?" he asked uncertainly. "Masaomi flirting with Sonohara-san, I mean." Saki giggled.

"I don't mind," she said. "I'm the one Masaomi loves, after all. Even so, I wouldn't want him to get rid of a piece of his personality – I love him for who he is, enormous flirt or not. If he wants to date other girls, that's completely fine, because he'll always come back to me." Mikado frowned.

"That doesn't sound very healthy," he pointed out. Saki shrugged.

"He wouldn't do that," she assured him. "Flirting and dating are two different things. Besides, one could argue that love in general isn't healthy. It causes people to do irrational things. You know that very well yourself, right?" Mikado nodded.

"I'm guessing you know all about it," he said simply. "The Dollars, that is. I assume Izaya-san told you." Saki laughed again, shaking her head.

"Not at all," she smiled warmly at him. "I did my own research. Izaya-san is only human – he can't be everywhere at once. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I couldn't figure out that much, you know."

"I guess so," Mikado watched her carefully. "I'm sorry for acting so paranoid."

"Don't worry about it," Saki's smile hadn't faded, leaving Mikado to wonder if perhaps she had some sort of magical power that kept her cheek muscles from feeling pain. "After all, I'm affiliated with Izaya-san. You aren't under any obligations to like me, and it's perfectly reasonable to be paranoid of someone so creepy."

"I don't think you're creepy," Mikado told her, looking surprised. She studied his face for a moment, and then nodded.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't," she agreed. "You're far more creepy than I am."

"Mikajima-san is a very blunt person," Mikado murmured. She shrugged.

"I am who I am, and that's all I can ever hope to be." she said. "Besides, I think I should be asking you that."

"Asking me what?" Mikado stepped back as Saki's grin turned mischievous.

"Aren't _you_ jealous that Masaomi is the one flirting with Sonohara-san?" she teased. Mikado flushed even redder than Anri, and Masaomi slung his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

"That's right, Mikado!" He declared. "Haven't you made a move yet?"

"I keep telling you, it's not like that!"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Heiwajima Shizuo was out for blood. His brother had been injured, his potential future sister-in-law had been reduced to tears, Izaya had been kidnapped, Yagiri-san had a hole in her stomach that would likely never fully heal, and the damn flea's scent was all but gone. In short, he was more than a little annoyed.

Contributing to that annoyance was the fact that, as soon as he turned the corner, one of those shadowy things that had probably kidnapped Izaya darted out from behind a trash can and stabbed him. Shizuo yanked out the blade, tossed it to the side, and punched the shadow creature so hard into a wall that it exploded on contact, with little bits of shadow goop landing everywhere. It then promptly pulled itself back together and ran off. Shizuo chased after it, mostly because he was hoping this creature might know where to find Izaya, but also because it had stabbed him and made him use violence.

Shizuo chased the god-only-fucking-knows-what-that-thing-is across half of Shinjuku before it slithered under a dumpster and disappeared. In anger, he smashed the dumpster in half, not surprised to see nothing but sidewalk where logic dictated that the creature should be. Shizuo scowled. These things reminded him of Izaya – no matter how hard he hit them, they just didn't stay the fuck down.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Shinra sighed. Namie had, with but a little "assistance" (read: drugs), fallen asleep, and now he and Celty could have some alone time. Or so he thought, but Shiki had other ideas – with Izaya gone AWOL, Celty was needed more than ever, and most of her jobs had been coming from the Awakusu-kai. This particular job involved chasing down Hijiribe Ruri's stalker, who had apparently been spotted heading towards Toshima. Since Ruri herself was in Ikebukuro, Shiki had assumed that the stalker had his sights set there, and had thus sent Celty to patrol the city, leaving Shinra all by himself (with Namie sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms).

Tilting his head back, Shinra stared at the ceiling and decided that either this stalker guy was threatening some part of the Awakusu-kai's business, or they were hunting him to spite Yodogiri Jinnai, who had apparently been affiliated with him and had gotten on the Awakusu-kai's bad side sometime back. Most importantly, however, it felt like his beloved Celty had been gone for _hours_.

Hearing soft footsteps coming down the hall, Shinra's heart leapt.

"Celty!" he cried, racing for the door. He would hold open for her, so she could see that he was a proper gentleman. "My love! You've returned to me!" He flung open the door, beaming. It wasn't Celty, and Shinra's euphoric mood disappeared instantly. "Can I help you?" he asked.

The man just grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And that's all for now. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Haha, that was a lie. I'm not sorry at all. So, for those who have read the novels (or just read whatever wiki/TV tropes article you could), try not to spoil who this guy is, though I'm sure you've all guessed already. On another note, who was expecting Siri to show up? In almost every story where Izaya needs help, it's always Shizuo or, more rarely, Celty saving him. But I had an opening where he could be helped by someone that no one would expect, so I took it. As for Natsu, the name Simon calls her ("Natalia") was not intentionally inspired by the Black Widow, but it might have been a subconscious inspiration or something. Either way, that's the only Russian female name that starts with "N" that I could think of off the top of my head. So that's her name. Because fuck it. Anyhow, I feel like I should warn everyone – I have decided that, if I chose to involve sex in this story, the first lemon will be between Kida and Saki. It won't happen for a while though. However, since I know that there are Saki haters out there, I think I should just let y'all know that she's a major character next chapter.
> 
> I have seen Simon's real name, Семён (I think), written as "Samiya", "Semyon", and "Seymon". I'm not Russian, I don't speak Russian, and I don't know which of the three is correct. I will look into it, and, should I find irrefutable proof that my way of spelling is incorrect, I will go back and fix it. I love you all.


	10. Six Steps Sideways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm super tired. I should totally be working, but I'm writing this instead. I fail at life. Oh well. I'm currently working on chapter two of 'A Fate Worse Than Death', and I've just posted my HP/DRRR crossover. I'm probably going to put stuff up on AO3, but I can't say for sure when everything will be up there, as some of it isn't available at the moment. Anyway, I've gotten confirmation that Simon's name is indeed Semyon, so I'll go back and change that at some point. I would like to thank the following people for being super special awesome and giving me so much feedback and support: PD-8, JillianWatson1058, c-antonella, Iany-chan, Naturesshadows, InvisibleWordsinBlack, EurekaXUzumaki, chairo, and all the Guests and anons that reviewed. I'm extremely grateful and I love you guys.

_He's four years old and he isn't sure why Babushka and Ojii-chan are here instead of Mommy and Daddy._

_He's seven years old and wondering why Babushka is so determined to get him to learn self-defense._

_He's nine years old and Ojii-chan is teaching him to throw knives at red and white targets painted on trees._

_He's ten years old and Mommy and Daddy come home with two little baby girls, who look more like Daddy than he does (he looks more like Mommy)._

_He's thirteen years old and watching his only friend in the world bleeding out on the floor and he offers to take the blame and get revenge._

_He's fifteen years old and he's running from the blond boy who doesn't like him and can pick up impossibly heavy things._

_He's seventeen years old and Mikage has dropped out of high school, and he's pretty sure that it's his fault._

_He's nineteen years old and in college and it's pretty boring and he'll never admit it but he misses Shinra._

_He's twenty-two years old and graduating and he's half proud of himself and half disappointed because nobody who came to the ceremony came for him._

_He's twenty-three years old and looking at Saki's unconscious body and wondering if maybe he feels a little guilty about this._

_He's twenty-four years old and Simon punches him in the face and lectures him and he wonders when exactly Simon started to care and why he bothered._

_He's twenty-five years old and in the hospital thanks to Yodogiri and it hurts a lot more than he cares to admit that Shinra didn't bother to visit._

_He's twenty-five years old and his head hurts and everything's fuzzy and all he knows is that somehow he's been kidnapped._

_He's twenty-five years old and he doesn't know why they're hurting him because he's never seen people – creatures – like this before in his life._

_He's twenty-five years old and he wonders if maybe this is how people feel right before they commit suicide and isn't that just hilariously ironic._

_He's eight years old and lost and terrified and cold and hungry and naked and tired and alone and thirsty and–_

_He's eight years old and there's a woman holding his hand and whispering comforting things and feeding him even though she doesn't even know his name._

_He's eight years old and he isn't so scared anymore._

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

He'd never had a friend before. The recently dubbed "Hiro" sent a nervous look at the woman holding his hand, and she smiled back down at him. They had stopped outside a restaurant called 'Russia Sushi', and Hiro couldn't help but feel a little scared.

"Everything is OK, yes?" Siri asked, looking concerned. Hiro nodded, unsure of why this place seemed so familiar. It certainly hadn't been here before, though 'before' was apparently synonymous with '1987', which Hiro was having a hard time getting through his head. "Very good. No worry about people here, OK? All are nice and friendly. No one hurt you."

"I… all right," Hiro chewed on his lower lip as he allowed Siri to lead him into the restaurant. Inside, they were greeted by a large black man who showed them to a table. He had an intimidating stature but a kind smile. Hiro smiled nervously at him in return. Siri greeted the man on friendly terms (she called the man 'Semyon'), but, even though he doubted that the man would hurt him, he was thankful that Siri didn't let go of his hand until they were seating down.

" _What would you like_?" Siri asked, reverting back to Russian. If Hiro hadn't grown up in a house where English, Russian, and Japanese were all used interchangeably, sometimes all in one sentence, and blended together to form their own crazy language, he probably would have been startled by the sudden switch.

" _Uh… I'm not picky_ ," he mumbled. She just laughed and repeated her question. Flushing, he glanced down at his menu again. " _Maybe…_ Maguro _, please? Or_ tekka maki _, I guess_." She smiled.

" _You like tuna, huh_?" she teased. He nodded. " _That's good. I was scared you'd ask for ice cream_." Hiro shook his head.

" _No, I'm not all that fond of sweets_ ," he admitted. " _I like fruit more than candy_."

" _That's good_ ," Siri told him. " _You'll be healthy and happy_!" he nodded.

" _That's what Babushka said_ ," he remembered. She had said that when he was five, what felt like three years ago but was apparently more like twenty.

" _So, do you want to tell me how you ended up in that alley_?" Siri asked. Hiro shrugged one shoulder, looking down.

" _I don't remember_ ," he replied. " _I was running from something, but I don't remember what or why_." The large man arrived at their table, interrupting their conversation.

"You are ready to order, yes?" he said cheerfully. Siri nodded.

"Yes!" she chirped. "I wish to eat _oo-nah-gee_ , and Hiro says tuna!"

"What kind?" the large man turned to face the small boy. "We have _oh-toe-roh_ and _maa-goo-roh_ and _teh-kah-maa-kee_." Hiro blinked.

"Uh, I don't know what that first one is," he confessed.

"In English, it's 'fatty tuna'," Siri explained, in English. " _Is that better_?" she switched to Russian, and Hiro grinned. _This_ , he could do.

"Yeah, that helps a lot," he said cheerfully. " _I'm really grateful for this, Miss Siri._ Thanks so much for everything." The large man laughed.

" _You speak a lot of languages_ ," he said, amused. " _You've got a good sense of humor, too. Reminds me of_ –" he cut himself off, looking a little saddened.

" _If you're talking about_ Izaya _, then don't look so sad_ ," an older (and whiter) man said, walking up behind the large black man.

"Izaya?" Hiro asked, fingers tensing. "That's an odd name."

"And an odd guy," the new man responded. His Japanese was much better than the first man's. "He was kind of an asshole. He disappeared a couple months ago. If you ask me, we're better off without him. Simon here thinks otherwise, though." The big man – Simon – shook his head gravely.

"Ee-zah-yah not nice person," he announced. "But he no as horrible as Dennis say." Dennis, who must have been the other man, just sighed.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Just take their order."

"You try _oh-toe-roh_ ," Simon suggested. "I make cheap, just for you. _Oh-toe-roh_ is very good. You try, yes?" Hiro glanced at Siri, who nodded encouragingly.

"Alright, I'll try that," he decided. Simon clapped.

"Very good!" he declared. "Sushi ready soon, OK?" Hiro nodded and turned back to Siri.

" _Do you know this_ Izaya _guy_?" he asked quietly. She shook her head.

" _I've heard of him, but I don't know him personally_ ," she said. " _Why are you so curious_?" Hiro shifted uncomfortably.

" _It's an odd name, that's all_ ," he murmured. " _Foreign, for_ Isaiah _, so it's probably in katakana, but… it's just a strange name, you know_?" Siri nodded.

" _It is rather odd_ ," she admitted. " _However, even more odd is that it isn't spelled in katakana – it's in kanji. I've seen his name written on take-out slips at this store. It's written with characters I'm not too familiar with, though. It certainly doesn't look like it should be pronounced_ 'Ee-zah-yah' _, but I couldn't say for certain_."

" _Do you have a pen I could borrow_?" Hiro asked, reaching for his napkin. Siri dug around in her purse, and handed him one. Carefully, Hiro sketched out the familiar characters on the napkin. 臨也. " _Like this, right_?" Siri leaned over.

" _Yes, I think so_." She agreed. Hiro nodded sagely.

" _Yeah, that's pretty odd_ ," he explained. " _See,_ 臨 _means 'overlooking', and_ 也 _is mostly used in Chinese, I think. This should probably be read as_ 'Rinya' _or maybe as_ 'Nozo-ya' _. I couldn't say why it's not_." Siri looked at him.

" _Do you know this _Izaya _guy_?" she sent his question back at him. Hiro paused.

" _Might've met him once_ ," he allowed. She gazed at him skeptically.

" _You should stay away from him_ ," she warned. " _He's a dangerous man_." Hiro swallowed the lump in his throat.

" _Yeah_ ," he managed. " _I'll do that_."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Raising her fist, the girl in white knocked on the door again, frowning.

"I'm sure someone's home," she told her quiet boyfriend. "Kishitani-sensei told me he didn't have any plans for the day, so we can visit Onee-sama."

"Kishitani-sensei?" the boy called. "Are you in? I'd like to visit Nee-san."

"Kishitani-sensei?" the girl joined in. "Celty-san? Onee-sama?" There was no response. The boy's eyes narrowed.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," he murmured. A look of resolve settled across his face, and he took a step back. "Mika, get away from the door."

"Whatever you say, Seiji-san!" Mika beamed. Seiji took another step back, and then launched himself at the door with as much force as he could. The couple heard a cracking sound, and Seiji pulled back to try again. The door to Shinra's house was not an expensive one, as Shizuo continuously broke them. Rather than trying to contain his friend's temper, Shinra had simply decided to buy cheaper doors so that Shizuo wouldn't feel so bad when he broke them.

"Sorry about this, Kishitani-sensei," Seiji took another step back, and ran towards the door. The sound of splintering wood resounded in his ears, and a couple of splinters went into his arm. Seiji grimaced. He was definitely going to have a bruise. Stepping inside, he turned back around to open what was left of the door for his girlfriend.

"Thanks, Seiji-san!" Mika skipped into the doctor's house, smiling. At that moment, the two of them heard a crashing sound, and Seiji stepped protectively in front of his girlfriend. Mika's face flushed. Granted, he wasn't protecting _her_ , but…

"Kishitani-sensei?" Seiji called. A couple of pens appeared in his hand, and Mika's cell phone appeared in hers. Carefully, the pair turned the corner.

Never in his life had Seiji been so glad that he had broken down a door.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Mikajima Saki was not a stupid person. She was not as smart as Anri or Mikado, and certainly not as smart as Izaya-san, but she had her own form of intelligence that even Izaya-san could not match. More importantly, she knew when her presence was making things awkward.

"I've got a couple things to do," she announced. "Take care of Masaomi for me, will you?" All three of them seemed to figure out what she was saying.

"You don't have to go!" Mikado protested. "I'd really like to get to know you better!" Anri nodded, and Masaomi looked nervously between his best friend, girlfriend, and… he wasn't really sure what Anri was to him, but she was important.

"I know that," Saki smiled at them. "But you guys need some time to catch up, so I'll just have to get to know Mikado and Anri later."

"Saki…" Masaomi's voice was quiet, but sincere.

"I know," she said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "But right now, you need to spend time with your friends. And that doesn't include me." She laughed. "I said that before, right? That only Masaomi can reconnect with his friends." He nodded, but there was no smile on his face.

"Saki…" he said. "Before you go…" she turned to him, wondering what was up with the pauses. He finally met her eyes, and she saw it – fear. No, not fear, not exactly; more like worry. He was worried. "Promise me you'll be careful." It wasn't a question, and Saki smiled.

"Of course," she said. "I think Namie-san must be bored, so I'll go keep her company." She kissed him again, on the lips this time, and turned to go.

"One moment," Saki turned yet again to meet Mikado's face. He looked very serious, but still naïve, and she though maybe she understood why Masaomi had been so desperate to never let him see the darker side of Ikebukuro. "Mikajima-san, while I'm sure you're already aware of this, Izaya-san is part of the Dollars." She nodded, and he continued. "I may not be all that fond of him, but whoever hurts anyone with the Dollars for no reason is officially on my shit list." Masaomi and Anri both gave Mikado startled looks. Swearing was not something he did very often. Saki just smiled and nodded.

"I may be lacking in physical strength," she said calmly. "But I have my own ways of doing things. If I find the person who hurt Izaya-san, they're going to pay for it. I will not allow anyone to hurt the people I care about." For a moment, to Masaomi and Anri, it was as if Mikado and Saki were in their own little world, communicating in a way that no one else could understand. Neither one was threatening the other, but there was a warning there.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Shizuo clenched his fists as the shadow thing he'd been chasing slipped under a doorway. As pissed as he was, he had to restrain himself from breaking into someone else's house. He lit a cigarette and took a deep breath, hoping that his beloved nicotine would calm him down. It worked, for a moment, until his cell phone rang. Looking at the ID, he realized it was someone he didn't know. However, very few people actually had his number, and solicitors had stopped calling him after he'd accidently-on-purpose smashed one of their cars. Sighing, he picked up.

"Who the hell–" he began, only to be cut off.

"You don't know me," a voice responded. It was a young girl, who sounded scared. "My name is Mika, but that's not important. Listen, Kishitani-sensei is in serious danger right now. He's been attack by some guy. Seiji-san and I are doing our best to hold him off, but he's very strong, and Kishitani-sensei looks like he's been hurt pretty bad. Please hurry." There was a cracking sound, a yelp of pain, and then the phone was disconnected. For a moment, Shizuo was too surprised to react properly. Then–

"Shizuo-senpai?" a voice said. He turned around, meeting Vorona's gaze.

"What're you doing here?" he growled, coming off more aggressively than he really meant to.

"We saw you chasing something and figured it had something to do with Izaya," Mikage explained, hopping off the Russian woman's motorcycle. "Vorona-san and I had a sparring match earlier, and then we wandered around for a bit until we saw you. What was with that phone call?" Shizuo blinked at her, then swore.

"Fuck!" he growled. "Shinra's in trouble, apparently." Mikage silently tossed him the helmet she'd been wearing. "Thanks."

"If Shizuo-senpai requires, room is available on motorcycle," Vorona told him. Mikage nodded.

"I'll look for that shadowy thing," she offered. "You go help Kishitani."

"Thanks," he said again, sliding onto the motorcycle behind Vorona, who was doing her very best to act indifferent. Mikage just grinned, and gave a thumb up to her newfound friend. _Good luck_ , she mouthed. Vorona's cheeks definitely didn't turn red. Really.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The Rotting Man prodded the limp form beside it with an appendage that was probably supposed to be a foot. It looked bored – well, as bored as a creature that didn't have a recognizable face could look. The figure on the floor let out a small squeaking sound that might have been a groan of pain, and the woman across from the Rotting Man adjusted her glasses and wrote something down on her clipboard.

The being on the floor could remember nothing – not its name, not its gender, not its age or birthday or even species. It only remembered the pain. Looking closely at the figure, one might realize that it was slightly translucent, as if it wasn't entirely there. The figure did, however, remember the pain. Its crimson eyes were glazed over in agony, blood trailed down its face, and the place where its left arm had once been was now a gaping mass of mutilated flesh that appeared to have been cauterized with what was likely a cigarette lighter in the most half-assed way possible. The remaining hand had been pinned to the floor with a tuning fork, and would twitch every now and then in an attempt to dislodge the two-pronged piece of steel. The figure was also nude, but it was likely unaware of this.

Aside from the woman with the clipboard, the figure on the floor, and the Rotting Man, there was one other being in the room. The fourth person was dressed as an average Japanese businessman, which made sense, as that's exactly what he was. There was, however, something very odd about him – his eyes were glowing an unnatural red, as were the eyes of the woman with the clipboard. When he spoke, it was with an oddly blank tone, but an otherwise human voice.

"Everything is going according to plan… Mother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Surprise! Who saw that coming? Well, hopefully nobody, or I wouldn't be very good at twists. I'm sure you all remember Siri (the lost and found lady who was voiced by LAURA MOTHERFUCKING BAILEY), but if you don't… sucks to be you, I guess. I may not have Internet access for a couple days next week, as I'll be visiting my relatives in Tennessee (during Passover, which is going to be a huge pain in the ass, as they're extremely orthodox and we're… not), but I'll try to work on chapter eleven while I'm gone. For those of you also reading "I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault", my goal is to have the next chapter of that up within the next nine days, but I can't promise you that it'll happen. To the person (or people, if there's more than the person who PM'd me) who wants my Izaya/Mikage oneshot, I'll start writing as soon as Mikage's character has a tag on the character chart. As for "A Fate Worse Than Death", I've already started chapter two, but, again, I don't know when it will be finished. Also, I got a couple reviews saying that they would read a manga/novel by me, which made me very happy, though I should warn that I'll probably write a novel, because I'm not a good enough artist to do a lot of drawing. I'm still in the planning stages on the novel, but I hope to get down to writing that soon! With all that said, happy Easter, happy Passover, and happy whatever-the-hell-else-happens-around-this-time-of-year!


	11. The Love That Dares to Speak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I am on a plane to DC as we speak, and I have no idea why it's taken me this long to start writing this for you guys. Sorry. By the way, airplane food is shit. We did get first class (for this one ride; there are three others), so that's something, but what a pain, you know? Anyhow, my hotel will probably have WiFi, so I should be able to get this up before we head to Tennessee, so long as I finish before Wednesday. Moving right along, I'm really grateful for all the amazing feedback I'm getting from you guys. Seriously, I have a little folder on my computer just for the awesome reviews I've been getting. "Deicide" actually ended up getting its own folder; so many reviews! Every now and then, I'll open the folder, peek at my reviews, and giggle to myself for a little bit. I really love you guys. I honestly can't wait to land so that I can refresh my gmail page and see if I've gotten any new reviews (or if any other stories have updated)! One last thing: just so you guys know, I occasionally make jokes in my Author's Notes, and, I'll be honest, they're probably funnier than the jokes in the story. I do that because ANs can be a big pain to read, but they often mention important things. So please, to all of you who aren't reading the ANs, start reading them. For those of you who ARE reading the ANs, I deeply apologize for how I'm going to get people who aren't reading this to read it. I'll let you know now, and you can say, "I'm one of the people who saw that coming because I pay attention to things". About halfway through, the story is going to cut off, and I'm going to yell at people to read the fucking ANs. I'll let you consider it a belated April Fool's joke, but I'll also promise not to end the chapter like that, because that'd be a really big dick move. Anyhow, to those of you who are reading this because I took the time to write it, and to those of you who are reading this because I yelled at you halfway through the chapter, happy April Fools' Day!

As soon as the man saw Seiji, he dropped Shinra's bloody and hopefully unconscious body on the ground and lunged for the blank-faced boy. Unfortunately for him, however, Namie had made damn sure that her little brother could take care of himself, just in case she wasn't around. Seiji sidestepped the man, grabbing his wrist and flipping onto the ground.

"Mika, call–" Seiji cut himself off, realizing that he couldn't exactly summon the police to an underground doctor's house that was connected to two wanted women. "Call–" he tried to say "Heiwajima Shizuo", but the man had leapt back to his feet, throwing a punch. Seiji dodged, and delivered a solid right hook to the man's face, knocking out a couple teeth. Behind him, he heard Mika talking on her cell phone, having apparently figured out for herself who the best person to call was. As his girlfriend was clearly in no danger, Seiji focused all of his attention on the fight.

"Bastard!" the other guy snarled. Seiji narrowed his eyes. He was aware that he wasn't exactly a model citizen, but this guy…

"You're the one who broke into this guy's house and attacked him," Seiji pointed out, blocking a kick with his forearm. He winced. The guy's technique was absolute shit, but he was quite strong. Seiji, however, had survived an encounter with Heiwajima Shizuo. A kick to the forearm from a slightly stronger than average guy was nothing compared to a head butt and being tossed into the side of a minivan by Ikebukuro's God of Destruction (in a bartender suit). If there was one good quality Seiji had aside from his loyalty to his love, he was true to himself and he was no damn coward. He might not love Mika, but it was his responsibility as her boyfriend to ensure that no harm came to her. Responsibility was very important to Seiji. For all his academic talent, good looks, and physical fitness, Seiji was not perfect, regardless of what his sister and girlfriend claimed. He was, however, not an unskilled fighter.

"Fuck off!" the guy roared. "He met Ruri-chan! He talked to her!" It clicked, suddenly – this was Hijiribe Ruri's stalker, the one the media kept freaking out about. Seiji felt a bubble of rage boil up inside him.

"Ruri, huh?" he said quietly. "You love her, do you?" the guy grinned madly at him. This guy, Seiji decided, was even crazier than most of the people he knew.

"That's right," the guy breathed. "I love her – Ruri-chan is my love." he threw another punch, presumably trying to catch Seiji off-guard. However, the high schooler merely caught his fist.

"I know who you are," Mika said suddenly. "You're Adabashi Kisuke, the guy who wrecks posters of Hijiribe Ruri's face and attacks anyone that comes into contact with her."

"Exactly," the guy's manic grin widened. "That's how she'll know how I love her." Seiji punched him as hard as he could across the jaw.

"That isn't love," Seiji growled, punching the guy again. "If you love someone, you have to protect them! You don't hurt them!" Adabashi stumbled back, clutching his jaw. "You don't hurt the people they care for!" Punch. "You don't mar the face of the woman you love!" Punch. "You don't let anyone _think_ about hurting them or their loved ones!" Punch. "You dedicate yourself to making them happy!" Punch. "If you pull crap like that, you're a good-for-nothing scumbag! Love is a commitment; a lifelong commitment that never goes away!" Punch. "If you love someone, it's your duty to make them happy!" Punch. "If you love someone, _don't take it out on someone else if they don't love you back_!" Punch. Seiji stopped to catch his breath, and then everything went wrong. Adabashi surged forward, grabbing Seiji by the throat and slamming him into the ground.

"Seiji-san!" Mika shrieked, dropping her phone with a clatter.

"You could never understand my love!" Adabashi spat. Seiji tried to blink away the stars from what was likely a concussion and struggled to get Adabashi's hands away from his throat. "My love for Ruri-chan is beyond anything you could even begin to conceive! Once I've killed you two shits, I'll kill that fucking doctor, and then I'll kill that piece of shit actor who thinks he can touch my Ruri!" A hand grabbed the back of Adabashi's shirt, easily yanking him into the air and forcing him to release Seiji, who gasped as his oxygen-deprived body tried to suck in as much air as humanly possible. Mika rushed to his side, concern shining in her eyes. The two of them turned to look at the newcomer, and Seiji's next intake of air came out as a sigh of relief. They were going to be fine.

"Exactly which 'piece of shit actor' were you talking about there?" Heiwajima Shizuo asked, his calm tone completely at odds with his infuriated expression. "It wouldn't happen to be _Hanejime Yūhei_ , would it? 'Cause if it is, that's my little brother. And you just said you want kill him, right?" Shizuo leaned closer to the guy he was dangling in midair like a feather. He was smiling, but it was the smile he wore when fighting Orihara Izaya – the smile that very clearly stated that someone was about to get hurt. "So that means, you're okay with me killing you, _right_?"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

**_ READ THE FUCKING AUTHOR'S NOTES!!! _ **

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Saki arrived at Shinra's house, there were three things that caught her attention. One, there was a Russian assassin on a motorbike outside. Two, the front door – or what was left of it – looked like it had offended Heiwajima Shizuo. Third, there was a bunch of yelling coming from inside. If Saki had been a normal person, she would have cut her losses and gone home. However, Saki was curious by nature, so she walked past the Russian assassin – Vorona, or something – and stepped through the remains of the door and into the house, where she was met with a very odd sight.

Harima Mika was kneeling on the floor, supporting Yagiri Seiji, who looked like he was returning from a very odd blueberry cosplay. Heiwajima Shizuo was beating the shit out of some poor unlucky bastard, some poor unlucky bastard was getting the shit beaten out of him, and Kishitani Shinra was lying on the floor, probably unconscious, and bleeding. Saki cleared her throat.

"Pardon me," she began, not wanting to irritate any of the extremely dangerous people surrounding her. Nobody paid attention to her, as Shinra was unconscious, Mika was fussing over Seiji, Seiji was trying to breathe properly, Shizuo was apparently trying to get arrested for murder, and the guy who had seemingly pissed off Shizuo somehow was probably about to die. Saki took a deep breath. "OI!" Heads turned towards her. "Not to be rude, Heiwajima-san, but that guy is quite close to death. If you intend to find Izaya-san and 'beat the pulp out of him', then I recommend you not be in jail for murder whilst attempting to do more."

"He was threatening Kasuka," Shizuo told her, dropping the now unconscious stalker to the floor. Saki shrugged.

"He's already going to be charged for murder, stalking, attempted murder, breaking and entering, and stealing cigarettes from a convenience store a few blocks east of here," she informed him. "I'll give you that bit of info for free, but you'll have to pay me for more. Either way, he's got a one way ticket to jail, so there's no need to get yourself sent there as well."

"You've got a point," Shizuo agreed reluctantly. "Still, I never thought I'd meet someone like this."

"Like what?" Mika asked, glancing at them from where she was still embracing Seiji.

"Someone I hated more than Izaya," Shizuo said bluntly. He looked at Shinra's body. "Looks like Izaya won't be too thrilled with this guy either."

"He's not dead, is he?" Mika asked, not sounding too concerned. Saki trotted over to the unconscious doctor, poking him a couple times.

"No, he'll be fine," she said. "A few broken bones, and he'll have the headache of a lifetime when he wakes up, but he'll be just fine." Seiji groaned, managing to pull himself to his feet.

"Nee-san…" he muttered. He tried to walk towards the stairs, but stumbled over his own feet.

"Looks like you've got a concussion," Saki chirped. Seiji nodded.

"Yeah," he let out a groan of pain, and Mika helped him over to a chair. Saki turned to Shizuo.

"I'll go check on Namie-san," she said cheerfully. "Could you call the Black Rider over here, please? I think she'll want to know about her boyfriend." Shizuo nodded, and Saki turned to the young couple. "Do either of you know any first aid?"

"A little," They said at the same time. Mika giggled. "We're so in sync!"

"Yeah…" Seiji muttered again. "Anyway, nee-san made sure I knew at least a little first aid, just in case, so we'll watch Kishitani-sensei until the Black Rider gets here. You make sure nee-san's okay." Saki nodded, and nearly skipped up the stairs.

"That girl's creepy," Shizuo muttered. The other two kids looked at him. "You two are creepy too," he decided.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Namie was awoken by what felt like a scene from the second _Harry Potter_ book (she'd read all of them to Seiji). Saki's face was right in front of hers, and Namie was unable to hold in the slight shriek of shock. Saki giggled, and hopped off.

"It's good to see that Namie-san is okay," she remarked. "Kishitani-sensei was beat up pretty badly by that intruder, so I wasn't sure~" Namie blinked.

"Intruder?" she questioned, deciding to pretend that she wasn't talking to the only person on the planet more unnerving than Izaya.

"Mm." Saki sat down on the table across from Namie's bed and swung her legs. "Adabashi Kisuke – Hijiribe Ruri's stalker. He broke in and attacked Kishitani-sensei, but your little brother held him off until Heiwajima-san came." Namie sat up a little straighter.

"Seiji's here? Is he alright?" her voice came out a little more panicked than she'd have liked, but if Saki noticed she didn't say anything.

"Looks fine to me," she remarked. "I'm not a doctor, though. He doesn't have any broken bones, but I do think he's got a nasty bruise around his neck. On the bright side, he's probably going to have to stay here for a bit, so you'll get to be around him for a few days at least." Namie sighed, feeling warmth rush to her cheeks as she smiled. _Seiji…_

"I'm glad he's okay," she murmured. "I'd like to see him, but I'd rather he stay still if he's hurt. He's safe, though, and that's the only thing that matters." Saki gave her an odd look, though the expression on the teen's face didn't change.

"Do you really think so?" she asked finally. Namie blinked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do you really think Seiji-kun's safety is the only thing that matters?" Saki repeated. Namie wanted to scold her for addressing Seiji so informally, but she already knew that it wouldn't do any good.

"Are you doubting my love for Seiji?" Namie demanded, feeling a hot bubble of anger in her chest.

"Not really," Saki told her, not looking the least bit concerned at the rising irritation of the dangerous woman across from her. "You probably love your brother very much. I've never had a brother, so I couldn't say what it's like, but I can tell you that there are many different kinds of love."

"I'm aware of that," Namie sneered. Contempt rose up in her towards the younger girl who clearly didn't know what she was talking about.

"I don't think you are," Saki said simply, meeting the now furious woman's gaze head-on. "I love Masaomi very much, but I also love Izaya-san very much. It's different, though. My love for Masaomi is very different from my love for Izaya-san because even though I love Izaya-san, I'm _in_ love with Masaomi."

"And I'm in love with Seiji, as your dear 'Izaya-san' so often mentions."

"I wonder about that," Saki continued swinging her legs back and forth as she spoke. "This is just a theory of mine, but it's based off what I know to be true. Your unhealthy attachment to your brother grew from not having attention from anyone else. Thus, you clung to him, and he, also not having anyone else, clung to you. You don't love Seiji, you love that he needs you, because no one else ever has, and you're scared that no one else ever will."

"Izaya needs me," Namie told her coolly. "As annoying as that is, he certainly can't get anything done without me."

"Is that right?" Saki asked. Her cheerful smile suddenly seemed much less friendly, though the expression on her face hadn't change. "He was doing perfectly fine before you showed up. He just likes telling his plans to someone who can't – or won't – do anything about them. Before you came along, he came to the hospital and talked to me. The only difference is that you'll throw snarky comments at him and give him a good sarcastic banter, which isn't my thing."

"So in other words, I'm more useful to him than you are." Namie smirked triumphantly. Saki, however, just shrugged.

"Sure, I guess," she replied. "But it's odd that you look so smug about it, considering that it doesn't matter to you." Namie stared at her.

"I'm not sure what you're trying to say."

"You know exactly what I'm saying," Saki said. "But if you want to play dumb, I'll make it simpler: I'm saying that even though you claim that nothing in the world matters aside from your little brother, you still felt something when you proved that you're more useful to Izaya-san than I am. Which means that being useful to someone also matters to you. Also, in case you didn't notice, you weren't trying to prove that you were better than me. All you were trying to do was prove that someone other than Seiji needs you as a constant in life. So in other words, all you want is to be acknowledged by someone. You say you love Seiji because you _want_ to love him, but you don't know the first thing about love. Not in that sense, anyway. To put it plainly, Namie-san, what you really want is someone who loves _you_."

As Saki finished her mini-speech, the only thing that Namie could do was stare and wonder if Izaya was aware of exactly how deadly Saki truly was.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

After Saki left them, the trio of best friends suddenly grew quiet, as if none of them really knew what to say. Suddenly, Anri felt a rush of guilt and found herself blurting out that she needed to go, running as fast as she could from Kida-kun and Ryūgamine-kun's concerned calls.

When she finally came to a halt, bent over and panting for breath, she realized that her face was streaked with tears, and she didn't know why.

**_I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you_ **

_No you don't._ Anri hissed to the blade. _Shut up._

 ** _Anri-chan, I'd like your assistance again._** At the sound of _That Voice_ , Anri felt hatred flare through her veins.

 _What do you want_? She demanded. _Haven't you done enough already_?

 ** _It's never enough, Anri-chan. Now then…_** COME HERE ** _._**

As Anri's body moved to obey the call of the person she hated most in the world, her own self-loathing continued to rise.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The woman with the clipboard prodded the lump on the floor with her indestructible pen, clear disappointment written all over her face. Behind her stood the red-eyed Japanese businessman and the Rotting Man, one with a blank look on his face and the other with no real face at all. The door opened, and a girl who looked remarkably like the clipboard woman entered the room. Like the clipboard woman, she had short black hair, red eyes, and glasses, but unlike the clipboard woman, she did not look pleased to see the other.

"Ah, you've arrived," the clipboard woman remarked, smiling happily. "Nya."

"Stop it with the cat noises," the red-eyed girl said coldly. "Make it quick."

"I suppose you want to get back to those little friends of yours," the woman remarked. After a moment, she added, "Nya." The hatred emanating from the girl with glasses towards the woman with the clipboard was beyond overwhelming, and the red-eyed businessman flinched back.

"Send him home," the girl snapped. "He doesn't belong here," the woman with the clipboard shrugged, and made a shooing motion with her hand.

"Off you go," she spoke in a tone that was clearly condescending towards the younger girl. The businessman nodded.

"Yes, Mother." he turned to walk off, and the red-eyed girl called after him.

"Make sure to get some rest," she told him. He nodded again, and walked away. By morning, he wouldn't even remember their existences.

"How kind of you," the woman with the clipboard remarked. "Nya, showing concern towards lesser beings." The red-eyed girl scowled.

"I don't see anyone as lesser than myself," she retorted. "Aside from monsters like you." The woman laughed.

"You aren't one to talk, Sonohara Anri-chan." She said, clearly amused.

"Go away," Anri snapped, kneeling down beside the lump on the floor. "I may be a monster, but at least I'm not evil."

"Evil is subjective," the woman said.

"Not in your case," Anri replied grimly. She hesitantly placed a hand on what was probably the lump's shoulder. "Orihara-san? Orihara-san, can you hear me? It's me, Anri. Um, it's Saika. Orihara-san?" The lump let out a whimpering sound, and the woman with the clipboard snorted.

"How pathetic," she remarked, turning on her heel to walk off. Glancing over her shoulder, she added, "Well, call me back in once you've finished." Anri sent her a scathing glare over her shoulder before turning her head back to the lump.

"Orihara-san?" she repeated, gently shaking his shoulder. A dull red eye cracked open. They weren't like Anri's possessed red eyes – which had since faded back to their usual brown – and it wasn't the red eyes one saw on an albino. It was just a dark reddish brown color that could most easily be described as 'red'.

The lump – known to Anri as Orihara Izaya – made an exhausted croaking sound, and Anri swallowed as she gave his shoulder, which had somehow gone mostly uninjured, a light squeeze.

"I know," she murmured. "I know. It'll be fine, I promise. Can you tell me what hurts?"

"…erithin…" was the hoarse reply. She was fairly certain he meant 'everything', and bit her lip.

"I know," she repeated, feeling hot tears well up in her eyes. "Believe me, Orihara-san, I wish there was something I could do. I need you to be more specific."

"…Kill…" he rasped. Anri sighed. The first time he had asked her to kill him, she had thrown up. The second time, she had cried. Now, though, all she could do was pray that someone would come and save them from this hell.

"I can't do that, Orihara-san. You know I can't." She hesitated. "I would if I could." At first, that had been a lie. Now, it was true. After all that had happened to the man, Anri felt that death really was the only escape for him. But she could not kill him. "Please, just tell me what hurts the most." Izaya didn't respond, and Anri saw something moving in her peripheral vision.

In a flash, Saika had been drawn, and was now pointing at the Rotting Man's throat (or whatever it had where its throat would have been had it been human).

"Stay back," Anri warned. "You may have to watch me, but if you come any closer, I _will_ kill you." The Rotting Man stepped back, but Anri could feel that it was laughing at her – or, more accurately, at her empty threat. Anri turned back to Izaya just in time to hear his reply.

"…Head…" she nodded, though she doubted he was aware of that, and pressed a hand to his forehead. He didn't flinch away, though it was likely because he simply lacked the energy to do so. His head was burning, and Anri made a mental note to ask Kishitani-sensei what to do about fevers in emergency situations.

"Okay," she murmured. "Orihara-san, how many fingers am I holding up?" He simply closed his eyes in response. Anri bit her lip. _That's not good…_ "Orihara-san," she began, deciding to try one more thing. "Do you know who I am?" there was no response, and it dawned on Anri that Izaya likely did not realize that she was talking to him at all.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Hiro sat up straight, gasping for breath. The dream had been… terrifying, even for a nightmare. His cheeks were stained with drying tears, his palms were sweaty, and… peeking under the bed, he confirmed that he had indeed wet himself.

" _Hiro_?" Siri looked down at him, worry written all over her face and body language, and Hiro realized that he had probably woken her up. " _You screamed. Is everything alright_?" Everything was _not_ all right, though, because there was something very wrong. Looking down at his body, both of them realized what exactly was off at the same time.

" _Siri_ …" Hiro's voice was unsteady, but he was trying to remain calm. Even so, terror was stamped all over his face. " _What happened to me_?"

Where an eight-year-old boy had fallen asleep on the spare futon of an illegal Russian alien only a few hours earlier, there was now a boy who was very clearly twelve years old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I like cliffhangers. And plot twists. Have you noticed that? Anyhow, I finally finished this chapter (longest one yet!), but I have no idea when I'll be able to post it. If my aunt's place has Internet, I'll be posting in a couple hours, but if not, I'll post on Saturday as soon as I get back, even if it's in the middle of the night. Currently, I am on a plane headed for Chicago, where I will take another plane to Tennessee, where my dad's crazy religious family is serving lasagna with matzah instead of pasta because fucking Passover. And they wonder why I'm not religious… Anyhow, unless I go insane from lack of Internet, I'll hopefully update this very soon, along with "A Fate Worse Than Death", "I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault", and, yes, "Acnologia is Not Your Father". I hope.
> 
> So, how many people thought Anri was the bad guy? Come on, I know for a fact that at least one person did. Well, if you can guess who "clipboard woman" is, good for you. Don't spoil it for the people who haven't read the novels. I was initially going to put more Kida in this chapter, but I guess he only got a few mentions. Saki, Seiji, and Anri were kinda hogging all the screentime.
> 
> Anyhow, Saki's terrifying, Seiji's a badass, and Anri's probably in the worst position out of everyone, all things considered. Well, aside from Izaya, of course. Real quick: who's confused about Hiro? I know someone is. You can't hide from me forever! *Insert manic laughter here*
> 
> Finally, I am aware that the subs and the official website are now referring to Vorona and Slon as "Varona" and "Sloan". I… don't know what to make of that, so I'll just ignore it and continue spelling them the way I learned to spell them, unless my handy-dandy Ukrainian Spell-Check Friend tells me otherwise. Also, does anyone else watch the English dub? Akane is super cute, Vorona's voice is absolutely perfect, and Chikage is brilliant as well. I wish I knew who the voice actors were, but I can't find, like, half of them.


	12. Zàijiàn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: *sniff* SO. MUCH. FEEDBACK. You guys make me so happy~ I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this! I've gotten favorites, follows, kudos, comments, and constructive criticism! It's freaking awesome, guys. I love you. Also, I should probably tell you this right now – my goal with this story, other than filling the request from Naturesshadows is to make you guys appreciate the extremely underappreciated characters. Saki, Seiji, Mika, Namie, and Vorona all get a lot of shit from the fans. The only character that nobody really dislikes is Celty, but Izaya and Shizuo often get their characters twisted in fanfics, and so do the Raira trio, Shinra, Kadota's gang, etc. So, basically, I'm going to remind you that Mika is more than a stalker, Seiji is more than a yandere, Saki is more than Kida's girlfriend, Vorona is more than a rival for Shizuo, Erika is more than BL fan, and so on and so forth. One of the greatest things about Narita-sensei's works is that there are many layers to all of the characters, something I'm going to try and show here. Remember, in the Naritaverse, there are very few truly evil people. I'd say the only people who truly qualify as monsters are Szilard, Fermet, and Izumii, though Fermet is easily the worst of the three. The point is, things aren't always cut and dry. Anyhow, thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and I hope you enjoy the chapter~

Kujiragi Kasane did not hate Orihara Izaya – quite the opposite. She was grateful to him; after all, if it hadn't been for Izaya, she would never have been freed from her monotonous life under Yodogiri Jinnai. However, that did not change the fact that Izaya was an obstacle.

It may be difficult for you to understand this. Oh, who am I? Haha, I'm not going to tell you that. You may call me Tsukumoya Shinichi. Who am I really? I just said I'm not going to tell you. Pay more attention. Not that my identity really matters, of course. I will tell you this, however: I am not an onion.

That's a little obvious, you say? Is it really? Had you already ruled out the possibility before I brought it up? I doubt that you even considered it. You simply assumed that I had to be a human. Or perhaps you think that I'm just an extremely intelligent primate. After all, onions can't use keyboards. Or maybe they can – I don't know very much about onions. I could find out, of course, but the secret life of onions is rather irrelevant, wouldn't you say? After all, the only part of the onion that really matters is the edible part.

Well, that and all the metaphorical juiciness and simile potential that onions have. What I'm trying to say is this: when you first look at an unpeeled onion, you are only seeing the very top layer. Peel that off, and you'll see another layer. Once you've peeled enough layers off, you start to see the 'fruit' of the onion, and you'll be able to see whether or not the onion has any bad spots. That's kind of how a story goes. However, unlike an onion, the layers of a story are not paper thin. They are not black and white. I daresay one would be hard-pressed to find an evil onion, after all, but who knows? As I said earlier, I am no onion expert.

Really, onions have nothing to do with this story. Am I the one telling it, you ask? Don't be silly – do you really think I'd tell you if I was? It doesn't matter, anyhow. The identity of the storyteller does not affect the contents of the story. It might affect the manner in which the story is told, but the story itself is unchangeable. One incident leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to yet another, and so on and so forth. A story has no beginning, no ending, and no middle. A story is what it is. To tell a story, however, one must start somewhere.

Therefore, allow me to begin by asking you a question: Have you heard of Hijiribe Ruri? She's quite the famous idol, you know. That's what most people know about her. Did you know that she is also the serial killer Hollywood? Did you know that she is not fully human? What is she, you ask? Well, I don't like to spoil things too much, but I will tell you this – she's not overly fond of sunlight.

However, the ¼ human Hijiribe Ruri is not really of any concern at the moment. More important is her ½ human mother's mother, her inhuman grandmother. What is this woman's name, you ask? Again, it is irrelevant. You may think of her as 'Granny', 'That Old Hag', 'Bat Witch', 'Hijiribe Ruri's Grandmother', or whatever else strikes your fancy. The important thing is the last of those, though, so I'll call her that. Hijiribe Ruri's grandmother was not human. She was, as you may have guessed, a being known as a vampire. Her daughter, Hijiribe Ruri's mother, was a half-human – as was Hijiribe Ruri's mother's older half sister. Too confusing?

Allow me to clarify. Long before Hijiribe Ruri's mother was born, Hijiribe Ruri's grandmother ran away from her family, and sold her only daughter - at the time, anyhow – to a man known as Yodogiri Jinnai. That child never knew her own name. At least, not the name her absentee parents had given her. So why did Hijiribe Ruri's grandmother run away? The answer is simple: the father of her baby was a human. Why did she sell her daughter? I couldn't tell you that. That child, however, grew up with the name Yodogiri Shachō.

So, what do all these things have in common? Why does it matter that Yodogiri Shachō is Hijiribe Ruri's aunt? What do Kujiragi Kasane and Orihara Izaya have to do with any of this? It matters, because the real Kujiragi Kasane is currently somewhere in North Africa. The woman we have been addressing as Kujiragi Kasane is the once nameless child of Hijiribe Ruri's grandmother, who was formerly known as Yodogiri Shachō. It matters, because this woman once carried a cursed weapon – a katana known as Saika.

I'm sure you heard of it, though you likely thought that it was under the ownership of Sonohara Anri. The truth is that Saika is owned by both Sonohara Anri and Kujiragi Kasane. You see, there are actually two Saikas. Surprised? Kishitani Shingen gained ownership of the blade in question for a short period of time, you know. He received it from Kujiragi Kasane herself, though she was acting under the orders of Yodogiri Jinnai at the time. Kujiragi Kasane created her own method of possessing others with Saika – a technique known as "branching". I don't know all the details, but it doesn't matter.

Sonohara Anri was never possessed by the blade she bore for one reason and one reason only – she was not capable of love. Because she could not feel love, she allowed Saika to feel for her. And, for a while, that was fine.

I suppose I could clarify further, but I'd much rather not. You see, like Orihara Izaya, I am simply an observer. Unlike Orihara Izaya, however, I do not watch from the center of the action. My place is outside of all of that. Don't look so angry – I am under no obligation to tell you anything else. Actually, I didn't have to tell you any of this. I simply chose to. You can't know everything, of course. After all, there are only so many onions one can peel in one's lifetime. Layer by layer, if you peel back this story, you might learn a little more. Or, perhaps, this story will become an onion to you – juicy and useful only until you've finally peeled and eaten it. Whether this story leaves an impression on you or not is entirely up to you. You may interpret it in any way you wish. Just remember one thing: no matter how many onions you peel, you will never know the onion's full story. And that is something you will simply have to live with.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty Sturluson was a bad liar. Actually, she was a horrible liar. It was rather amusing that someone who should have had the best poker face in the world was so incapable of deceiving anyone. This did not mean, however, that she had never told a lie. She did not like lying, but she was aware that it was occasionally necessary.

Lies, Celty thought, were atrocious things. There were, of course, the nice lies, like telling someone that those pants don't make them look fat – even though it's technically true; the fact that they're fat makes them look fat. If there was something to be said about lies, it was that they were almost always told for a reason.

For example, when she, Shinra, and Namie had lied to Kadota and Shizuo (and didn't that stink, because Shizuo was her best friend, and she really, really didn't like the idea of lying to him). The truth was that they had not found Izaya a month earlier. The truth was that Izaya had not been wherever the fuck for two whole months. The truth was that Izaya had only been gone for a month. Just one.

It was not Celty Sturluson who had found him, though even Shinra and Namie were not aware of that fact. Then again, even Celty was not entirely sure how Sonohara Anri had found the man, much less how he'd managed to move at all with the wounds he had. It never once crossed her mind that Anri-chan would know something like that, though. But Sonohara Anri was an experienced liar. She could even lie to herself.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Sonohara Anri first met Kujiragi Kasane when the older woman had appeared at her house. It had not been pleasant. The deal had eventually boiled down to this: Anri was to help Kujiragi out with a little project and not breathe a word to anyone about it. In return, Mikado and Masaomi would not be hurt. At first, Anri had refused. After all, Mikado and Masaomi could both fend for themselves, and anything that required blackmail couldn't be good.

That was when Kujiragi Kasane's smile had turned cruel, and Anri found her body moving against her will. It was at that point that Kujiragi explained to her that she was also a bearer of Saika – and had formed an alliance with her own, as well as Anri's. Though it had once been impossible for Saika to possess Sonohara Anri, something had changed. Sonohara Anri had discovered love. And now, because of that love she had for Mikado and Masaomi, Saika was no longer bound within her.

Without batting an eyelash, Kujiragi had spoken the words that still haunted Anri's nightmares.

"You misunderstand me, Sonohara-chan. I am not telling you that I will hurt your friends if you do not comply. I am telling you that _you_ will be the one to do that." And that was it – the ultimatum that Anri faced. She could commit a likely heinous deed in order to protect her friends and keep some semblance of free will, or she could fall entirely under the control of this new enemy, murder her friends, and end up committing said heinous deed anyway. The choice had been obvious.

At first, it hadn't been that bad. All she had to was act as an assistant in a lab whenever Kujiragi needed an extra set of hands. Regardless, Anri had been very careful not to let her guard down, as she was well aware that at least half of the materials they were working with were either illegal or unknown to the majority of humanity. Their lab work had lasted for only three weeks, and then Kujiragi had told her that she would not be called upon for a while. Feeling relieved, Anri had left. She spent the next week and a half trying to control Saika, and then she was summoned again. This time, however, there was someone else involved.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

"Anri-chan!" Anri stared in shock at Orihara Izaya, happily waving his bound hands at her. "Long time no see! How've you been?"

"O-Orihara-san?" she wasn't really asking, as it was pretty obvious who he was, but she had not expected to see him here. In a flash, Saika had been drawn. "I thought you might have something to do with this."

"Ah, Anri-chan, you wound me." Izaya grinned, looking absolutely thrilled. "I have been kidnapped," he announced. Anri stared at him, trying to figure out why that would make him so happy.

"And that's… good?" she asked, uncertain. Izaya shrugged.

"Well, probably not," he admitted. "But I don't actually know who kidnapped me! Isn't that odd? Wait; don't tell me it was Anri-chan? So OOC!"

"'OOC'?" she asked. Wasn't that a fanfiction term?

"Out of Character," Izaya clarified. "Karisawa and Yumasaki mention terms like that all the time, so I look them up! An informant must be in the know, after all."

"In the know… about fanfiction?" she said skeptically.

"About all things!" Izaya declared. "Ah, but enough of that. So, Anri-chan, why have I been kidnapped?" It was very strange, Anri thought. For the first time since she had known the man, there was no spark of cruelty dancing in his eyes – the only thing there was curiosity. An informant to the core, she supposed.

"I didn't kidnap you," she told him, readying her blade. "But I'll take this chance to cut you." Izaya puffed out his cheeks in disappointment.

"Hitting a guy when he's down?" he teased, not looking concerned. "I'm so disappointed, Anri-chan. I thought Saika hated me, though."

"It does." She told him. "You're just that despicable." He shrugged.

"Well, yes," he didn't look at all ashamed. "But how can Saika love me if it hates me?" he asked. "I should probably try to convince you not to stab me, as I dislike being stabbed, but I'm actually more curious as to how this works. Oh, and I'm fairly certain that I've been drugged. I cannot be held responsible for anything I say or do while high."

"No wonder you aren't trying to screw with her," Kujiragi walked into the room. "Hello, Izaya-san. Nya."

"Kujiragi Kasane," Izaya greeted. "Head of the organization known as Yodogiri Jinnai. Might I assume that you are behind my kidnapping?"

"You might," she agreed. "Put that away, Anri-chan. There's no reason to cut him. Not now, at least." Hesitantly, Anri allowed Saika to slip back inside her body.

"Why is Orihara-san here?" she asked. "Did you really kidnap him?"

"More importantly, what's with the 'nya'?" Izaya butted in.

"It's cute," Kujiragi said blankly, as if it should be obvious. Anri and Izaya both stared at her.

"Do you also put on kitty ears and prance around in front of the mirror?" the informant asked, looking unsure as to how he was supposed to respond.

"I'll try that," Kujiragi said after a moment. Izaya and Anri exchanged slightly disbelieving looks.

"Right… anyhow, back to Anri-chan's question. Why am I here?" Izaya asked.

"Also, why am _I_ here?" Anri added. Kujiragi smiled.

"Anri-chan is here because I want her to be," the woman replied. "Izaya, _you_ are here to help me with something. First, though, I'd like to thank you for ridding the world of Yodogiri Jinnai. I'm grateful for that. Nya."

"I didn't kill him," Izaya pointed out. Kujiragi shrugged.

"You might as well have," she said simply. Izaya did not bother to contradict her – she was right, after all. "However, you are an obstacle to my goals. As such, I've decided to put you to use in an experiment of mine."

"Oh?" Izaya was grinning. "And what experiment might that be?"

"I wonder, how long would it take to break you?" Kujiragi wondered, ignoring the young man's question. "You're very sharp, so I assume it would take fifteen days at the very least."

Looking back, Anri thought, Kujiragi's assumption had been wrong.

It hadn't even taken four.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Anri held the shivering mess in her arms, wondering how on earth they had ended up like this. The Rotting Man oozed about behind her, almost as if it were bored. The stump that had once been Izaya's left arm was twitching, as if the arm itself thought it was still attached, and his breath came in ragged gasps. Biting her lip, Anri wondered if there was any way to get Izaya out of this place.

She had done so, once. After an entire month of watching Izaya break, Anri had been unable to bear it any longer. Mikado and Masaomi could take care of themselves, and there were many people who were willing to protect them if they were ever in a situation that they couldn't handle. And so, Sonohara Anri had draped Orihara Izaya's half dead form over her shoulder (and he shouldn't have been so light – she could feel every single one of his ribs) and run. She had hidden herself in an alleyway, called Celty, and begged the Dullahan to keep silent. She had been far too afraid to confess to her sins.

But, ultimately, it hadn't mattered. Izaya had had exactly two months of freedom – most of which he'd spent unconscious – and then he'd been swept back into the hell that was _this place_. And now, Anri was effectively his doctor. She took care of him, bandaged his wounds, made sure he ate and drank enough to keep him alive, and forced him to live through unbearable agony, even when he begged her to kill him. She held the man she had once despised close to her, whispered false words of comfort that he probably couldn't hear anyway, and cried. She cried for him, for herself, for Mikado and Masaomi and Masaomi's girlfriend, for Shinra and Celty and Namie and Shizuo, and for those poor little girls whose brother had been torn away from them and returned unrecognizable.

Behind Anri, the Rotting Man slipped out the door, locking it with a 'click'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Is it just me, or are these getting done faster? I guess I'm just really having a lot of fun writing this, which doesn't say anything good for my sanity. In case you were wondering, yes, Izaya is still a massive asshole. A person doesn't completely do a 180˚ out of the blue, regardless of what some people would have you believe. What I find interesting is that so many people are reading this story, even though Izaya has had even less screentime than Walker (I haven't forgotten the Van Gang, I swear). Anyway, I'd like to apologize in advance for a decision I just made – I may include some characters from some of Narita-sensei's other works. They won't have big roles (some of them will just be mentioned), but at least one of them will play a fairly large part next chapter. I promise, no knowledge of any other works is required for this fic to make sense. Then again, if this fic makes sense there's probably something wrong with your brain. See you next time!


	13. Abreaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It actually took me a while to get started on this (I was working on another story), and I actually hit a roadblock for a bit. See, when I wrote the earlier chapters, I didn't really have a plan – I was just kind of writing. Remember, this story was initially just a little one-shot. So, I've actually been thinking on what to do next – see, I was going to fuck around with the timeline, but since I brought Anri in, I can't actually do that. I also had planned for Erika and Walker to be major characters, but they haven't shown up nearly as much as I'd have liked. And that's when I realized – this story isn't about Izaya. In fact, Izaya's barely shown up in it. It's true that he was involved in kick-starting the plot, but that's true for the entirety of the actual series. That's not to say that Izaya isn't an extremely important character, because of course he is. What I mean is that this story deals with the entirety of the Durarara universe, which is a lot of people, even if I didn't write some cameos with characters from Baccano, Vamp, or Etsusa Bridge, and at least one character from that last one will show up in this chapter. The problem is that it's really hard to manage so many characters and all their relationships, especially when they're all so damn complex and there's so many of them. On top of all that, there are a bunch of things that should have already shown up in the story but aren't actually there. Basically, I'm not entirely sure where this story is going – I'm really just trying to avoid writing myself into a plot hole. With all that out of the way, on with the story! Fair warning, though: this chapter's a bit… graphic.

Siri stared in shock at the young boy, who had somehow aged about four years in the span of one night. Before either of them had time to truly panic, however, Hiro's right arm twitched and bulged, distorting into the arm of someone who was very much done with puberty. At the same time, the upper left side of his face shrank, making his face a grotesque mix of twelve-year-old and two-year-old.

The creature in front of her made a garbled sound that was probably a cry for help as his body continued to twist itself. His eyes – one now twice the size of the other – were darting wildly around in fear as he thrashed.

" _Mother of…_ " Hesitantly, Siri reached for him, but the boy jerked suddenly, back arching up as he screamed in terror, memories rushing into his head, tangled and confusing, and Hiro cried as he shrieked, tears dribbling down his misshapen cheeks as his eyes rolled back into his skull.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

_He's thirteen years old and watching his only friend in the world bleeding out on the floor and he offers to take the blame and get revenge._

_He's four years old and he isn't sure why Babushka and Ojii-chan are here instead of Mommy and Daddy._

_He's nineteen years old and in college and it's pretty boring and he'll never admit it but he misses Shinra._

_He's ten years old and Mommy and Daddy come home with two little baby girls, who look more like Daddy than he does (he looks more like Mommy)._

_He's seven years old and wondering why Babushka is so determined to get him to learn self-defense._

_He's seventeen years old and Mikage has dropped out of high school, and he's pretty sure that it's his fault._

_He's twenty-five years old and his head hurts and everything's fuzzy and all he knows is that somehow he's been kidnapped._

_He's eight years old and there's a woman holding his hand and whispering comforting things and feeding him even though she doesn't even know his name._

_He's twenty-two years old and graduating and he's half proud of himself and half disappointed because nobody who came to the ceremony came for him._

_He's twenty-five years old and in the hospital thanks to Yodogiri and it hurts a lot more than he cares to admit that Shinra didn't bother to visit._

_He's fifteen years old and he's running from the blond boy who doesn't like him and can pick up impossibly heavy things._

_He's twenty-five years old and he wonders if maybe this is how people feel right before they commit suicide and isn't that just hilariously ironic._

_He's twenty-three years old and looking at Saki's unconscious body and wondering if maybe he feels a little guilty about this._

_He's nine years old and Ojii-chan is teaching him to throw knives at red and white targets painted on trees._

_He's eight years old and lost and terrified and cold and hungry and naked and tired and alone and thirsty and–_

_He's twenty-five years old and he doesn't know why they're hurting him because he's never seen people – creatures – like this before in his life._

_He's twenty-four years old and Simon punches him in the face and lectures him and he wonders when exactly Simon started to care and why he bothered._

_He's eight years old and he isn't so scared anymore._

_He's twenty-five years old and his arm isn't supposed to bend that way._

_He's sixteen and his only cousin has just lost her parents and he doesn't know them well enough to go to the funeral._

_He's sixteen and a half and it's his first time having sex – hers too – and it's nice but it's not something he really wants to do as often as boys his age usually do._

_He's twenty-one – twenty-one forever – and it's his first time with another man and it isn't bad, but he feels very sad later on and he isn't quite sure why._

_He's fourteen years old and in the bathroom and touching himself for the first time and he'll never forgive himself for moaning Shinra's name when he comes._

_He's eleven years old and he doesn't like those two brats that Mommy and Daddy brought home because they're loud and annoying and whiny and nobody's paying attention to_ him _._

_He's fourteen – almost fifteen – and he's carrying a crying little girl in his arms, ignoring the stinging pain in his arm where he blocked the bottle her father threw._

_He's nineteen years old and Saki's crying again, but it's happy this time because he's her legal guardian now, and she'll never have to go back_ there _._

_He's twenty-five years old and the room is so white – too white and he's naked and shaking and scared but he'll never admit it because he's stronger than that._

_He's two years old and he doesn't understand why he's so much more interested in the people celebrating the holiday than in the holiday itself._

_He's twenty-five years old and there's a hot, heavy, disgusting body on top of him, laughing at him, mocking him, ripping him to pieces with every thrust, but he's not crying because he's stronger than that._

_He's seven years old and his maternal grandparents are dead, and he can't seem to remember their names, because he's never thought to ask, and he's too scared to look on the tombstone because he knows those aren't their real names and he isn't quite old enough to understand._

_He's twenty-five years old and he's not fighting back anymore because it hurts less if he just lets them do what they want and he's sure he can escape somehow._

_He's twenty-five years old and has just begged his sixteen year old cousin (who doesn't even know they're related) to just fucking kill him already._

_…_

_He's twenty years old and all alone but not at all lonely because Shinra sent him a birthday present and it's the first (and last) time that that's happened and even if it was a joke, he still likes the coat and wears it every day._

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Siri held Hiro while he screamed and thrashed, quietly crying for the poor boy. He hadn't done anything to deserve this.

"Hiro-kun," she said, in Japanese, because she thought he'd be more comfortable with it. "You wish to call?" she spoke very slowly, trying to make as much sense as possible and not gets her words wrong. "Ah… I can find someone. I sure people know things. Must happen very often, no?" Hiro, gasping for breath, managed to turn his head towards her, meeting her sky blue eyes with his mismatched red ones.

"Call… Shinra…" he rasped, and Siri blinked in surprise because his voice wasn't what she'd been expecting – it was almost a mix between a young man and a small child, but there weren't multiple voices or echoes like in the movies.

"Who?" Siri asked, having no idea who that was. She was pretty sure that 'Sinra' was the name of some place in Korea or something.

"Se… Celty, then." He gasped for breath, trying not to squirm as his body twisted into shapes that shouldn't be – and probably weren't – possible.

"Who?" Siri repeated. The names meant nothing to her.

"Rider…" was all Hiro could say before slumping on her lap, unconscious, his body still twitching in places. It clicked then – the Black Rider – someone abnormal to solve and abnormal problem. Siri nodded, hoping the boy would be okay on his own for a bit – she couldn't exactly take him with her at the moment. Snatching up her cell phone, the Russian woman quickly brought up the Dollars website.

' _When was last time you saw Black Rider?_ ' she inquired. Four seconds later, she had eight replies.

' _I saw it yesterday._ ' –Kahlua Milk

' _Why do you want to know? Hoping to catch a glimpse?_ ' –Bakyura

' _I saw it yesterday as well. Why?_ ' –MONTA

' _Ah! Trying to find the elusive Black Rider, are we? My, my, how curious! Tell me, what exactly are your intentions? Are you maybe trying to get that bounty that was up a while ago, or is there some sort of mysterious romance going on?_ ' –Kyo

' _Explain please._ ' –San

' _I can help you with that, if you've got a good reason._ ' –Admin

Siri's eyes widened at the appearance of the mysterious 'Admin', who had only appeared a few months ago. The infamous creator of the Dollars, whose identity remained a secret to all but a few – so said the rumors, anyhow.

' _Friend of mine is hurt,_ ' she explained. ' _He thinks Black Rider can help._ ' A moment later, a private chat screen opened up. Siri blinked, surprised.

' _Hello, Shiri._ ' Admin wrote. ' _The Black Rider is a friend of mine. I'd like to meet you to make sure you aren't a threat, but I think the Rider can take care of herself, and your situation sounds urgent. I will ask the Rider to meet you at Ikebukuro Station in twenty minutes. Please do not respond to this message._ ' Siri snapped her phone shut, and glanced down at Hiro. Sweat trickled down his face, and Siri bit her lip. She was loath to leave him, but there wasn't really anything she could do. Grabbing a pen, she scribbled a note to him (in Russian, of course), picked up her purse, and left, a strong sense of determination fixing her feet on the path to Ikebukuro Station, where she would meet one of the city's biggest mysteries in the flesh. She would have to make sure not to fangirl until Hiro was safe.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

"Hey, do you want to have sex?" Masaomi broke through the awkward silence, looking intently at his girlfriend. The two of them had been sitting quietly together for about an hour, both of them trying to think of something to say. Saki looked at her boyfriend curiously.

"Yes," she responded after a moment. "But not until Masaomi is ready." He grinned at her.

"You don't think I could handle it?" he asked. She smiled.

"That's not it," she said simply. "But it's my first time – and yours, Masaomi. I just didn't think you'd want to do that while you're so worried about Sonohara-san."

"Are you sure you're not an esper?" Masaomi asked her, looking embarrassed. "Or is Izaya-san just telepathically telling you this stuff?" She laughed, unable to help herself.

"Who knows," she teased. "Maybe Masaomi is just really easy to read." He sighed, turning to look out the window.

"Maybe," he agreed quietly. Saki rested her chin on his shoulder, embracing him from behind.

"They'll be alright," she said simply. He nodded, allowing himself to lean back into her embrace.

"I know."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

In Orihara Izaya's office building, there were five people – two men and three women. There should have been one more man and one more woman, but the former was missing and the latter was bedridden.

"Why the fuck are we here?" the younger of the two men snapped. He was easily the most noticeable of the group, with dark shades, slicked-back hair, and a long scar – the result of a nasty burn – down the side of his face. His teeth were sharp, though not inhumanly so, and his cruel expression gave him the air of a shark.

"I want your help," the oldest of the three woman (who wasn't much older than twenty-four) said. She had short, spiky brown hair, a calm face, and a deceptively small body – those who knew her were aware of her strength. The most striking thing about her, however, was her clothing. She wore shorts, a jacket, and sandals, all of which was perfectly normal. Her shirt, however, consisted of a sleeveless piece of cloth that really only covered her breasts.

"She wants us to find her crush~" the youngest of the five sang, her body waving back and forth as she giggled to herself madly. She probably would have fallen if she hadn't been leaning on a long, sharp red scythe. This girl wore a typical schoolgirl uniform, although with a much longer skirt than was normal. Her eyes, a reddish brown, were wide, and her long hair fell partially in front of her face, giving her the appearance of a less than stable woman.

"I believe the term you're looking for is 'ex'," the oldest of the five corrected, adjusting his hat. He was a man of average height, probably in his mid-thirties, but he was bald. His skin was darker than that of an average Japanese man, but not by much, so he wasn't the type of person who really stood out in a crowd. He did, however, give of an aura of authority that made people listen to him when he chose to speak. Underneath his leather jacket, he wore a faded yellow shirt.

"I don't see how their relationship matters," said the final person. She had curly black hair and dark eyes. She wore a bored expression, but her eyes gave away her inner nervousness. Of all the people in the room, she was the most normal in appearance, as she lacked any burn marks, revealing clothes, dark skin, or wide, psychotic eyes.

"A while back, Izaya mentioned the plan involving that Earthworm person, right?" the shorthaired woman's question was obviously rhetorical, but there were nods and grumbles of ascent in response. "I think it's best if we go through with that." There was a snort from the man with the scar.

"Are you nuts, Mikage?" he sneered. "In case you forgot, that bastard ain't _here_ , and that plan kinda involves him."

"No, I agree with Sharaku-san," the bald man said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Izaya-kun's role in the plan was mostly a silent one, and I think I know who we could have play the part."

"Is Kine-san saying that we should use this Earthworm nut to find Izaya?" the curly-haired girl asked. She did not look at any of them directly, her face lost in though. Unbeknownst to the others, she was thinking back to the conversation she had had only a few hours earlier with a certain doctor.

"Yes, that's right," Kine confirmed. "I know that Manami-chan and Ran-kun aren't all that fond of Izaya-kun, but he is useful to all of us, and he's quite important to Sharaku-san and myself."

"What, that bitch gets 'Sharaku-san', and I'm just 'Ran-kun'?" Izumii demanded, his lip curling. "The fuck, ya dick?"

"That would be because I'm older than you, more respectable than you, and much better to look at," Mikage said offhandedly, a hint of triumph on her face.

"You bitch," Izumi growled, stalking forward. He was halted by a scythe pressing threateningly against his chest until he backed off.

"Izaya-san is important to me too," said Niekawa Haruna. "He knows where Takashi is, after all." Izumii muttered something under his breath, but he was ignored by the other four.

"I'm already spoken to Dragon Zombie and Nakura-san," Mikage explained, her face returning to its original serious expression. "Nakura-san isn't all that thrilled, but he'll do it. As for Dragon Zombie, their leader said that they were still working for Izaya. It seems that they like to finish what they start." Izumii groaned.

"Great," he grumbled. "Anyone got a script or some shit?" Manami reached into her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper, handing it to him. "'Act like Izaya, you dumb shit'." He read. He glowered at her. "Go fuck yourself." Then he grinned. "Ah, unless you'd like some help with that." Mikage gave him a warning look.

"Don't push me, Izumii-kun." She said quietly. He snorted, but did not respond. She sighed, shaking her head. "The only problem is that I was hoping to have Yagiri-san's help with this. Since she's hospitalized, however…"

"We'll have to plan around her," Kine said simply. "It won't be too difficult, as she wasn't all that involved in the first place."

"Izaya-san must really like her," Haruna said thoughtfully. "I don't think he's ever screwed with her. Not the way he screws with other people, I mean."

"He wants to keep his leading lady close," Mikage explained. "He likes everyone, but we're his 'friends', so we're a bit more important, I think."

"I want to kill him," Izumii pointed out. "That bitch–" he gestured to Manami "–already tried," he grinned. "Guy's got a shitty definition of 'friend'."

"Well, you did say you'd kill him last," Kine said calmly. "Most people just go with 'I'll kill you', but he knows you need him to keep you out of jail while you plot to kill all those other people. To Izaya-kun, mutual extortion is the basis of all friendships." Haruna shrugged, smiling.

"He's not exactly wrong," she said cheerfully. Mikage scowled.

"Death threats and creepy shit aside," she continued. "I can't say for sure that doing this will help us find Izaya, but it'll definitely help us make a name for ourselves." Manami nodded, turning to look out the window.

"Green Lights…" she murmured. "It's hilariously fitting."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The boy stood on his very tiptoes to sneak a peek through the window of the warehouse. He had followed the girl from his big brother's class all the way over here, because she'd looked so sad, and now she had been locked inside by some sort of monster. Despite the gravity of the situation, the boy couldn't stop himself from grinning. After all, it was not every day that a normal boy got the chance to rescue a beautiful damsel in distress. Then again, Kuzuhara Sōji was not exactly the textbook definition of a normal boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Wow, this was a long one – for me, at least. I'm having a blast writing this story, you know. I can't really think of anything else to say… Yes, I know Manami didn't join up with Izaya until much later in the novels, but there is a reason she's showing up now. As for the "Green Lights", they are a part of my story – they don't exist within the Naritaverse, as far as I know. Sōji-kun is from Etsusa Bridge. That's all I'll say for now. I'm tired… I'll post this as soon as I get home, I think, but for now I'm going to try and get the next chapter started. See you then, I suppose.


	14. Antecedents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I posted the last chapter about eight hours after I said I would. Oops. I don't really think it matters, though. Also, about this story: I keep getting requests for pairings (not often, but every now and then), mostly for Shizaya (surprise, surprise), and I want you guys to know that, while I'm totally cool with you guys letting me know what you want the final pairing to be, this is not a romance fic. In the actual series, there are maybe six official couples (Kida and Saki, Mikado and Anri, Shinra and Celty, Shingen and Emilia, Chikage and Non, and Kasuka and Ruri). There are pairings that are teased (Shizuo and Vorona, Mairu and Kururi and Aoba, Nasujima and Haruna, Walker and Erika, and Akabayashi and Sayaka). For Izaya, there are a number of people that he could potentially end up with (if he didn't die at the end of volume thirteen, which he probably didn't). He's teased with Namie, Mikage, Manami, Shinra, Shiki, Shinichi, and Shizuo (haha, "shishishishi" – like a little lion cub~), though he hates the last two. I personally ship one-sided Shinra/Izaya, because volume nine, but the most realistic pairing with him is with Manami, as she's one of the only people to truly understand him (if only because of what Shinra told her). To clarify, in volume thirteen, Manami ends up talking to Shinra, and he basically says, "He might seem cold-blooded, but he’s more human and his heart more brittle than anyone else. So much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it’d break easily. Which is why, I think, he chose from the start to avoid it all, to love humanity. You understand? Not to accept, not to face it. To avoid it." In this story, she ended up hearing this much earlier, as this story takes place before volume nine. The reason I'm mentioning this is because it's Shinra's words that cause Manami to help Kine save Izaya, even though she initially wanted him dead. That, coupled with the revelation that Izaya, when trolling suicidal girls, has to remind himself that he doesn't genuinely want to kill himself, gives us a lot of insight into Izaya's character. I personally believe that Manami's goal is to learn more about Izaya and connect with him; to save him the way he saved her – in a horrible, twisted exploitation of his feelings that ends up with him changing (not, like, becoming a better person, because that wouldn't be Izaya, but…). I do ship them, so, in this story, that's her motive: to find Izaya, destroy him like he destroyed her, and put him back together – to become his 'savior' the way he became hers. With all that said, enjoy the story!

Mamiya Manami had met Orihara Izaya a little over a year before she made up her mind to save him. He had made a suicide pact with her and one other girl, only to mock them, drug them, stuff them in suitcases, and have them dumped in the park. Manami had sworn to kill the bastard for messing with her, and she had patiently waited an entire year until Izaya's name and face had appeared on the television – the victim of a stabbing. She had gone to the hospital and attempted to stab him, but had been easily overpowered. For a moment, she had thought that she would be killed, but Izaya had happily embraced her, thanking her for reminding him how much he loved humanity and stating that he loved her.

Furious and embarrassed, Manami strove to learn as much about Izaya are possible – if she couldn't kill him, she would simply ruin his life. However, when she broke into his best friend's apartment, she had not expected to run into the doctor himself, returning from bringing lunch to one Yagiri Namie. She had explained what she was doing, tensed for a fight, but he had laughed and simply told her to use the front door next time. Unnerved, she had left, but, a few days later, her curiosity had gotten the better of her.

From the way Shinra spoke, it was very clear that no one had ever thought to talk to him about Izaya before – either because they were too dumb, they didn't want to piss off the Headless Rider, or maybe they had asked and he simply hadn't told them. She disliked that last one, as it implied that she was not a threat to Orihara Izaya, which she liked to think she was. However, his words had stuck with her, and she had found her opinion of Orihara Izaya changing. She no longer hated him – no, she pitied him. She pitied the man whose heart was so fragile that he'd had to lock it away to keep it safe. And it occurred to her that maybe he had made that suicide pact because he pitied her.

Manami would never know for sure until she found him, but that was fine with her. Orihara Izaya had torn her world to shreds – had ripped her from her whiny, teenage, self-pitying pedestal. But he had done so in a way that still allowed her to climb back up. In a way, he had saved her. And so, in return, she would save him. Yes, Manami decided, this is my gratitude – I will love you the way you loved me. And, maybe someday, we can both be whole again.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Kuzuhara Sōji had spotted his brother's crush (and almost every guy in his brother's class' crush, because _look at that girl_ ) crying, he had immediately taken it upon himself to follow her. Which, seeing as he was only twelve, had probably not been the best idea. But Sōji was going to be a cop, just like his dad, so he couldn't let something stupid like _age_ stop him. Hopping down from the stack of boxes he'd been standing on, he glanced around the corner of the warehouse, eyes narrowing as he saw the monster standing outside the door.

Sōji was not a stupid boy – he was fully aware that this creature was probably extremely dangerous, and could likely kill him in a heartbeat. But dammit, he was Kuzuhara Sōji! His dad was the man the Black Bike was terrified of! 'Monster' meant nothing to a Kuzuhara. Grinning, Sōji pulled out his cellphone.

{ _Hey, onee-chan! You know that girl nii-san keeps talking about? She's been kidnapped by some sort of monster! We're at those abandoned warehouses in just south of Ikebukuro, and I need a getaway car so I can save her and this guy that trapped in there with her! Help?_ } After a moment, his cousin responded.

{Kuzuhara Shunji: _Honestly, Sōji, what's wrong with you? I'll be there in a moment. Don't try being a hero without me, got that?_ }

{ _Got it! Thanks, onee-chan!_ } Pocketing his phone, Sōji climbed back up onto the stack of boxes, peering in through the window. The girl his brother liked – Airi, or something – was holding a limp form to her body, and shaking. Sōji let his grin slip away.

_Hurry up, cuz_ , he thought. _It's hero time_.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The Rotting Man was very loyal to Kujiragi Kasane, and would never dream of betraying her. She was the reason for its creation, and it loved her for that. It would do anything its Great Progenitor asked. However, the Rotting Man did not see her as its mother. She was its Great Progenitor – its god – but never anything like a mother. She was not the one who had slaved over its creation, and she was not the one that the Rotting Man had decided to protect.

For all its natural cruelty, the Rotting Man – it quite liked Orihara Izaya's nickname for it, and had decided to think of itself the same way until it earned itself a real name – did have people it cared about: its Great Progenitor, and its parents.

The Mother of the Rotting Man, the woman who had worked endlessly (albeit unwillingly) to bring it into existence, and the Father of the Rotting Man, the man it had been created from. These two were the only people that the Rotting Man placed on the same level as its Great Progenitor. Sonohara Anri, its beautiful mother, and Orihara Izaya, its cunning father.

The Rotting Man had the shape of a man (or something very similar), but it had the mind of a child. It was cruel, but that cruelty was the cruelty of a child burning ants with a magnifying glass just to see if it really worked. Perhaps the fact that it had been created from a man who only loved humans – and thus could never love his 'child' – had caused the Rotting Man's twisted version of love. It loved Father, but Father could not accept that love. And so, the Rotting Man had carved itself deep into Father's skin, so that Father would never forget about it.

The Rotting Man was capable of love, but it was also capable of hate. It hated the people who Mother and Father cared for, because they did not love it and never would. It hated Kida Masaomi and Yagiri Namie and Celty Sturluson and Kadota Kyōhei and Yumasaki Walker and Karisawa Erika and Togusa Saburo and Mikajima Saki and Celty Sturluson and Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Mairu and Orihara Kururi and Orihara Kyōko and Orihara Shirō and Orihara Natsu and Orihara Torakichi and Shiki Haruya and Akabayashi Mizuki and Kamichika Rio and Simon Brezhnev and _especially_ Kishitani Shinra and Ryūgamine Mikado.

However, more than those people, the Rotting Man hated the people who caused Mother and Father pain (only it and its Great Progenitor were allowed to do that). Mostly, it hated the demon blade known as Saika, though not as much as the doctor and the Dollars' leader. The Rotting Man had no way of hurting Saika, even if it had been allowed to do so. Thus, it simply allowed its hatred for the blade to grow, and decided that it would take its 'anger' (if one could call it that) out on something dispensable, something that its Great Progenitor didn't need. Adabashi Kisuke would probably suffice.

The Rotting Man allowed a 'grin' to stretch across its 'face'. _Playtime_.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The little girl sat alone on a swing. She wasn't exactly swinging, but she moved her legs enough so that the swing moved around just a little bit. A creaking noise to her left told her that someone had sat down on the swing next to her.

"You look sad," the little girl turned her head to see another girl, who looked around two years older.

"I'm not," she said, honestly. "Just bored, really." The other girl beamed.

"Well, then, let's be friends!!" she declared happily. "My name's Awakusu Akane! What's yours?" the first girl felt a small smile crawl across her face.

"Kanra. Just Kanra."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Orihara Kyōko was a perfectly normal human being. If a doctor were to examine her body or brain, that doctor would not be able to find a single unordinary thing about her. In fact, one might say that the only extraordinary thing about Orihara Kyōko was just how ordinary she was. When she was born, Kyōko had been so ordinary that she had completely escaped anyone's notice. She did not fade in to the wallpaper, but she did not stand out. She did not fail any of her classes, but she did not excel in them. She did not lack friends, but she did was not particularly close to anyone. And then, one day, the world's most ordinary girl met someone amazing.

Sayaka had thrown open doors to a world that Kyōko hadn't even known existed. Suddenly, the dull, gray _normalness_ had exploded into bright, vibrant colors of life. Sayaka found beauty in everything. She knew how to stand back and not be noticed, and she knew how to get everyone's attention. She failed some classes, but was at the top of others. She had no friends, but had still wormed her way into everyone's heart. Kyōko hated her.

Despite her resentment towards the other girl, Kyōko had still allowed Sayaka to grab her hand and tug her through fields of flowers, showing her how to identify each and every one. And, slowly, that deep-seated hatred turned into an unbreakable bond of friendship. Sayaka's allure was undeniable, and Kyōko could not even be bothered to quell the rising attraction between them.

They had been each other's first in every way imaginable. Sayaka was like the shining sun, her brown hair pulled into a ponytail, laughter lighting up the world. In stark contrast, Kyōko was the moon, her gentle smile quietly setting a soft glow to the dark night of her hair. In high school, the two best friends had defied tradition and gone to every school event with one another. They had talked about their futures – their big dreams. Sayaka wanted to be an antiques dealer. She was fascinated by the smallest things, and wanted to see as much of the world as possible through tiny little objects without ever moving from Japan. Kyōko, on the other hand, wanted to see the world without having to look through any lenses. She claimed not to care what her occupation was, so long as she could go anywhere and everywhere. Despite their different ideals, the two were as close as ever, even when Kyōko went off to the States for a semester in college.

And then, suddenly, Sayaka was getting married. Kyōko had been surprised to hear the news, and it seemed like not too long after the discovery, the two had had a double wedding, both brides beaming while the grooms smiled proudly.

Somehow, though, Kyōko had the first child. It had caught everyone by surprise, as the baby had apparently been conceived a couple months before the wedding, but had gone unnoticed. In honor of her best friend in the whole world, Kyōko gave her son a strange name, with strange spelling, hoping that he was never bored. When little Izaya was eight years old, however, Sayaka stopped calling. There was no longer any contact between the two friends.

Kyōko had assumed that Sayaka was mad at her for something, and had patiently waited for her friend to reestablish contact. Her son, however, was less patient. He went to visit his Auntie Saya at least once a week. Auntie Saya had told him that she was going to have a baby, but she had asked the child to not speak to his mother about the child. When the boy was nine, he met his new baby 'cousin', and gave her a tiny smile as she gummed at his finger.

Izaya became attached to the baby. He refused to speak of her to anyone, but whenever he visited, he would talk to her, about anything he could think of. He told her that the teachers had had to get him a special tutor for math, because he was far ahead of the other children in his school. He told her how delicious tuna was, and admitted that he wasn't all that fond of sweets. He explained to her that he had taken swimming lessons, but had never gotten the hang of it, which was why he did not like water. He confessed to the baby his discomfort concerning the eyes of dead fish, he told her the story of his mother bringing his cat back to life, and he told her of the time he got chewing gum on his shoe and his grandfather had shown him how to clean them.

And then, one day, Auntie Saya quietly told him that he had to stop visiting, that he couldn't visit the little girl anymore. He'd nodded solemnly, assuming that it was one of those things grownups just couldn't explain to kids. When he returned home that day, his parents had informed him that he was to be a big brother. He refrained from telling them that he already was, because even though he already had a little sister, he didn't think he'd mind a little brother too much. That, and he wanted to see how babies were born.

But the little brother never arrived, and the ten year old instead watched two squealing girls, covered in blood and other fluids, slipping into the world. He hated them immediately – he already had a little sister; he didn't need any more. He solemnly vowed to himself that he would never think of himself as their older brother. Yes, the only sister Orihara Izaya needed was Sonohara Anri.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

It was in the opinion of Kadota Kyōhei that almost everyone he knew was batshit insane. Kida Masaomi and Celty Sturluson were relatively sane, but that was no comfort, seeing as one ran a gang and the other didn't have a head. Back in high school, Kadota remembered very clearly a conversation with Orihara Izaya that he had often thought about. It wasn't a long conversation – more of a quick exchange.

" _Ne, Dotachin, did you know? It's said that your friends are the people more similar to you!_ "

" _I guess I don't have any friends,_ " Kyōhei had said flatly. Izaya had promptly glomped him, faux-sobbing about being unloved. Eventually Shizuo had shown up and Izaya had had to run, but Kadota had often thought about what Izaya had told him. He had thought, back then, that it was simply Izaya spouting off useless trivia, but, in hindsight, it might have been more than that. Izaya's only friend was Shinra, and the two were as different as socks and popsicles. In a sense, Kadota liked to think that he had provided Izaya with some comfort of a sort, though the two had barely interacted.

In the back seat of the van, Erika and Walker were discussing anime (and boy wasn't _that_ a shocker), and Togusa was outside, sipping a soda and reading a Hijiribe Ruri fan magazine. Kadota flipped open his cell phone, and checked the Dollars website. Someone – probably Mikado – had started a 'Has Anyone Seen Orihara Izaya?' thread, but there had yet to be any comments beyond vague curiosity and abstract theories. He sighed, snapping his phone shut. Somehow, it seemed that nothing interesting ever happened when he wanted it to.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty Sturluson was not a human being. She was, in fact, an Irish faerie, known as a Dullahan. A Dullahan was a faerie from the Unseelie Court, the dark faeries that were usually stereotyped as antagonistic towards humans. However, Celty had very little memory of anything beyond around a hundred years prior to her meeting Shinra.

She remembered bits and pieces, however. She remembered meeting a Leanann-Sìdhe, at some point, and she did not remember anything negative about the woman. She remembered meeting the Scottish warrior woman, Scathach, and befriending her, though she remembered very little of the time they had spent together. She had met trolls and goblins and demons and all sorts of odd creatures, but, somehow, the strangest creatures she had ever laid her eyes (or lack thereof) upon were the human beings in Ikebukuro, Japan.

The Sìdhe, remnants of the Tuatha Dé Danann, were the faerie people of Irish folklore, the _aos sìdhe_ – "people of the faerie mound". They lived beneath the hills, typically, and they were divided into two courts – the Seelie and the Unseelie. The Seelie were the kind, benevolent faeries, who granted humans favors. The Unseelie were the cruel, malicious faeries, the ones who played pranks at best and slaughtered innocents at worst. These were beings like the _Bean Sìdhe_ (more commonly known as the Banshee), the Dullahan (the headless horseperson, also known as _Gan Ceann_ ), and similar creatures.

However, not all Seelie were kind and not all Unseelie were cruel – there were always exceptions. Celty herself had never been particularly cruel. She had thrown buckets of blood over the heads of those foolish enough to open their doors for her, but she had never gone out of her way to cause trouble for anyone. Though the Celty of today was unaware of this, she had once been a well-known Dullahan, admired for her beauty. Most Dullahan, cruel creatures that they were, had features to match their actions – sneering, razor-sharp grins, and skin like moldy cheese.

The Celty Sturluson of today, however, did not care at all about Irish, Welsh, or Scottish folklore. All Celty cared about was finding her head (though that really wasn't a priority anymore, so long as it was safe), protecting her friends (mostly Shizuo, Anri, Mikado, and Kadota's gang), and keeping Shinra safe. She was not overly concerned with the troubles of some woman she didn't know, especially since she'd just gotten a text from Shizuo telling her that Shinra had been attacked.

However, this had been a request from Mikado, who would never have bothered her with this if it were trivial. After double-checking with Shizuo to make sure Shinra would be safe (and that the attacker would still be there to beat the shit out of when she got back), she changed directions and headed south.

Celty had people to save and asses to kick, and, at the moment, she wasn't really lacking in either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So this one took a little longer to come out, and I apologize for that. I hope you're not too bothered by the plot twists here, especially the one concerning Izaya and Anri. To clarify on that, I haven't changed their canon relationship much – they still dislike one another. Izaya remembers who Anri is, but dislikes her because he considers her a monster. He likely also blames himself for her becoming a monster, but probably doesn't dwell on that too much. As for Anri and the twins, they are completely unaware of their relation, so the cousin Kururi mentioned in an earlier chapter is someone else, as Anri is not biologically related to Izaya. Probably.
> 
> I first started to ship Izaya's mom with Anri's mom once I realized that their names were, respectively, Kyōko and Sayaka. There is literally no basis for this pairing, as we know next to nothing about either character, and I'm almost certainly the only person who ships it. Go ahead and judge me, I don't care – I'll be writing more fanfiction crap in Bel-Air. Ok, I made that last part up. Anyway, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them in reviews (or PMs, if you want, I don't really care) and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. If you don't have an account, have lost your password, or are just too lazy to log in, then I'll respond to your review in an Author's Note (that's what AN stands for, by the way). I really appreciate any and all feedback you give me, and I always enjoy constructive criticism. Hell, if you hate this story, go ahead and let me know – I don't mind flames. Also, it's pretty hard to offend me, so you can go ahead and say whatever you want. See you next time!


	15. Empty Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey all! Wow, this morning was kind of hectic, but I'll probably have forgotten all about it by the time I actually get around to posting this. Ah, also, I'm not sure if I've brought up anyone's specific ages in this story, but I know I did in I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault, where I accidently swapped Shizuo and Izaya's ages. For those of you who don't know, while Izaya's birthday is four months after Shizuo's (and in three days~), Izaya was born in '79, while Shizuo was born in '80, so Izaya is actually older. A lot of people aren't aware of this fact, so thank Novoux/Majora (Nora?) for reminding me. Also, the turkeys where I live are suicidal or something – they keep walking around in the road. Today, there was one with like twenty little babies when we came around the corner. It was quite a shock. Luckily, the lady who drives me is awesome and has pretty good reflexes, so we were able to avoid having that on our conscious. Also, I've got SATs tomorrow (bleh), and there was apparently going to be a student who needed extra time, so I was almost there for an extra three hours. Luckily, they dropped out, so that's not really a problem. Still, having to take a test on a Saturday is such a pain… Well, I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story! I'll try to have it up on May 4th in honor of Ono Daisuke-san. Oh, and Izaya too, I suppose. I should do something nice for the guy I spend twenty percent of my free time traumatizing, don't you think? For everyone who said they would read something I wrote, I'd like you to know that I am about to begin writing that, so that might occupy a bit of my time. Since I know English (shocking, right?), I'll also have an official English translation, though the first publication will likely be in Japanese (so, it won't get published until I improve my Japanese), but I'm very grateful to all of you who said they'd read it, even if you only said that to be nice. I'm thinking about using an alias, so I'd appreciate it if no one really mentioned that they knew me (I'm gonna see how long I can keep my "Secret Identity"; wouldn't it be funny if I wrote fanfiction for my own series? Totally going to use that to screw with people). Also, remember those color gangs? We might need to do some damage control, to put it bluntly.

Sometimes, Takiguchi Ryō wondered if he only existed to get the shit beaten out of him. Another foot slammed into his gut, and he flinched. _Yeah. Definitely going to start taking some self-defense. Maybe that first year girl can introduce me to someone – I heard she takes martial arts. What was her name? It was a weird one… something about origami_ …

"Are you ignoring me, you piece of shit?" the guy demanded, kicking Ryō yet again. Ryō thought that maybe he should consider becoming a psychologist. Then he might be able to talk his way out of situations like this. He was pretty sure Orihara Izaya could give lessons on talking your way out of things, if he ever showed up again. Well, it was either that, or fava beans and Chianti, really.

"I'm not ignoring you," Ryō answered, honestly. "I'm actually trying to ignore the fact that you're beating the living shit out of me. Could you stop, please? I'd recommend some anger management lessons. Maybe talk to that Heiwajima guy."

"Fuck you!" Ah. Mr. Foot, meet Mr. Stomach. Man, this guy had no creativity.

"Please stop kicking me," Ryō said politely. Mentally, he wondered when he'd gotten so snarky. To be honest, it was probably the fact that he was hoping the guy would just knock him out already. Then, someone might take him to the hospital.

"Pardon me," a girl spoke up. "You're with the Yellow Scarves, right?" the guy spun around, leering at the newcomer.

"That's right," he sneered. "You've heard of us?"

"I live in Ikebukuro," the girl pointed out. "That, and my boyfriend is your boss." There was an awkward silence.

"You're Kida's girlfriend?" the guy demanded. Ryō pulled himself up.

"Wait, Kida-kun is the leader of the Yellow Scarves?" he asked, looking at the girl. "Hang on, I know you!" she smiled.

"Yes, we met in the hospital." She said happily. "I'm Mikajima Saki, and you're Takiguchi Ryō."

"I know I am." Ryō responded. The guy who had been beating him up offered him a hand.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't realize that you were a friend of Shogun's. It's hard to tell who's just with the Dollars and who's with us. Just don't tell Kida, alright?" For a moment, Ryō thought about knocking away the guy's hand, but he wasn't an asshole, so he allowed himself to be helped up.

"Don't worry about it," he decided. "I'm not with the Scarves, but I'm not an active member of the Dollars either, seeing as that's not how the Dollars works."

"Do you need a doctor?" Saki asked. "I know a guy." Ryō waved her off.

"Nah, I'm fine." He said. "I spend half my life getting beat up anyway." Saki laughed, and Ryō managed a smile. _Kida-kun has good taste_. The Yellow Scarves guy looked back and forth between them, and then decided to make himself scarce.

"How about a self-defense instructor?" Saki teased, looking very amused. "I was thinking about taking some lessons, and my guardian's ex happens to run a dojo." Ryō grinned.

"Sounds great," he responded. "You ran into some gang trouble too, I take it?"

"I spent some quality time with the Blue Squares," Saki said, falling into step with him. "Hospitalized for over two years, though I was actually faking for a bit…"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The man underneath the bag shifted uncomfortably, trying to tune out the obviously insane "Earthworm". He absently wondered how she'd react when she found out who he was, though he doubted she'd recognize him after all the plastic surgery he'd gone through.

"Your daddy and mommy are working in business overseas, aren't they?" the crazed woman almost sang. "Too bad we can’t go overseas to pick them up… but no problem, you still have two cute little sisters. I think they’re called Kururi-chan and Mairu-chan, right?" The man felt his hands clench into fists. He doubted that the real Orihara Izaya would care too much, but Nakura – for that was his name – was not comfortable with putting two little girls in danger, even if they were as scary as hell.

"He can't talk, boss," someone said, and Nakura tried to turn his head towards the voice – he wasn't all that comfortable with the situation he was in, especially since he couldn't be certain that he would actually be released.

"My friends are going to pick them up now," Earthworm told him, ignoring her subordinate. I'm sure you're looking forward to seeing them, being the loving older brother that you are. Am I right, Izaya onii-chan?"

Underneath the bag, Nakura bit his lip and hoped that he wasn't about to be tortured to death.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

As soon as he saw his cousin's car turning around the corner, Kuzuhara Sōji leapt into action. Using a small pocketknife with a serrated blade, he sawed through the latch and forced the window open. Quickly surveying the interior of the warehouse, Sōji slid inside, landing with a soft 'thud'. With a startled gasp, the girl inside looked up at him, her eyes wide. Grinning, Sōji put his finger to his lips.

"I'm Luke Skywalker," he told her. "I'm here to save you." She stared at him blankly. "Sorry, I just always wanted to say that."

"You need to get out of here," the girl whispered, nervously glancing over her shoulder. "There's a–"

"Monster?" Sōji shrugged. "Yeah, I saw it. That's kinda why we need to move."

"I…" the girl hesitated, and then heaved the limp form over her shoulders. "I can't come with you, but I can help you get him out of here." Sōji blinked.

"I can't just leave a pretty lady behind," he protested. "Especially not if she's in danger. It's Airi, right? You're in my big bro's class."

"Anri," she corrected. "And don't tell me your name. I'd go with you if I could, but I can't risk it. Trust me, please." Sōji nodded.

"Then I'll take him to the car myself," he decided, taking the young man from the girl with surprising ease. "I'm stronger than I look," he added. "I don't want you to get in trouble, so we'll just say I took him and you weren't involved." Shunji's face appeared in the window, and she extended her arms. Carefully, Sōji helped his cousin lift the unconscious man out of the warehouse.

"Listen," Anri grabbed his arm. "You're Kuzuhara-kun's little brother, right? I heard your dad was a police officer, so I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"I'll give you the address of a doctor – he's really good – but an illegal one. I'd also like it if you didn't mention your surname, since your dad likes to chase his girlfriend around." Anri whispered all this very quickly, her anxiety causing her to abandon her polite speech. She glanced over her shoulder again. "Don't keep him there for too long, all right? Make sure to move him somewhere safe – but don't tell me, okay? The next time you meet me, I might not be myself."

"Like, a split personality?" Sōji asked, confused. Anri nodded.

"Something like that," she agreed. The warehouse door rattled suddenly, and Anri flinched. "Hurry!" she hissed. "If you see anyone – including me – with glowing red eyes, drop everything and run. Got it?" Sōji nodded solemnly, accepting the small piece of paper with the address of the illegal doctor. Turning, he scrambled back out the window, running to his cousin's car. As they drove to the specified location, Sōji felt his fists clench.

 _Anri-san… I'll definitely save you_!

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kuzuhara Shunji had no idea what was going on. She knew that her cousin needed her help, and she knew that the person in the back of the car needed medical attention immediately. She also knew where they were going. She didn't know anything else. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she felt her lips twitch as she watched Sōji hold the injured man's hand, trying to comfort him.

She wasn't sure how she felt about taking someone to an underground doctor, especially seeing as her uncle was a policeman. Still… Shunji bit her lip, her grip on the steering wheel tightening. When she learned a little bit more about what was going on, she decided, that was when she'd choose whether or not to inform her uncle of the whereabouts of an illegal doctor and the Headless Rider. Shaking her head, Shunji forced herself to keep her eyes on the road as she turned around the corner, barely even noticing the dark motorcycle zooming past.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty Sturluson pulled to a halt in front of Ikebukuro Station, looking around for the woman she was supposed to meet. Ignoring the whispers and the sound of pictures being taken, Celty hopped off of Shooter, giving him a kind pat.

"Rider-san?" Celty turned to see a woman with short blonde hair, blue eyes, and freckles. Offhandedly, she recognized that the woman's accent was similar to Simon's. The woman took a deep breath, looking very nervous.

 

[[How can I help you?]] Celty typed, holding up her PDA. The woman shifted.

"I have friend named Hiro," she explained. "He very sick. I ask what to do; he say find 'Sinra'. I do not know what that is, so he say come find you." Celty hesitated.

[[What's wrong with him?]] She asked, wondering what Shinra had to do with any of this. [[I know Shinra, but I don't think he's ever mentioned anyone called Hiro.]] The woman gave a nervous smile.

"Hiro very young," she explained. "He not tell me name, so I give him one. I think you maybe know him with different name?" The woman bit her lip. "Please Rider-san, I worried! Help, I beg you!" Celty nodded.

[[Hop on.]] She said. [[Let's go help this friend of yours.]]

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Shoro: Hey, Chrome-san hasn't been here for a while.

Tanaka Tarō: That's true…

-Kanra-san has entered the chat-

Setton: Kanra-san? Or are you that troll again?

Kanra: Neither. I'm only here to send a message. First, I want you all to know that I don't like getting involved. I'm only doing this out of boredom.

Kyo: Doing what? Don't tell me that this new Kanra-san is secretly some sort of sexual deviant who only came online to harass young women like San and I! My, you're absolutely awful, Kanra-san! Almost as bad as Shoro-san, but I can't really deny my curiosity as to what you're doing here.

San: Curious.

Shoro: …Motor mouth.

Kanra: I know that at least a few of you are curious about the whereabouts of one Orihara Izaya.

Shoro: If by 'whereabouts' you mean 'grave that I can dance and piss on'.

San: Cruel.

Bakyura: Eh, I'm with Shoro-san on this one.

Saki: LOL. I'm interested, though.

Kanra: I figured you would be.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been this. In the Russian woman's small apartment was a young boy who looked completely miserable. It wasn't unprecedented, though – the boy was obviously in quit a bit of pain. Celty was no doctor, but she was fairly certain that a young boy (he looked about nine or ten) should not have the arm of a toddler and the fingers of a grown man. Siri made a hissing sound.

" _Are you alright_?" she asked. Celty glanced back and forth between the two.

" _Been better_ ," he responded. " _I think it stopped, though_." The boy turned to look at Celty. "The Headless Rider…" Celty nodded.

[[You can call me Celty,]] she told him. The boy frowned.

"I can't seem to read that," he confessed. "One of my eyes is… wrong." Celty nodded again, and then turned to Siri.

[[What happened?]] She asked. Siri carefully read the message, and then shook her head.

"Do not know," she admitted. "It just happened out of nowhere. No explanation available." If Celty had a mouth, she would have frowned.

[[I know a doctor,]] she told Siri after a moment. [[He's never dealt with anything like this, to the best of my knowledge, but he does know a few people.]]

"Wonderful!" Siri exclaimed. The boy tried to stand, but his legs did not feel like cooperating, and he crashed to the floor. Right before he hit the ground, Celty's shadows swarmed him, cushioning his fall.

[[Tell him to get some rest,]] Celty wrote. [[We'll be there in no time.]]

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

He was not sure what he was doing, but it was odd for him to not tell his partner when he got a mission that could potentially conflict with hers. Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts aside, assuming mindlessly that there was a reason for it, even if he had forgotten what it was. The large man, spotting his target, stood up. His eyes glowed a frightening blood red color.

Meanwhile, at Kishitani Shinra's apartment, the Russian assassin known only as Vorona felt a sense of foreboding at the shiver that ran down her spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, I finally finished this chapter (bleh, took way too long), but not in time for Izaya's birthday. Sorry. Initially, the story was going to just end with the chatroom (which would have been about a page and a half longer), but there were some inconsistencies with my plans (again, I use that word very loosely), so that didn't happen. Okay, so, Kanya is Kujiragi (It's basically 'Kanra', except with Kujiragi's trademark 'nya'), and, for those of you who don't know, Shoro is Mairu's martial arts teacher, Sharaku Eijirou, who is the younger of Mikage's two older brothers.  
> Also, yes, the Kanra in this chapter is Tsukumoya. There sure are a lot of people named 'Kanra', aren't there? I mean, we've got a cat, a little girl, and two people in the chatroom… I think it's interesting that no one's commented on that, but still… ah, and for those of you wondering about Kyōko and the Rotting Man… as revealed last chapter, she's technically his granny. That's all the relation the two have. Insert troll face here. So some of the characters in the canon storyline (on AO3, anyway) have yet to show up (like Kaztano, Yodogiri, Slon, Igor, Drakon, Lingerin, Aozaki, Kazamoto, Mikiya, Dōgen, Chikage, Non, Rio, Namiko, Keichiro, Max, Kinnosuke and a bunch of Aoba's gang), some of them have only appeared in the chatroom (like Aoba and Akabayashi), and some have not had nearly enough screentime (like the Van Gang, the twins, Izaya's parents and grandparents, Ruri and Kasuka, Mikado and Masaomi, Seiji and Mika, Izaya himself, Adabashi, and Akane). Basically, I've been focusing on Shizuo, Vorona, Celty, Shinra, Namie, the Rotting Man, Kujiragi, Anri, Siri, Hiro, and Saki, which I sort of apologize for. I will be bringing in the other characters very soon, but Kanra suddenly demanded her own little subplot, and Sōji and Shunji are going to be important for at least one more chapter.  
> Sorry for such a long note! To make up for it, let's do something interesting! How about a list of your top ten Durarara characters! To begin, here's my list:
> 
> Orihara Izaya – 17 points  
> Heiwajima Shizuo – 13 points  
> Kishitani Shinra – 12 points  
> Celty Sturluson, Yagiri Namie, Karisawa Erika – 10 points  
> Ryūgamine Mikado – 9 points  
> Mikajima Saki – 8 points  
> Vorona – 7 points  
> Kuronuma Aoba – 6 points  
> Kida Masaomi – 5 points  
> Chikage Rokujo – 4 points  
> Sonohara Anri, Kadota Kyōhei – 3 points  
> Yumasaki Walker – 2 points  
> Awakusu Akane – 1 point
> 
> That's not to say I don't like other characters, of course, but those are my top ten. What are yours? Let me know (PM or comment, whatever) and I'll post the winners next chapter. My bet is that Izaya and Shizuo will top the list, but hey – you never know. See you soon (hopefully)!


	16. Prima Donnas of the Gutter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay, so at the time of my writing this intro, only one person has mentioned their favorites (not counting yours truly, of course), presumably because no one reads Author's Notes even when I yell at them, so I thought I'd clear something up – your vote counts, even after I've posted this chapter. If you give me your top ten years after this story is completed, I will still go edit the results to add in your opinion, so don't feel rushed. If you're just being lazy, though, shame on you. The grading system is as follows: ten points for first place, nine points for second place, eight points for third place, seven points for fourth place, and so on and so forth. Also, I've noticed that a lot of authors like asking for reviews. So my opinion is that, if you expect people to review your story, you should review other stories as well. That's why I'm going to try and review as much as I can from now on. Lastly, I can't promise when this chapter or the next one will be up, because it's the end of the school year and finals start this Friday. So… yeah, there's that. Oh, and…
> 
> I also got a review from someone called 'Hayne'. Since they're a guest, I can't PM them with a response, so I hope they don't mind if I respond here: Dear Hayne: If it's any comfort at all, I'm just as lost as you are. Thanks for taking the time to review this craziness. –EK3
> 
> WARNING! This chapter is not a pleasant one. Remember how Izaya lost his left arm? Well, that happens. Actually, this whole chapter is pretty gruesome.

"Hey, cuz, why do you think Sonohara-san wanted us to go to an underground doctor?" Sōji wondered. "I mean, my dad's a _cop_." Shunji sighed.

"That should be obvious," she scolded. "Not only is there something supernatural involved, but going to a normal hospital would make Orihara-san a lot easier to find."

"Orihara-san?" Sōji looked down at the unconscious man. Shunji glanced over her shoulder in surprise.

"You don't recognize him?" she asked. "He's that info broker in Shinjuku. My agency has gotten his help a couple times. He's kind of an asshole, but he's damn good at what he does."

"I thought info brokers were scum who helped out criminals," Sōji said.

"Nope," Shunji responded. "That's the stereotype, though. It's true that informants often work on the… less favorable side of the law, but they aren't really limited to criminals. A person with a job like that almost always works freelance, and informants just sell information to anyone with the money to buy it. Most of them are expensive, but Orihara-san's prices are almost absurd. Like most, he charges based on how difficult – and how illegal – the information was to obtain, but he also charges more if the client bores him. Of course, he follows his own rules, so he also discounts people he finds especially interesting."

"Is that even legal?" Sōji asked. Shunji laughed.

"Technically, yes," she said, grinning. "I'll tell you more later, alright? Right now, I need you to make sure I've got the right address."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

_The first thing to go is the nail of his left pinky, followed by the other nails, one at a time. Then a knuckle and another and another and another and another until his left hand doesn't have any fingers left at all. The skin on the hand is removed slowly, methodically, and he screams so much that he can't talk for days. Then there's alcohol and salt and lemons and it's the worst pain imaginable. They don't cut the hand off until he begs them too because that couldn't possibly hurt as much. It doesn't, but the relief of at least a little agony doesn't last._

_His wrist-stump gets infected almost immediately, and they cut that off too, even though he'd much rather just die from the infection. He passes out from the pain when the entire forearm is gone, and he wakes up to red eyes glaring and demanding to know where Celty's head is. He wonders how they expect him to talk, seeing as he's screamed himself hoarse, but he doubts that he would have told them anyway. He likes Celty (though he can't love her, not like his beautiful humans), but it's Shinra that matters – Shinra, who is his only friend, who is the only person he's ever truly cared for, who would sell him out in a heartbeat if Celty asked, who he's been in love with since middle school, who they want him to betray._

_He spits in the bitch's face, and he's never been prouder of himself._

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty tried to ignore Siri's arms around her and the misshapen boy covered in shadows and sandwiched between them as she tried to think of how on earth Shinra would be able to help. If Izaya were still around then maybe they could at least learn a little more about whatever the hell was wrong with the poor kid, but Izaya hadn't been seen since Namie's near death experience.

Siri, on the other hand, was focused almost entirely on the two people in front of her – one a mysterious figure of the city that she'd never dreamed she'd be able to meet and the other a young boy who'd somehow become one of the most important people in her life.

Hiro, who had not been able to get the rest Celty had recommended, stared blearily at the world zooming passed, trying to ignore the headache he was getting from one of his eyes being twice the size of the other. Despite barely being able to focus on anything, he was the only one of the three who saw the red-eyed man barreling out of nowhere straight towards them.

He didn't even have time to scream.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Slon slammed his body into the moving bike, sending it skidding across the street, its occupants flying off. Celty managed to catch herself and Siri in a bundle of shadows, and suspended the shadow ball Hiro was already incased in to protect the boy. Shooter had not escaped unscathed, but one look at her beloved horse showed that he would be all right. Righting herself, Celty turned to face the enormous man, whose eyes glowed a bright red. Celty stared in horror as realization dawned. _This is… Anri-chan? But… why would she do this? Anri-chan…_ However, there was no time to think. Slon rotated to face the terrified Hiro, completely ignoring Celty.

Squirming out of Celty's shadow ball, Siri rushed forward, throwing herself between Hiro and the possessed Russian assassin. Slon began to stalk forward, a manic grin forming on his face.

" _I found you,_ " he said. Celty paused, realizing that his tone was different from Anri's Saika-possessed 'children'. In the split second that Celty was off-guard, Slon threw himself forward, one arm stretched towards Siri. In a flash, he had grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the sidewalk, similar to how Yagiri Seiji had injured Harima Mika over a year earlier. Slon, however, was a lot stronger than Seiji was, and Siri's head might as well have been made of tinfoil. If there was a bright side to the whole scenario, Celty would later think, it was that at least Siri had not felt anything as the left side of her face was introduced to the inside of her skull.

To his credit, Hiro did not scream. Instead, he made a small squeaking noise, staring horrified at Siri's corpse. One arm – the one with more proportional fingers for a ten-year-old – reached towards her body, even as Slon advanced. Celty too was frozen in shock. She had never seen anything so brutal, and she knew in her metaphorical heart that Siri had not deserved to die. Slon's manic, unfitting grin widened as he reached for the terrified Hiro.

And then, Vorona shot him.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

In all honesty, Vorona was not sure how she felt when she killed the person who, for a long time, had been the closest thing she had had to a friend. She felt a little bit of sadness, but she also felt justified – Slon had gotten a mission _and he hadn't told her_. They always told one another when they received missions, either because they needed backup or because they needed to make sure that their missions didn't conflict.

Beyond all else, however, Vorona was furious. Not because her friend had betrayed her, not because their missions actually _had_ been conflicting for once, and certainly not because he had killed some random woman. No, Vorona was angry because the look on Slon's face had not been his own. Slon's smiles were usually small, and the big ones were just goofy, like when he solved a 'mystery'. That smile had not been Slon's. His eyes were wrong as well – Slon had pale eyes, the color of which Vorona had never really thought about much, but they were certainly not red.

Vorona was angry because someone had forced her to kill her closest friend (or, at least, something that looked a lot like him). She was fairly certain she knew who it was. After all, she'd only ever seen one person whose eyes glowed bright red.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Ryūgamine Mikado had formed the Dollars, he had never intended for it to be anything more than a joke. However, the online gang had evolved, and become something that he wasn't sure he understood. And so, in order to keep up with it, Mikado himself had also evolved. Perhaps this darker side of himself had been there the entire time and he simply hadn't noticed, or perhaps it had grown from his refusal to allow _his gang_ to leave him behind.

And now, Mikado was, slowly but surely, seizing power from within. The Dollars had more or less form a solitary unspoken rule – the "admin" is the boss, and the boss was to be respected. It was not a rule that technically had to be followed, as that went against everything that made the Dollars what it was, but not following it was just as inappropriate. In a sense, Ryūgamine Mikado had taken over Tokyo using only his cell phone, a laptop, and a play on the word 'daradara'.

Mikado was fully aware that Orihara Izaya was not a wonderful person. He was also aware that, for some reason, Izaya had taken a liking to him. In a sense, Izaya was a friend – an odd, eccentric friend that gave you discounts but never let you forget that he was charging. Almost a brother, in a strange way, though Mikado had no siblings and thus had no idea what having an older brother was actually like.

Regardless, Orihara Izaya was a member of the Dollars, and Mikado took care of his own. It was time, the teen thought, for Ikebukuro to learn just how powerful the "admin" of the Dollars really is.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The gym was closed. This was not a huge problem, but it was strange, because Saki had doubled checked the times it was open, and she couldn't think of any reason it wouldn't be.

"Hey!" Saki and Ryō turned around to see a man – probably in his late twenties – walking towards them. "You kids here for lessons?"

"Yes, we are," Saki responded. "Are you Sharaku Eijirō-sensei?" He smiled and nodded.

"That's me," he agreed. "Well, one of them, anyhow. My sister is out at the moment. She said she was closing up the gym for the day, but she wouldn't explain why, so I came down to check." He gave Saki a once over, and his eyes narrowed.

"You're that bastard's kid," he said finally. Saki blinked.

"Is there a resemblance?" she asked, genuinely curious. "I'm adopted, though, so Izaya-san is more like an older brother." Eijirō shook his head.

"Nah, just instinct." He responded. "Well, whatever. I won't judge you based on your asshole 'brother', so long as you don't start shit." Saki smiled.

"I don't usually start fights," she said cheerfully. "I came here to learn how to end them, after all." Ryō turned towards her.

"Would 'Izaya-san' happen to be Orihara Izaya?" the boy asked nervously.

"He won't hurt you," Saki told him, smiling happily. "I can be very… persuasive." Eijirō laughed.

"I like you, kid." He said, grinning. "Let's get you signed up for lessons. I'll take any excuse I can get to have that bastard lose money."

"You can charge him for both of us," Saki said. Ryō let out a yelp.

"N-no, I couldn't!" he protested. Saki laughed again.

"He's the reason you were in the hospital, in a sense." She said. "Besides, this is what he gets for disappearing like that."

"Disappearing?" Eijirō asked. "So _that's_ where Mikage is. Can't believe she's not over him yet."

"Won't Orihara-san be angry?" Ryō worried. Saki shook her head, smile turning slightly mischievous.

"Like I said, I can be _very_ persuasive."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

Kishitani Shingen, reborn!

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

My, things sure are heating up. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. I assume this means you know what's going on in Ikebukuro.

**Kishitani Shingen**

Indeed. However, I'm actually contacting you to ask for a favor.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

I don't get involved, Shingen. I'm not Orihara Yumcha.

**Kishitani Shingen**

Is that what you call him? My, no wonder he doesn't like you very much.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

Rather hypocritical, don't you think?

**Kishitani Shingen**

Perhaps. Anyway, all I need you to do is drop some info to a certain chatroom. I'm sure I don't have to tell you which.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

What's with the sudden concern about Orihara? Don't tell me you honestly care about your son's best friend?

**Kishitani Shingen**

I'm not sure where you got that idea, but it doesn't matter.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

What am I getting out of all this, Shingen? I'm not going to get involved for nothing, you know.

**Kishitani Shingen**

I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish. You must be aware that you are also an "obstacle", right? What's the point of refusing to help?

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

Hm. You may be right, but… actually, isn't that ironic, coming from you? I mean, you're the guy after the head of his son's girlfriend, aren't you? Does little Shinra-kun even know? Or am I wrong and you don't have the head?

**Kishitani Shinge, confirmed dead!**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

Talk about the cold shoulder.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Orihara Shirō was not a man of many words. He deeply believed that actions spoke more than words, and he preferred to observe everything silently and let his wife do the talking. When his son had been born, Shirō had worried that he would not be a good father – worried that his child would grow up estranged from his quiet, hardly noticeable father. However, his son had, for the first few years of his life, been just as quiet. Izaya rarely spoke as a child, in stark contrast the chatterbox he had become as a teenager (and wasn't _that_ strange; kids were loud and teens were moody, not the other way around). Unlike his father, though, Izaya's silence was less contemplative and more condescending. Izaya looked down on the people around him – he was not silent because he had nothing to say, he was silent because he didn't believe that anyone around him had the right to know what was going on in his head.

Even now, Shirō knew, his son did not like to allow anyone to know what he was thinking. Izaya could talk for hours on end without actually saying anything at all. And, in all honesty, Shirō didn't know how to handle that. He could handle Mairu's unending stream of dialogue, and he could handle Kururi's barely spoken words, but he did not know what to make of his son. Perhaps that was why, when he had learned that his son had been stabbed, he had complied with Mairu's suggestion not to bother visiting.

Sometimes, though, Shirō wondered what would have happened if he hadn't.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Mikage ran a hand through her hair, looking at the mess around her. Izumii was glowering at her, still annoyed that she hadn't allowed him to rape that crazy Earthworm bitch, Haruna was dancing around the room and humming to herself, Nakura was rubbing his wrists and glancing nervously at the others, Manami was leaning against the wall and chewing her lip, Kine had the aforementioned Earthworm's unconscious body slung over his shoulder, and the members of Dragon Zombie were watching her and awaiting new orders. Sighing, she turned to Nakura.

"You're with us, right?" she asked. He laughed mirthlessly.

"Do I have a choice?" he sneered bitterly. "Look, I'll help you, but you make sure Orihara-kun takes me off his shit list, got that?" Mikage smiled.

"I'll do my best," she promised. "I wouldn't worry, though; he usually listens to me." Haruna giggled.

"That's 'cause you'll beat him up if he doesn't~" she sang. Mikage shook her head at the girl's antics.

"What should I do with this girl?" Kine asked. Izumii opened his mouth, lips twisting into a grin. "Ran-kun, when I want your opinion, I'll–" Kine stopped and thought for a moment. "I'll never want your opinion."

"Fuck you," Izumii grumbled. "Can't believe I'm fuckin' helpin' you people."

"'You people'," Mikage repeated. She sighed. "Whatever, Izumii. I don't care what you do so long as you stop trying to stick your dick into anything that moves."

"I'd like to…" Ran's grumble trailed off into unintelligible insults, which was probably for the best, as Mikage didn't really feel like getting arrested for murder.

"Look on the bright side," Manami spoke up. "You get to trash this dump."

"True," Izumii grinned. "That's _definitely_ a plus."

"Don't forget the spray paint," Mikage added. Izumii rolled his eyes, and lifted his hand, shaking the bottle of neon green spray paint. Grin widening, he pushed the nozzle, creating a bright stream of color on the wall. _Green Lights_.

"Ma'am," the leader of Dragon Zombie stepped forward. Mikage turned to look at him. "Our guys – the ones who were trailing those two girls – just got back."

"Are Mairu and Kururi safe?" she asked, feeling a bit of worry for her student and her student's sister. The leader nodded.

"Yeah, they're fine." He hesitated. "Apparently they're hanging with Hanejima Yūhei and Hijiribe Ruri." Mikage laughed.

"Then they're probably having the time of their lives," she said, shaking her head. "That's good, though. It means Heiwajima is taking this seriously." Taking a deep breath, Mikage's eyes narrowed. "Now then." Rolling her shoulders back, the martial artist cracked her knuckles. "Let's get to work."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And that's a wrap! Geez, this one took a while. Blame finals, 'kay? Only a couple people bothered to tell me their favorite characters, so the poll isn't as developed as it will be later. Remember, you can let me know whenever. Also, only one person responded about whether or not they wanted a rape flashback, so that might be showing up pretty soon. I've never written any sort of sex scene besides what's implied in 'We Are the Night', so… don't get your hopes too high, ne? Also, I should make something very clear: remember when Anri said it had only taken a little more than three days to 'break' Izaya? Well, that's Anri's opinion. To her, Izaya 'broke' on the fourth day, but I doubt Izaya would be so quick to acknowledge something like that, and Kujiragi doesn't seem like the type of person who does things half-assed. Actually, when he really 'broke' is up to you – hell, maybe to you he's not broken at all.
> 
> I plan to have Namie play a bigger role in the next chapter, and Ruri's pursuers will show up as well, probably. The only thing I can say for sure is that Hiro will probably be extremely traumatized. >:D
> 
> Anyhow, here's the result of the poll (which, again, will be updated every time someone new contributes):
> 
> Orihara Izaya – 27 points  
> Celty Sturluson – 24  
> Ryūgamine Mikado – 23 points  
> Heiwajima Shizuo – 22 points  
> Kishitani Shinra – 20 points  
> Yagiri Namie – 19 points  
> Karisawa Erika - 17  
> Sonohara Anri – 13 points  
> Kida Masaomi, Kuronuma Aoba – 11 points  
> Kadota Kyōhei – 9 points  
> Mikajima Saki – 8 points  
> Vorona – 7 points  
> Yumasaki Walker – 5 points  
> Chikage Rokujo, Akabayashi Mizuki – 4 points  
> Hijiribe Ruri – 3 points  
> Awakusu Akane, Simon Brezhnev, Tanaka Tom – 1 point
> 
> As expected, Izaya tops the list. :) See you next time!
> 
> Ooh, hang on, one last thing! I've gotten a few comments saying they think I write like Narita-sensei… that's really flattering, guys! But, if the psychological aspect of this fic is what gets you, then I recommend "It Just Happened" by ZS Fan. Not only is the writing almost exactly like the original novels, everyone's perfectly in character (it's a Shizaya fic, by the way). While the story has been discontinued until further notice, the work itself and, more importantly, the author's notes relating to the psyche of the characters is definitely worth the read. So… go check that out!


	17. Summer's Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I forgot to post chapter seventeen I am so so so so sorry please don't hate me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I won't have a lot of time to write this summer, so I'm taking this chance to let you all know that. I have an internship that starts tomorrow (or possibly in the past, depending on when I got around to posting this), two vacations (one of which is out of the country), some driving bullcrap (which shouldn't take more than an hour or so), and a billion other things that are grabbing at my attention. Anyhow, I'll do my best to update as much as I can, which might not be that much. Sorry. I've gotten a few more reviews about how fucked up and confusing this story is, which to me means that I'm doing it right. It's no fun if I actually explain things, now is it. Also, I'm thinking about writing a crack fic for the Free! Iwatobi Swim Club/Free! Eternal Summer fandom, because why the fuck not. I won't bother with that for a bit, though. What else… I kinda thought I'd covered this, but I guess not, so let me say it again: this is not a Shizaya fic. It is a fic with a possibility of eventual Shizaya, but this is not a shipping fic. Why? Well, to be honest, it's because I'm not good at writing those. I like a more psychological aspect, and I find most romance-only stories to be rather dull. I specialize in silly fics and disturbing fics, not fluffy fics. In this story, the most romance will be around Kida/Saki, because that's my OTP and I love them. There will also be Shinra/Celty and Mikado/Anri, because they're canon, and there's already a little bit of Vorona/Shizuo, which is, as of now, one-sided. Remember, Durarara is a twisted love story, but it's a twisted love story that doesn't focus too heavily on romance. With all that said, please enjoy this chapter.

Mairu and Kururi were not, in fact, having the time of their lives. While they were thrilled to be hanging with their idol (and his girlfriend), they were also running for their lives. Mairu paused to spin-kick one of their pursuers into four other pursuers, and Ruri broke the neck of another with a crack. Kasuka and Kururi, each wielding one of Kururi's tasers, stood back to back, scanning the area.

"Are there more?" Kasuka asked. Ruri inhaled deeply.

"I don't think so." She replied. One of the men Mairu had taken down reached up and grabbed her ankle. Kururi and Kasuka simultaneously tased him and he slumped to the ground.

"Potential… terminated… (I think we just killed that guy)" Kururi murmured.

"He had it coming," Mairu responded. The two adults looked down at the two teenagers, wondering why two fifteen-year-old girls didn't seem to have a problem with murder. In the end, nobody brought it up.

"I suppose you'd like to know who those people are," Ruri said quietly. This was it – the moment they found out what she _really_ was, rejected her, cast her aside, threw her away in disgust–

"Not really," Mairu said flippantly. "It doesn't really matter, does it?" The young girl met the idol's hazel eyes with her own red ones. "After all, Kuru-nee and I said we'll protect you, and these guys were trying to hurt you." Kururi nodded.

"Assist… girlfriend… (We have to help Yūhei-san's girlfriend)" she explained simply. Ruri blinked as quickly as she could to dispel the tears before they fell.

"But I'm a monster," she said quietly. Mairu snorted.

"So what?" she asked. "Celty-san is a monster, Shizuo-san is a monster, Iza-nii is one of the most horrible people ever, etc. How are you any worse?"

"I wouldn't say that nii-san is any more of a monster than I am," said Kasuka.

"There you have it then," Mairu chirped. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, eyes glinting. "Now let's get moving before more of them show up. I know a guy."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The white-hot rage coursing through Vorona's veins wasn't doing much for her patience. However, the Black Bike's shadows, which had currently incased all but her head in a cocoon, were probably a worse offender.

"I request immediate release," Vorona hissed, trying to keep her cool.

[[Not happening,]] the monster before her wrote. [[You were his partner, right? Why did he attack us?]] Vorona scowled.

"My intentions, they are to discover this," she snarled. "Will interrogate monster girl with red eyes." Celty froze, staring at the assassin.

[[You stay away from Anri-chan!]] She wrote furiously.

"Is not possible," Vorona retorted. "Slon's eyes, they were red. I affirm, girl with glasses involved. Perhaps is culprit."

[[Anri-chan would never do anything like that!]] Celty was shaking in anger.

"Slon's actions, I deem them to be irregular. Possible cause is girl with glasses. Termination is a must."

[[Not happening,]] Celty told her.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Shizuo stepped forward, taking in the scene. He saw his best friend restraining his kōhai (who look furious), some blond guy lying on the ground with a hole in his head, a blonde woman whose face had apparently chosen to become one with the concrete, and a little boy who looked like one of those catatonic people on TV. "Okay, I don't know what's up with everyone, but this is just nuts. Celty, put Vorona down. She's a friend. Now, could someone please explain what the fuck is going on?"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Shunji wondered if maybe she'd gotten the address wrong, because this was definitely not what she had hoped to see in front of the underground doctor's house.

"Excuse me," she said, stepping out of the car. "I'm looking for Kishitani Shinra-sensei. Can someone please tell me where to find him? I have a very injured person in the back of my car, and I don't know how much time he's got left."

"Shinra's kinda unconscious right now," a blond man who she recognized as Heiwajima Shizuo said. "Some crazy guy broke into his house and beat the shit out of him." The Black Rider jumped, dropping the woman it had been holding and rushing over to Shizuo.

[[I knew he was hurt, but _WHAT_? Is he okay?]] Celty typed. Shizuo blinked.

"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you the details," he realized. "Yeah, but I got there, so he'll be all right." Shunji cleared her throat.

"Is there anyone else with medical knowledge here?" she asked politely. "I really doubt this guy should go to a real hospital." Suddenly, it dawned on her that she was talking to _Heiwajima Shizuo_ , and the guy in her car was _Orihara Izaya_ , which was just a disaster waiting to happen. Shizuo's nose twitched.

"Something stinks," he growled, rotating towards Shunji's car. "Lady, I think your car's got an infestation of flea," Vorona, who had been planning to sneak off to find the girl with glasses, turned towards the car as well. Shunji shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, perhaps, but–" she began. Sōji popped his head out of the car.

"Uh, cuz, Orihara-san isn't doing too well," he called. There was an awkward silence as Sōji realized that he probably shouldn't have said that. "Uh, y'know, Orihara is a pretty common last name." he tried. Shizuo ignored him, stalking over to the car. Sōji flinched back, not really wanting to die. Shizuo opened the car door and looked down at his mortal enemy's unconscious body.

"IIIIIZAAAYAAAA-KUUUUNNNNN." He said flatly. "Why is it that you piss me off even when you're unconscious, _huh_?" Izaya, who was still unconscious, didn't respond. With an annoyed grunt, Shizuo picked up his mortal enemy (with surprising care, all things considered) and carried him into the house.

Celty hesitated, before rushing after her best friend to check on Shinra, forgetting about the young boy that had accompanied her in her haste.

Vorona hesitated. The Black Bike was gone, so she could chase after the girl with glasses. On the other hand, she too wanted answers, and Shizuo-senpai's friend seemed to know the girl with glasses fairly well. As every bone in the crow's body screamed for Sonohara Anri's blood, the assassin turned around, walked towards the boy on the floor, who appeared to be in shock, and carried him into the house, making a mental note to have someone clean up Slon and the young woman's bodies. She paid no mind to the preteen boy and the young woman who had brought her senpai's mortal enemy, and had seen everything.

Unsure of how else to proceed (and filled with determination to see things through), Sōji and Shunji followed the assassin into the house of the illegal underground doctor and his girlfriend, the Dullahan.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kujiragi Kasane was not as angry as Anri thought she'd be. In fact, if anything, she seemed pleased, which made Anri think that maybe she made a mistake. Anri watched as her 'boss' sent someone a text. The older woman looked like a cat that gotten enough cream for a lifetime. Shifting uncomfortably, Anri glanced to her side, where the Rotting Man – her disgusting 'child' – stood obediently. It didn't have any eyes, but Anri was fairly sure it was watching her.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Togusa Saburo was officially having the best day of his life. Not only had he seen Hijiribe Ruri, but she _was in his van_. Granted, so was her boyfriend and Izaya's annoying sisters, but Saburo was mostly ignoring them in favor of staring at his idol (which, in retrospect, was probably why Kadota had not allowed him to drive).

"So, who's chasing you?" Karisawa asked, eyes gleaming. "Is it a bounty hunter?" Yumasaki shook his head.

"No, no," he argued. "Her vampire father is trying to stop her from going to school!" Ruri blinked, not really sure what they were talking about.

"Ignore them," Kadota told her. "You'll live longer." Ruri nodded hesitantly, as Walker and Erika rambled on. Kasuka glanced out the window.

"If it's alright, I think we should just go straight to Kishitani-sensei's," he said.

"You sure?" Kadota asked. "Those guys are still chasing us." Kasuka shrugged.

"Nii-san is there," he said, as if it explained everything (which it did). Kadota nodded, almost feeling sorry for the poor bastards following them. Almost.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kanra watched her new friend chatter on as they rocked together on the swing set. She smiled slightly to herself as Akane rambled on about various things they could do before an idea struck her.

"Ne, Akane-chan?" the other girl broke off to look at her.

"Yeah?" she asked. "What is it?" Kanra smiled.

"Have you ever heard of a man named Heiwajima Shizuo?" she asked. Akane beamed happily.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Shizuo-onii-chan saved me once! He's super cool! One day, I want to be strong enough to defeat him!" Kanra's smile widened.

"You know," she murmured. "I just might be able to help you with that."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Orihara Torakichi and Orihara Natsu – or Natalia, as she had been called at the time – had met and fallen in love when they were very young. Torakichi had been part of a government organization that, as the Americans put it, "kept the peace", and Natalia had been the beautiful half-Russian, half-Chinese assassin sent to kill his squad for whatever reason. It was a rather clichéd situation, but the two had fallen in love during their fight.

The two had fought, with knives, guns, and anything they could think of to use as a weapon, surrounded by the bodies of Torakichi's comrades, maniacal grins plastered over both their faces. It was not surprising that Torakichi was less than concerned about the deaths of his squad; he'd only joined up of the chance to kill people legally. He loved the rush he got from taking the life of another in battle, and she was much the same. They had fought until their bodies had given up and fallen from exhaustion.

When they'd regained consciousness later that day, the two did the only thing they could think of: sex. Rough, wild sex that ended with both of them in the hospital, with Torakichi paralyzed from the waist down and Natalia missing a kidney. As soon as they were out of the hospital, they had eloped (if you could call it that) and started a life together. Since Natalia was a wanted criminal, she had changed her name to Natsu and taken Torakichi's surname as her own. The two had never officially married, but they honestly didn't see the point of having a wedding when neither of them had anyone to invite.

And then, they had had a son. That had been surprising. Neither of them felt that Shirō was a mistake, but Natsu had always thought herself to be infertile. Still, they raised the boy to the best of their abilities, and their son grew up to be a generally well-adjusted individual. Granted, he could break someone's jaw with a well-placed punch, but Natsu and Torakichi had been adamant that self-defense training was essential, not that Shirō had ever truly needed to use his training.

Shirō's son, on the other hand, had been an entirely different story. Not only did the boy understand the importance of a healthy diet, but, about halfway through middle school, he had directly asked to be shown how to truly fight. In no time at all, he had surpassed them. Natsu had nearly cried tears of pride. The twins had been less interested, which was fine, as the couple had gotten too old to train either of their granddaughters in any form of martial arts. Still, Mairu had eventually begun to take lessons at a dojo, and Kururi had somehow figured out how to make a taser using basic household supplies.

It was strange, Natsu had noted, that an odd couple like she and Torakichi had had such a normal child, yet their normal child and his normal wife had had such strange children. Perhaps that was just life.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Semyon "Simon" Brezhnev was an African American Russian man who worked in a sushi shop in Japan under his friend Dennis. As far as he was concerned, that was all he was. However, this had not always been the case. Once, the man now known to most as Simon was a member of the Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti – the Committee of State Security, also known as the KGB. This was not a past he was proud of, but it was a past that he would never allow himself to forget. Dennis felt much the same.

While in the KGB, Simon had met a number of people who were, to put it bluntly, some of the worst people on the face of the planet. Perhaps _that_ was why he found it so easy to tolerate Orihara Izaya. As obnoxious as the man could be, he was not even on Simon's top ten list of annoying people. His grandmother, however, was currently number 4.

Orihara Natsu, formerly known as Natalia, had been an assassin famed for her viciousness and bloodlust. Even in his KGB days, Simon had been uncomfortable around the older woman, and the feeling remained. Orihara Natsu was the kind of person who gave on an air much similar to her grandson's – the air of a cat, preparing to pounce on its prey. However, Izaya was, even to Simon, a panther – a black leopard. He was sneaky, most of his work done in the shadows, but he was also very solitary. Natsu, on the other hand, was more of a tiger. She too was a solitary creature, but Natsu had always hunted alone.

Whether it was a single man or a large group, all of Natalia's kills had been done by herself. She was a sniper without a spotter, a captain without a squad. On occasion, she killed with her bare hands. Natalia had made killing an art – a very grotesque, disturbing, unsightly art.

And then, one day, she had disappeared. Rather than feel relieved, however, Simon had grown more and more wary. He had had too many encounters with Natalia to believe that she was dead without cold hard evidence (a corpse would've been nice). He was not alone in this line of thought, though he doubted anyone had expected her to fall in love and settle down.

And now she was back, Simon could only feel that things were about to go very, very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Not gonna lie – the main reason this chapter took so long was the very last sentence. I just… got stuck, I guess. I was a little preoccupied with my other big story, Acnologia is Not Your Father, and I guess I just left this one in the dust. I apologize. For all fans of I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault and/or A Fate Worse Than Death, I can't promise when those will update next. Truth be told, I've got chapters 2 and 3, respectively, in the works, but I'm not really satisfied with either, so it could take some time before you see either of those get updated. Also, while I hate sounding cliché, I would really like it if at least a couple more people reviewed. I get a lot of inspiration from hearing what people liked about my story (any story, actually), and inspiration is something I really need right now. So thanks to everyone who reviewed, everyone who didn't, and everyone who somehow managed to do both! See you next time!


	18. A Hill of Beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Argh, I've had writer's block for this fic for ages. LITERAL AGES. I swear, it's been driving me nuts. I'm in Botswana right now, but knowing me this story won't update until sometime in August. Go me. Anyhow, I realize that some people find this story confusing, and I apologize for that. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing; I'm just doing it. Also, somebody asked me if the parts about Izaya's grandparents were necessary. I will admit that I can get a little exposition-heavy, but I do intend for Natsu and Torakichi to become important later on. By the way, my next big story will probably be for Fairy Tail, not Durarara!!, though I may do a crossover… nah, that probably wouldn't end well. I think Izaya would end up traumatizing Jellal even more, and Shizuo would just end up getting angry at things, so I'd better not. Still, it'd be interesting to see whether Shizuo is scarier than Erza… hm… In all seriousness, though, those two worlds should not be crossed.

Kuzuhara Shunji was no stranger to tragedy. The Kuzuhara family had been part of the police force for a very long time, and cops had a tendency to end up seeing some nasty things. Traffic accidents were most common, but there were the occasional shootings and stabbings and other unpleasant acts of violence. Police officers got used to 'nasty' fairly quickly. They might not enjoy it, but it was something they adapted to.

Seeing the remains of a woman who had met her end in a very unsightly (though relatively painless) manner was not something Shunji had adapted to. And, after he got over the shock of seeing freshly dead bodies, Sōji learned that he had not adapted to it either – in fact, he learned it all over Shinra's rug.

Nobody in the Kishitani household was in a good mood. Shunji and Sōji were trying to comprehend what they had seen, Celty was panicking over Shinra, Vorona was pacing angrily, Shizuo seemed to be doing his best Ikari Gendo expression, Mika and Seiji were quietly talking, Namie was lying in her bed upstairs thinking about what Saki had said, Shinra was trying to patch up Izaya and ignore the significant amount of pain he was in, Adabashi was unconscious (and, if he knew what was good for him, would stay that way), and Hiro had gone into shock.

For Hiro, "shock" seemed to be carried out by quietly staring at the wall for five to ten minutes, randomly blurting things out, and then going back to staring at the wall. So far, he had noted that the walls were white, the carpet had vomit on it, and the Black Rider didn't have a head.

"That guy's been unconscious for a while," Hiro blurted. Mika, Seiji, Shunji, and Sōji turned to look at him. The boy's eyes were very wide, and he was still looking at the wall. "If someone's knocked out for more than five minutes, there's a good chance they've got a serious concussion or a life-threatening traumatic brain injury. He should go to a hospital." Hiro went back to staring at the wall.

"Poor kid," Shunji murmured. "He shouldn't have had to see that."

"Is that normal?" Sōji rasped, looking sick. "I don't wanna be a cop if I gotta see stuff like that again." Shunji silently thanked the gods that her cousin hadn't actually seen either of the two die. Before she could reply, however, the blonde woman pacing the room spoke up.

"Not normal for cops," she said. "Not normal at all. For Slon to dispose of target in such a manner is unheard of. I affirm, there was no job or clean up crew called. Death was unnecessary and meaningless. Situation requires immediate response. I request permission from Shizuo-senpai to eliminate girl with glasses."

"No," said Shizuo bluntly, not bothering to look at her. "No eliminating. Not until that damn fleabag's given me some answers."

"What do you expect him to say?" Mika asked. She wasn't sure that helping would be a good idea, but now that Seiji had gotten involved, there was no telling what could happen, and Heiwajima Shizuo would be a valuable ally.

"I expect him to tell me what the fuck's going on," Shizuo growled. "I wanna know where the hell he disappeared to, why the city went to shit, what the hell happened, where the hell he disappeared to _again_ , why Vorona's friend killed that chick, who the hell hurt my brother, who the fuck that guy is, what the hell the thing that attacked Yagiri-san was, how the hell you knew my number, and why the hell I got mixed up in all this."

"Well, that guy is Adabashi Kisuke," Mika said, nodding at Adabashi's unconscious body. "He's Hijiribe Ruri's stalker – shows his love for her by killing anyone connected to her and vandalizing her posters." Seiji scowled angrily.

"That's not love," he stated. "That's pathetic." Mika glanced at her boyfriend before continuing.

"Vorona-san's friend, Slon-san, is an assassin, so he was likely sent to kill that woman, though I couldn't say why." Mika had the attention of everyone in the room now. "The people that hurt your brother were likely after his girlfriend, Ruri-san, who is also the serial killer Hollywood. I know your number because I know everyone's number."

"How'd you know all that?" Shizuo asked, rather startled. Mika smirked.

"You'd be amazed how cheap listening devices can be," she stated cheerfully.

"They're illegal, though," Shunji spoke up. The stupidity of the sentence hit her almost immediately – she was in an underground doctor's house with a girl who was probably an assassin, a man who caused more property damage than anyone else in history, a woman wanted for human experimentation, a boy suspected of having killed his stalker, said stalker who had vanished and mysteriously reappeared without anyone questioning it, a headless woman who spent half her time getting chased around by Shunji's uncle, an underground doctor, the most infamous info broker in Tokyo, a serial killer, and a boy whose body couldn't seem to decide what it wanted to look like.

"Sometimes, rules need to be broken," Mika said simply. It was amazing, Seiji thought to himself, how normal Mika could seem sometimes. Unbeknownst to anyone aside from himself, his girlfriend, and his sister, Mika was possibly the most dangerous and deranged person in the building – and said building happened to have Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo in it.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

There had been a time in Mairu's life when she had not gotten along with Kururi as well as she did now. Back then, the twins had competed for the attention of their older brother, who was about as interested in them as he was in watching paint dry. Eventually, they had realized that trying to get Izaya to care about them was a bigger waste of time than _actually_ watching paint dry, and they had moved on with their lives (bur not before their personalities had ended up drastically altered).

Still, that was not to say that the twins did not love their brother – they did. It was not the traditional sibling love, but none of the three had ever been traditional anyway, so it didn't matter. No, no one in the Orihara family was really normal. Even Shirō was a bit strange, his quiet personality hiding the sharp edge of a knife that would only be drawn in defense of his loved ones.

The love that Mairu and Kururi held for one another was oddly twisted, slightly incestuous (okay, _really_ incestuous), but still very real. The love they held for their brother was just as real, but less incestuous and more twisted. If Izaya were to die, the twins freely admitted that they would probably cry for a bit before moving on with their lives. They agreed that they would miss him, even if he wouldn't miss them.

When Izaya had vanished, the twins hadn't really cared – Izaya 'vanished' all the time, and he was always fine. Mostly. But when he'd come back, broken beyond repair, the twins had felt something new for their brother. Anger. They were not angry at _him_ , they were angry at whoever had hurt him. Izaya was _theirs_ – he was their brother, and, while they thought that it was perfectly justified for Shizuo-san to kill him, Mairu and Kururi were the only ones allowed to hurt him in cruel, unthinkable ways, because that was the way they were. Actually, there might have been some incestuous subtext in their love for him, but they didn't hold him in a romantic light anyway.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

It did not take Celty as long as she had feared for Shinra to wake up. To no one's surprise, he immediately began gushing over her, only stopping when Shizuo threatened to break whichever bones weren't already broken. After explaining the situation (or what little sense they could make of it), Shinra asked to see Hiro.

"This kid looks way too much like Izaya," the doctor mumbled. Hiro wasn't paying attention, likely because he was still traumatized.

"Izaya's usually got an annoying smirk," Shizuo pointed out.

"I meant the way he was back in middle school," Shinra explained.

"I just kinda thought he was born like that," Shizuo admitted.

"I deem this implausible," Vorona stated. "Infants are–"

"I don't think he meant that literally," Shunji interrupted. "Look, I hate to be a killjoy, but I think we should save the pointless banter and try to figure out what's going on. Two people are dead, and I can only keep the police's eyes away for so long." Vorona shook her head.

"Cover-up unnecessary," she said. "Slon's victim, an illegal immigrant. Slon himself, already being taken care of." Shizuo looked at her.

"So you really do know that guy, huh?" he mused. "Well, whatever. What're we gonna do about the kid?"

"Did you guys know that fish don't have eyelids?" Hiro blurted.

"Well, my diagnosis is 'shock'," said Shinra dryly. Shunji rolled her eyes.

"Thank you," she snapped. "Now, what about the _actual_ Izaya?"

"Well, that depends on how well Yagiri-san is healed," Shinra said simply. "In this state, there's not much I can do, and, while my darling Celty has the basic knowledge of what to do, this requires more than basic knowledge. More importantly, though, how can I be sure you won't give away our location?"

"How is that what's most important?" Shunji demanded. "I–" she cut herself off, seeing the tiny glint of a scalpel in Shinra's hand. Swallowing, she was once again reminded that most of the people in this house were quite capable of killing her, and Shinra's amicable expression only just hid the fact that he was more than willing to do so. Celty placed her hand on her boyfriend's, and the scalpel disappeared.

[[Don't, Shinra,]] she typed. [[I think she's right. We need to figure out what's going on with Izaya.]] Shinra nodded, but he continued to watch Shunji carefully.

"Luckily for this guy, nee-san can work," Seiji rolled his sister's wheelchair into the room. Namie nodded.

"I can't have any distractions, though," she warned.

[[You'll help him?]] Celty asked, surprised. She had been fully convinced that Namie had no love for her boss.

"Don't get me wrong," Namie snapped, folding her arms. "I'm just doing this for my paycheck." If Celty had had a mouth, she would have smiled.

_And Karisawa called_ me _'tsundere'_ …

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Akabayashi Mizuki had met Sonohara Sayaka, he had fallen in love. To this day, he still loved her. He loved her daughter, little Anri-chan, as well, but in a very different way. To this day, his memories of Sayaka still ruled his life – his hatred of drugs, his protectiveness of children (especially girls), and his disinterest in any sort of romance. The latter two often caused people to think that he was either gay or a pedophile, but the simple truth was that Sayaka was the only person he could ever see in a romantic sense.

Because of Sayaka, Akabayashi hated drugs – the drugs that had driven her husband crazy, the drugs that had caused that man to abuse Anri-chan, the drugs that had _taken Sayaka away_ , but there was one thing he hated more: Yodogiri Jinnai.

Like most people, Akabayashi had no clue what the man looked like. It wasn't hard to find his original appearance, but the man had had so much plastic surgery that he looked less like his original self than Michael Jackson. Regardless, every time he heard the man's name, Akabayashi's blood boiled, and it was all he could do to keep calm – best to save the storm for the man himself.

Akabayashi smiled to himself as he walked down the street to pick up his boss's granddaughter from the Sharaku family's dojo. The smile faded when he learned that neither Akane nor the Orihara twins had shown up for class that day.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kuzuhara Sōji was not scared. He had seen two dead bodies, the headless woman his father liked to chase around, a mutilated body, the strongest man in Ikebukuro, a creepy monster thing, an assassin, at least four people who were hiding from the law, and a girl who may or may not have been possessed, all in one day. Yet he was not scared – at least, not of them. The girl with short brown hair and the funny white hat who was watching him out of the corner of her eye was, for some reason, quite intimidating.

This was not to say that the other people in the house weren't off-putting, but something about Harima Mika just scared Sōji shitless. He spent what felt like years sending nervous glances at her until Celty led Hiro back into the room, where the boy promptly sat down on the floor and stared blankly at the ceiling. Nervously, the headless woman 'looked' around the room, taking in all of her guests. Seiji walked in behind her.

"I forgot to ask earlier," he spoke up. Celty turned to look at him. "Have you found your head yet?" Celty shook her helmet.

[[No. And I told you, I'm not interested in it anymore. I'd like to know where it is, sure, but… I don't need it.]]

"I'm going to keep looking," Seiji stated. "I'll find it eventually."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Awakusu Akane opened her eyes, her new friend was gone. Blinking, Akane sat up and looked around, wondering what had happened. She certainly didn't _remember_ falling asleep, and there wouldn't be much point in knocking her out and _not_ kidnapping her. Reaching up to rub her eyes, Akane noticed that she was holding a not-quite-circular object. It was a golden apple, with an odd inscription on it: "Καλλιστι". Akane had no knowledge of any language other than Japanese, nor had she ever seen Greek letters before outside of museums, but, somehow, the words instantly fell into place in her head.

_Kallisti_

_For the most beautiful_.

Akane smiled to herself and pocketed the apple. It was _hers_ now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I really wanted to make this longer, but that didn't happen. And it apparently took me two fucking months to get nine pages out. Jesus, I got sidetracked. Honestly, as much as I love Durarara!!, I find that I have more fun writing for Fairy Tail, so most of my stories will be for that fandom. That's not to say that I'm discontinuing anything, because I'm not. For everyone desperately waiting for Izaya to wake up, I can safely say that that will almost certainly happen in the next chapter. It's possible that it will be the chapter after that, but he'll be up soon enough. To be honest, I'm kind of hesitant about that. Izaya is a very difficult character to write, and this story already makes very little sense as it is. I'm hoping to be able to tie things together soon, but I can't promise anything. What I can say is that this story is about halfway done, which is awesome. This is the farthest I've gotten with any story, especially a serious one. Really, thank you guys so much for your support. I've had a blast writing this, and I hope that the next chapter – even if it takes a while to come out – doesn't disappoint. Enjoy!


	19. One and Only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And, yet again, it took way too long to get this chapter started. In my defense, though, I've got a new computer. Not that I'm using it yet, since I've still got to download a bunch of shit. Bleh. Effort. Anyhow, I think I'm getting back the vibe for this story, and I learned not to focus on more than three stories at once. That doesn't mean I won't, though. Anyway, the next three updates will be for this story (that's the chapter you're reading), Acnologia is Not Your Father, and my HP crossover. Gosh, it's hard to balance all this out. I also need to apologize to the people reading this on AO3, because I forgot to post chapter seventeen and just posted chapter eighteen. That's been fixed now, so go check it out and please don't hate me. One last thing: I feel like I haven't been very clear about this, so I'm going to just flat-out say it. Just because a character survives a near-death experience, it doesn't mean they're safe. Anyone can die, even people like Celty and Ruri. The only person that I know for a fact is going to survive this fic is Shingen, and that's only because killing him off would have little to no emotional impact at this point. If even one little thing changes, he could kick it too. No one is safe. Ever.

It was fitting, Namie thought, that she, Shinra, and Shizuo were the ones there when Izaya woke up. Each of them was, in their own odd way, someone of importance to Izaya. For Namie, she was a tool – she was aware of that, of course, but she also knew that she had become so useful that he likely couldn't function without her, and, as amusing as it would probably to watch him crumble, Namie had stuck by him, and it had become an odd sort of affection (though she'd ditch him in a second if he ever even _thought_ about lowering her salary). She didn't like him, per se, but she found it hard to imagine life without him, and she had discovered that perhaps that creepy girl had been right – she liked being needed, but she also liked being valued. And Izaya, for whatever reason, had seen reason to value her as an individual, and not as a genius or an attractive woman (though he would be the first to admit that she was both of those things).

For Shinra, he was a friend – probably the only one Izaya really had. After learning that Izaya's feelings for Shinra were probably the most human thing about him, Namie had taken a closer look at their relationship, and she had discovered that maybe the friendship wasn't as one-sided as she had thought. While Shinra loved Celty above all else, he did seem to genuinely care about Izaya, in his own way. It was a hard conclusion to draw, seeing as the doctor treated the informant with indifference bordering mild dislike, but there was no other reason for it. If Shinra had not cared for Izaya to some extent, he would have listened to Celty and left him behind. However, that didn't stop Namie from thinking about asking Saki to perform the same sort of mental evaluation she had seen the girl do before.

But Shizuo, oddly enough, meant more – he was the limits of Izaya's knowledge of humans, the living exception to the rules, the one person Izaya could never hope to outsmart, a goal to be surpassed, and so many other things that Namie couldn't be sure if their shared hatred for each other had stemmed from their complete inability to understand one another. It was, she thought, quite a fascinating relationship to examine.

All three of them held their breath as Izaya opened his eyes.

And then, unfortunately, he opened his mouth.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Saki looked down at her phone as soon as she received the text. She wasn't surprised that Namie had her number, but she was a little taken aback that the woman had bothered to contact her. Reading the message, Saki felt a small smile come to her lips. Bidding Ryō and Eijirō a quick – and slightly distracted – farewell, Saki turned her attention to her phone. If there had been anyone around, they likely would have walked right passed the young girl without a second thought. However, if, by chance, someone – someone who knew her – took a good, long look, they would see that the usual mischievous spark in her eyes had been replaced by glimmering malice. No, now was not a good time to be on Mikajima Saki's shit list.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kadota Kyōhei served a very important role in Ikebukuro, for numerous parties. He was widely considered the face of the Dollars, he was the guy that scared off Blue Squares just by looking at them, he was the light of hope for the Yellow Scarves (mainly Kida, but the others too, if he ever decided to join them), and he was the only mostly sane person in his group of friends from Raijin. But above all that, Kadota had one role that no one else could ever perform – he was the brake of what he liked to call the "psycho car". Walker, Erika, and Saburo were all fairly screwed up people (the former two moreso, of course), and Kadota functioned as the one who made sure that there was as little causality as possible.

At the moment, however, Kadota didn't feel quite as confident as he usually did. Oh, sure, everyone knew him – he was one of the "Big Four", so to speak. He was someone everyone expected to see in Ikebukuro, along with Shizuo, Izaya, and Celty, but that didn't mean he was invincible. He didn't have Shizuo's strength or stamina, Izaya's brains or durability, or Celty's immortality and shadowy things. Those were things that belonged solely to them. No one was as strong as Shizuo, as smart as Izaya, or as mystical as Celty. The person who came the closest to all of those things was one Hijiribe Ruri, who was currently hiding in his van with her boyfriend and Izaya's annoying little sisters.

So imagine Kadota's surprise when he was approached by Sharaku Mikage and asked to keep an eye out for something that was strong enough to break through a brick wall, smart enough to know how to catch Shizuo off guard and actually draw blood, and was apparently made out of shadows. Ruri had somehow overheard the conversation and had offered to look into it as soon as she could, and Kasuka had offered to do whatever he could as well. As soon as their idol agreed to help, Mairu immediately said that, once he was awake, she and Kururi would annoy Izaya until he told them whatever he knew. All that had done, however, was remind everyone that this thing was almost certainly involved in whatever was going on with Izaya. Kadota took one last glance at Mikage's retreating back (her _back_ , Yumasaki, not her _ass_ ) and hoped she wasn't too far over her head. Again.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

Harima Mika, reborn!

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

Oh? This is interesting. I knew you knew how to contact me, but I never thought you actually _would_.

**Harima Mika**

Desperate times, desperate measures. I need to know about the Green Lights.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

You don't already? You're information network is nearly as good as mine.

**Harima Mika**

Listening devices can only get you so far. I already know their members are Sharaku Mikage, Izumii Ran, Kine, Mamiya Manami, Niekawa Haruna, Nakura, the Dragon Zombie gang, and the woman calling herself Earthworm. You know all that as well, I'm sure. I also know about Yagiri Seitarō's recent activities.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

…Are you _blackmailing_ me?

**Harima Mika**

Blackmail is such an ugly word. Think of this as me not having enough money to afford your regular services. And, unlike Orihara Izaya, I can't just offer to trade information.

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

True enough. Well, you've got guts. I admire that. Fine, I'll tell you. Give me about ten minutes. Just tell me one thing: Where is Hijiribe Ruri?

**Harima Mika, confirmed dead!**

**Tsukumoya Shinichi**

Ouch. Hurtful.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

_Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!_

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kanra: So, have you guys heard about the Green Lights?

Tanaka Tarō: Yeah, they're the new gang in Ikebukuro, right?

Kanra: Boo! Don't ruin my fun.

Bakyura: Ignore her. It's been a while since I've been on. What'd I miss?

Setton: Not much. Well, my roommate was attacked.

Pure Water 100%: Oh no! Is he okay?

Setton: No, but he will be.

Saika: Um, I'm sorry.

Setton: It's not your fault.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Is Kishitani-sensei all right?

Setton [Private]: Yeah. Shizuo beat the crap out of the guy who did it.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: He was attacked, then?

Setton [Private]: It looks that way. That friend of yours – the one obsessed with my head – ended up saving Shinra's life, though.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Yagiri-kun did? I guess it's a good thing his sister was stabbed, then.

Setton [Private]: …I don't remember telling you that.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: You didn't.

Tanaka Tarō: On a better note, I found out something really cool! It turns out that that famous idol, Hijiribe Ruri, is in town! Apparently, so is her boyfriend, Hanejima Yūhei.

Setton [Private]: Mikado????? What are you doing? This isn't like you!

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: Izaya-san's missing, right?

Bakyura: Wow, really?

Shoro: No wonder Mai and Kyo aren't around.

Setton [Private]: Actually, he's with us right now. Yagiri – the older one – is performing some sort of operation on him with Shinra's help.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: In that case, we can safely say that the Kanra asking about the Green Lights isn't Izaya-san. We already know that two people who weren't Izaya-san have used the name Kanra, and either one of them could be involved in his disappearance.

Kanra: Anyway, about the Green Lights– what do you guys know about them?

Pure Water 100%: Enough not to care.

Setton [Private]: True… still, why draw attention to Ruri?

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: I didn't. I drew attention to Hanejima-san.

Setton [Private]: Again, why?

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: So that whoever this is gets the hint.

Setton [Private]: Huh?

Tanaka Tarō: Geez, Kanra, you're sure pushy today.

Kanra: I know, I know. I'm just curious, that's all! Can't fault a girl for that.

Saika: Sorry, I have to go.

-Saika has left the chat-

Kanra: Aw, we didn't even get to say goodbye! Come back, Saika-nyan!

-Kanra has been disconnected-

Shoro: I thought Kanra was the admin of the chatroom. How'd she get disconnected?

Tanaka Tarō: Probably a bad connection or something.

Bakyura [Private]: Mikado, what's going on?

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: I don't trust her. She's not Izaya-san.

Bakyura [Private]: Duh. I wouldn't trust her either way, though. I just wanted to know how you got her disconnected.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: It wasn't me. Promise.

-TheMostBeautiful has entered the chat-

-GoldenApple has entered the chat-

TheMostBeautiful: Um, hello! A friend of a friend of mine showed us this chat, so we thought we'd come check it out!

GoldenApple: Ooh, lots of people! Haha, I hope you don't mind our intrusion!

Tanaka Tarō: Not at all. The more the merrier!

GoldenApple [Private]: I'm the one who kicked out Kanra. Judging by the backlogs, it looks like I did you a favor. No need to thank me.

Tanaka Tarō [Private]: How did you do that? Who are you?

GoldenApple [Private]: Now that would be telling~

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

To say that Orihara Izaya was 'a tad disoriented' upon awakening would be about that same as saying that Star Wars fans had been 'mildly annoyed' by the introduction of Jar-Jar Binks. Instead, one might replace 'a tad disoriented' with 'really fucking confused' (and 'mildly annoyed' with 'apoplectic'), and they would probably be a little closer to the mark. Still, he immediately recognized the people in the room – or, rather, he recognized them as soon as they stopped being blurred shapes and annoying noises. Izaya would later look back and lament upon his poor choice of first words, but, as things stood, the first thing he said when he woke up was quite fitting, considering the situation.

"The fuck?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And Izaya's awake again. What, you thought he was finally going to start doing things? Don't be silly, children. I'm saving that for next chapter – my first twentieth chapter! Er, well, you know. Anyhow, if anyone has any questions, feel free to send them in. I'm sorry for taking so long to update, and I'm sorry that this chapter isn't as long as I'd like it to be, but too bad. Moving on, I wanted to know how many of you (as in, people who read the ANs) knew about TV Tropes. I know a lot of people do, but I needed to say that the Durarara!! page could use some work. Tropers, it's up to you! One last thing: a couple things have happened in the anime that discredit a lot of stuff in this fic. Since this story somehow takes place before volume nine but has characters that don't become important until much later, I think it's obvious that this is effectively an AU. A few things are different, mainly because keeping a story as complicated as this one close to canon is way too hard for you. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!


	20. Crock of Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So… I'm starting this chapter a lot sooner than I thought I would, but there's actually a reason for that. See, I updated my profile recently, and there are some things I'd like people to check out. First, there's a new poll on my profile relating what story I'll write once Deicide is finished. Yes, it will be a Fairy Tail story. No, this is not negotiable. Aside from the stories I am currently writing and the stories I intend to rewrite, I am officially only writing for Fairy Tail at the moment. I may throw out a oneshot for another fandom, but don't bet on it. Do I still take requests? Of course, but I will not feel obligated to fulfill your request unless you've won a contest or something (or unless you're Novoux and I want you to write something for me in return, in which case I still don't know how to write Izuo, dammit). There's actually a good reason for this – I've lost interest in pretty much all of my fandoms aside from Fairy Tail and Durarara!!, the latter of which is not only extremely complicated, but also extremely confusing, as the anime is now contradicting things I believed to be fact. For example, the anime seems intent on getting me to spell 'Vorona' as 'Varona' and 'Slon' as 'Sloan', which I won't do, because I know the Russian spelling of the words (which is the same in the novels as the actual Russian words), and I know how it translates, more or less. Shunji's name is also apparently Maju, and we never got to see Izaya mocking Nakura properly, which was one of my favorite scenes. Also, I'm starting to get really annoyed by some of the cliffhangers in the anime. Shizuo pointlessly getting arrested hasn't been explained, everyone's going to be freaking out about Izaya even though he's going to be fine (he's not even unconscious, guys; Kine and Mikage will save his ass soon enough), and Namie's kidnapping was rendered entirely pointless since they revealed that she's safe but didn't fucking explain it. That's not clever, y'all, it's annoying. Does it work in the novels? Yes. But this is not a book – it's an adaptation, and changes sometimes have to happen, no matter how people complain. It's not dramatic for the people who already know what's going to happen, nor is it exciting for the people who don't. It's basically like dangling your keys in front of a toddler: it might work the first few times, but now it makes me want to stab someone. I apologize for my little rant, and I hope you enjoy the story~

Orihara Izaya lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He would have preferred to have his arms underneath his head, but he only had one arm and he couldn't actually lift it at the moment. Shinra and Shizuo had left the room (though Izaya couldn't explain for the life of him what Shizu-chan had been doing there to begin with), and Namie was glowering at him from her wheelchair. Hopefully, she would go away soon and let him figure things out for himself, but that was seeming less and less likely.

"Good afternoon, Namie-san," he said, flinching slightly at the sound of his own raspy voice.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, you unbearable asshole," Namie responded. Ah. So she was still mad at him. Good to know.

"I am way too high on whatever Shinra gave me to do that," he told her. It wasn't untrue, either. This wasn't the first time Shinra had pumped his body with some unknown concoction, and he was pretty certain that it wouldn't be the last.

"I don't care," Namie hissed. "Until I get my paycheck, I am not listening to a word you have to say." Izaya pouted.

"But Naaamiiieeee-saaaannnn," he whined. "I'm _sick_."

"What else is new?" she asked. Izaya hid a small grin. His secretary was great.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

-There is no one in the chatroom at this time-

-GoldenApple has entered the chat-

-Pure Water 100% has entered the chat-

Pure Water 100% [Private]: Are you the one who wanted to talk to me?

GoldenApple: Yes.

Pure Water 100% [Private]: If it's so important that you waited until the chatroom was empty, shouldn't you be using the 'private' function?

GoldenApple: …Yes

Pure Water 100% [Private]: Do you even know how?

GoldenApple [Private]: Of course I do.

Pure Water 100% [Private]: You looked it up.

GoldenApple [Private]: Did not. Anyway, I have a question for you. Are you Kuronuma Aoba?

Pure Water 100% [Private]: Asking an innocent little girl like me for her identity could be taken the wrong way, you know.

GoldenApple [Private]: Where is Orihara Izaya?

Pure Water 100% [Private]: Now why would I know that?

GoldenApple [Private]: I'm not in the mood for games. Where is he?

Pure Water 100% [Private]: What's it to you?

GoldenApple [Private]: Dammit, I don't have time for this.

-GoldenApple has left the chat-

Pure Water 100%: I guess it wasn't that important, then.

GoldenApple: Because I could not stop for Death

Pure Water 100%: ???????

GoldenApple: He kindly stopped for me

Pure Water 100%: Hang on, how are you doing that? The screen says I'm the only one in here!

GoldenApple: The carriage held but just ourselves

Pure Water 100%: What does Emily Dickinson have to do with anything? Are you trying to threaten me with poetry?

-Pure Water 100% has been disconnected-

-There is no one in the chatroom at this time-

GoldenApple: And Immortality.

-GoldenApple has left the chat-

-There is no one in the chatroom at this time-

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Mikage thought back to her first conversation with Kadota. It hadn't been particularly fun, but it had been… odd, to say the least. To the best of her recollection, Kyōhei had never been particularly nosy, so it was strange of him to ask such a personal question. It wasn't that they hadn't been on friendly terms, but they certainly hadn't been friends. Of course, back in those days, Mikage had only had eyes for one boy.

Her most recent conversation with the beanie-wearing man had been more straightforward – all she had to do was ask him to be on the lookout and then leave. It should have been easy, but something in Mikage's gut told her that it hadn't been. There shouldn't have been a problem – they had no conflicting history, no conflicting opinions (well, mostly), and no conflicting allegiances.

Shaking her head to get her thoughts away from Kadota, Mikage returned to the task at hand – ensuring that Izaya would hate her forever. Okay, so that wasn't exactly her intention, but it was sure to be a side affect of her actions. Raising her hand, she knocked at Sonohara Anri's door, waited a bit, and then knocked once more. There was no response. Frowning, Mikage turned to leave, but something stopped her. She took a step back, and kicked the door down. Walking inside, she looked around the dingy apartment.

"Come out, Niekawa," she said flatly. The longhaired girl appeared in the doorway behind her. "You followed me." Haruna shrugged.

"You knew I would," the girl pointed out. Mikage looked over her shoulder, meeting the other's eyes.

"Yeah. I was counting on it," she admitted. "Sonohara should be here, since it's so late and tomorrow's a school day, but it doesn't look like anyone's been here for a few days." Haruna walked into the apartment, looking around.

"That's true," she mused. "I haven't been able to feel her for a while, either. I have felt something else, though. Something scary~" Mikage swung around fully.

"Why are you only mentioning this now?" she demanded. Haruna grinned at her.

"'Cause I didn't know what it was~" she sang. "It's been trying to get into my brain for a while, but my love for Takashi is far too strong." Her eyes narrowed. "I absolutely won't let myself lose. I have too much to do." Mikage nodded, frowning.

"Good. Let me know if you figure something out about it," she instructed.

"Sure thing, Captain~"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The Rotting Man tilted what was probably supposed to be its head as the two women left the building. It wondered if it should kill them, but the one with long hair frightened it. She had the same aura that its Mother and its Great Progenitor had, and that worried it. A shadowy creature pulled itself away from the Rotting Man's body, slinking after the two women. Curiosity sated, the Rotting Man slipped off into the shadows.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Sonohara Anri was very thankful that her mother had befriended Akabayashi Mizuki. Even Kujiragi knew better than to piss off the Awakusu-kai, and kidnapping Anri was a sure way to get Akabayashi to torture you to death. Still, Anri felt more than a little uncomfortable as she walked to school. It wasn't that she thought she was being watched – she knew she was being watched. The problem was that there were too many people watching her. It wasn't just the Dollars, either. Anri was fairly certain both Mikado and Masaomi had been keeping an eye on her, and it wouldn't have been surprising if Mika had been as well. No, there was a distinctly less friendly presence (not that Kujiragi and the Rotting Man were particularly comforting presences) that seemed to be following Anri. It wasn't malicious, per se, but it was cautious, and that was worrying.

When she arrived at class, Mikado waved at her, and she gave him a small smile as she walked to her seat. The teacher cleared his throat.

"Class, we have a shadow student with us today," he said. Anri looked at the girl and suddenly realized where that borderline hostile presence had been coming from.

"I'm Mikajima Saki," the shadow student said. "Please take care of me."

"Mikajima-san will be shadowing Sonohara-san for the day," the teacher stated. "I do hope you will all treat her with respect." The class greeted Saki in a friendly manner, and she went to sit down next to Anri.

"It's nice to meet you, Sonohara-san," she said, bowing. "I hope we can be friends." Anri blinked, and then hesitantly nodded.

"Ah, yes," she mumbled. "Me too." Mikado glanced back and forth between the two of them, frowning. For a moment, Anri was worried that he'd say something, but the boy remained quiet. Anri took another look at the girl next to her. Saki was looking forward, staring intently at the teacher, but her expression when she'd looked at Anri still lingered in the bespectacled girl's mind.

Saki's mouth had been smiling cheerfully, but her eyes had been sending a death glare that would've sent damn near anyone running for the hills.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Orihara Izaya, bored out of his mind, checked his emails again. Most of his accounts had nothing interesting in them, and he didn't intend to open anything that was _too_ interesting. He didn't doubt that he was being watched, and it wouldn't do to get distracted at such a critical juncture.

"I bet a lot of people are mad at me~" he hummed cheerfully.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Namie said, wheeling herself back into the room. "I think that could be the title of your autobiography, actually. "People are Mad at Me." You could probably end every chapter with "and then Heiwajima Shizuo threw a vending machine at my head." Pity none of them ever connect."

"They do, sometimes," Izaya said absently. "Shizu-chan gets lucky every now and then. By the way, why was he here earlier?"

"Who knows?" Namie replied. "Could be anything. Maybe he's in love with you."

"You've been spending too much time with Karisawa," Izaya told her, wrinkling his nose. "Or are you the one giving her ideas?" Namie smirked.

"Perhaps its your twisted obsession with one another that gives her ideas," the woman said. Izaya laughed.

"I don't want to hear about twisted obsessions from _you_ , Namie-san." He twisted onto his side to look at her. "Speaking of obsessions, where's my loyal courier?"

"Babysitting."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Celty Sturluson officially did not like babysitting. Granted, the baby she was currently sitting for was a malformed spastic mini-Izaya, which would have turned anyone off, but she was fairly certain that this experience would scar her for eternity.

"I wouldn't want to live on Venus," Hiro burst out. He promptly curled back into a ball, rocking back and forth. Celty's shoulders slumped. Shinra had done a surprisingly fast DNA test, and had determined that Hiro and Izaya were related, if not the same person. Namie had smacked him over the head with a clipboard and angrily stated that everyone else had already figured that out. Still, Hiro's origins were a mystery. The boy himself was a mystery as well – nothing about him was consistent. It wasn't just his body; his personality, random outbursts, and facial expressions were all inconsistent.

[[Hiro-kun, can you read this?]] Celty tried for what felt like the eighth time. Hiro looked closely at her phone, squinting at the words, before returning to his fetal position.

"Any luck, darling?" Shinra called. Celty really wanted to hit him.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

On a scale of "kind okay" to "crap" to "shit" to "really fucking awful", today was not ranking very high on Kida Masaomi's list of "not awesome days". Aside from all the things that usually went wrong in his life, Saki had left without telling him where she was going. Sure, she'd said, "I'll be back tonight," but that was somehow not very comforting.

"C'mon," Kida muttered, scrolling down the list of emergency contacts Izaya had given him nearly three and a half years ago. His finger hovered above the one he was sure Izaya had put down as a joke. Taking a deep breath, he clicked it. After listening to the dial tone for a couple seconds, someone picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" a female voice, hoarse from cigarettes, snapped. Kida exhaled.

"Hi, mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I know this chapter isn't very long, but I wanted to end it here. Partly because of the cliffhanger, but also partly because I haven't updated in a while, and I thought Thanksgiving would be a good day to do that. As I've said before, I've kind of lost interest in Durarara, but I do intend to see this fic through to the end. The thing is, you guys have been so wonderful and supportive, and you really deserve the best I can give you, at the very least. So, while I will finish this story, there will almost certainly be rather long gaps in between chapters. I can't force myself to write, and I don't intend to try. I wish I could update on a regular basis, but I can't, so… thanks for sticking with me all this time, guys. You're the best.


	21. Susurrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm back, baby! It's been a while, I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm here now! I watched the new episode and got an awesome new review, and I'm all pumped up for this chapter! Hopefully, my absence won't have made the story too difficult to follow. Anyway, I haven't quite decided what's going to happen here, so… let's find out, shall we? Oh, and remember how I said that some characters from other parts of the Naritaverse might show? Yeah. Also, prepare for lots of scene changes.

Two men walked down the street in a small neighborhood in Toshima, somewhere just north of Ikebukuro. To the average eye, these two men were absolutely normal – foreign, and almost certainly tourists, but normal. They spoke quietly in English, not loudly enough to draw attention, but not quietly enough to draw attention.

"This is probably a bad idea," the first man said. "I feel like this kid is up to something."

"Of course she is," the second man said. His English was good, but even an untrained ear could hear the French accent. "But an opportunity such as this is not one to be so quickly overlooked." The other man rolled his eyes.

"Everything's about science with you," he complained. "You never change at all. I thought you'd be happy to meet some of your old buddies." The first man frowned. Even with his lips turned down and his forehead wrinkled, there was no denying his stunning appearance. Had it not been for the obvious lack of cleavage, one might have assumed this man to be a woman. Before the beautiful man could reply, however, another voice cut into the conversation.

"There you are!" a cheerful man with a thick English accent ran towards them. He was followed by a man with glasses, a younger man who couldn't have been older than sixteen, a woman with short red hair, a young child holding her hand, and a rather large man with a grumpy look on his face.

"Where'd your brothers get off to?" the first man asked the large one.

"They're somewhere around here," he replied.

"They're gathering the others," the woman said. The Frenchman looked down at the child.

"It's been a while," he said simply. The boy scowled at him, and did not reply. "I have a son-in-law," the Frenchman continued, barely keeping his smirk off of his face. "I think you'd like him, actually," the boy shuddered, and stepped back behind the woman.

"Stop it, Huey," the man with glasses said quietly. Huey looked at him, and then shrugged. The man with glasses turned towards the first man.

"Ronnie," he said, "would you mind telling us exactly what we're dealing with?"

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The Rotting Man sensed the danger. It wasn't sure what exactly it was feeling, but something in the air of Ikebukuro had changed. Heiwajima Shizuo no longer ranked highest on its "biggest threats" list. That was troubling all by itself – the idea of any kind of creature being on his level, or possibly stronger, was beyond frightening – but there was something else stirring. The Rotting Man could feel it in the air.

Kujiragi Kasane felt it too, and so did Niekawa Haruna, Sonohara Anri, Celty Sturluson, and any creation with less than human origins. It was not Heiwajima Shizuo, it was not the man called Ronnie – it wasn't even the son-in-law Huey had mentioned, who was traveling by boat with his wife to visit his great-grandchildren (although how someone as young as Huey could have great-great-grandchildren was beyond most). It was something else – something _higher_. In the cold, dark, soundlessness of outer space, something had awoken from its sleep. It moved quickly and smoothly, almost as if it was running, and it seemed to be heading for earth. But that was, of course, impossible.

A black hole cannot run.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The boy named Hiro felt the stir at the same time Celty did. The two of them stood up simultaneously. Mika, who had just walked into the room, stared at them.

"What's with you two?" she asked.

[[I felt something,]] Celty told her. [[Something's wrong.]] There was a sound of breaking glass, and Celty turned just in time to see Hiro vanish out the window.

"You mean aside from the fact that a ten-year-old just jumped out of a window from the second story of an apartment building and is now running down the street like nothing happened?" Mika asked. Celty was already out the door. Mika watched the Dullahan, frowning, and pulled out her cell phone. She almost went to Tsukumoya Shinichi, but something in her gut told her that that wasn't the right thing to do.

"Hello?" she heard from the other end of her phone. "Who is this?"

"This is Harima Mika," Mika said. "Am I speaking with Mikajima Saki?"

"You are. But this isn't the most secure line."

"It doesn't matter," Mika told her. "We need to meet, face-to-face. As soon as possible." There was a silence for a moment.

"When and where?" Saki asked simply.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Orihara Shirō did not feel the stir, but Orihara Kyōko did. She looked up when she felt it and thought of the things she'd lost – of the friend who ended her own life, of the parents who had raised her, and of the son who was never really all there to begin with. Orihara Kyōko looked the danger in the eyes and smiled at it.

She was not afraid.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The individual people of Ikebukuro did not notice anything, but the city itself did, because the city was alive, in a way, and it understood things in a way people couldn't. It felt the danger coming for it, and the heart of the city pulsed with a mixture of excitement and fear. _Fortify the walls_ , the city said, _protect your home and it will protect you_.

The citizens of Ikebukuro, without noticing anything at all, began to be more careful, began to look in places they hadn't thought to before, began to see things they otherwise would not have seen. They knew their city, they were its blood and bones and flesh and muscle and the city was the armor that would protect them so long as they pumped oxygen through its veins.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Kida Masaomi did not enjoy speaking with his mother. He did not like her, and he did not want to talk to her. To him, she was everything that had gone wrong with his life, everything that a mother should not be. But she wasn't a liar, wasn't going to pretend she cared when she didn't. His call hadn't made sense to her, he was sure, but it had given him the courage he needed to make his decision.

The Dollars were on the move.

The Blue Squares were on the move.

Those new guys, the Green Lights, were on the move too.

Saika's army was moving.

And now, the Yellow Scarves were going to take back their city.

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

When Heiwajima Shizuo felt… whatever it was, he felt it a bit differently than the others. Despite his physical abnormalities, he was still technically human. Really, he shouldn't have felt anything at all, but all this nonsense with Izaya had made him a tad more aware towards things he didn't usually acknowledge. Glancing at Vorona's tense form, he could tell that she felt it too. Tom very clearly could not feel it, but he still seemed too realize that something wasn't right.

"What's up?" Tom asked. Shizuo and Vorona just shrugged.

"No clue," Shizuo told him.

"There is danger," Vorona said, her eyes darting around the area. "Not an enemy I am familiar with. The thought of a challenge, both exciting and terrifying… but the danger is not immediate."

"That's good, then," Tom decided. He trusted his coworkers' instincts. Even if he didn't know exactly what had been going on recently, he was fully aware that both of them could take care of themselves. "Let me know if you figure out what's wrong."

"Sure thing, Tom-san."

"Affirmative."

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

As Hiro ran, he began to remember. He saw, in his mind's eye, a young boy speaking with his grandmother, who was teaching him her first language, Russian, and the most well known language, English. But something told him that he was not that boy, and that that was not _his_ grandmother. Realizing this brought back other memories – of a girl with pink hair on a flower, of a monster made of blood, of a small, seemingly unimportant watermelon.

Valdred Ivanhoe returned to the form of young, green-haired boy. He didn't know why he was in Japan (or how he had gotten there), but he did know that he needed to go home. The pull of was strong, however, and Val had a feeling there was something he needed to do before he left. He knew that he should know what it was, but he couldn't for the life of him remember.

_Fairies_ , Val thought. _Something about fairies_ …

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

The old man and his wife both felt the stir. They weren't even in Japan, but they were close enough to feel it.

"Charon and Claudia are going to be in Ikebukuro, right?" the old man asked. The woman next to him nodded silently, and the old man grinned. "That works out, then. I think our stowaway is headed there too." There was a small gasp from one of the crates aboard the ship, and the old woman reached in and pulled out an odd girl with blonde hair, green eyes, face paint, and a clown-like costume. The Jester grinned nervously at them, and waved. The old woman rolled her eyes, and put the Jester back in the box.

' _What a strange girl_ ' she wrote down on a piece of paper. Her husband nodded.

"We've seen weirder, though," he said absently. From inside the box, the Jester sighed, relieved. It seemed that they would allow her to come with them. Crossing the water sucked already, but at least she wasn't going to have to swim. "You planning on tellin' us your name?" the old man asked. The Jester gulped.

"It's Pirie," she replied. "Pirie Mystwalker." The old man grinned again.

"Well, then, Pirie Mystwalker," he said, "Looks like you're comin' with us. I'm Felix, and this is my wife, Chane." The Jester got the feeling that she should've waited for another ship. Swimming was starting to look like a good idea…

\-----THIS IS A LINE BREAK-----

Saki followed Anri around without a word of complaint, keeping a serene smile on her face the entire time. Anri swallowed nervously.

"Is Mikajima-san enjoying Raira Academy?" she asked. Saki blinked.

"It's nice," she said simply. Anri gave her friend's girlfriend a tight-lipped smile. _I really wish Kida-kun and Ryuugamine-kun were here_ , she thought. And then she stopped dead, Saki bumping into her back. "Is everything okay?" the brunette asked.

"Mikajima-san," Anri began quietly, "have you seen Kida-kun or Ryuugamine-kun recently?" Saki tilted her head to the side.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"When I arrived at school today, Ryuugamine-kun waved at me," she said. "But I haven't seen him in any of my classes except Homeroom." Saki hesitated.

"Do you have him this period?" she questioned.

"Yes," Anri replied. She felt bad about the lie, but…

"Then maybe you just missed him," Saki said cheerfully. When they reached their next class, Mikado was already there. He turned and waved. Anri felt her throat tighten.

"Mikajima-san?" she asked. Saki turned to look at her. "I'm sorry." And then, she drew Saika and sliced the other girl in half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I know this chapter's relatively short, but… I'm just glad I got it out at all, really. To everyone who reviewed: thank you so much. It's thanks to you guys that I managed to write this chapter. Well, you guys and the new episodes. Anyway, as I'm sure you've noticed, this fic hasn't been updating very quickly. I'm really sorry about that. I'm balancing this story, Acnologia is Not Your Father, Witch's Sin, this writing prompt thing I'm doing on Tumblr (feel free to go check that out, if you like, but it's only for Fairy Tail), and a bunch of other shit. I also have serious motivation issues, so your reviews are hugely helpful. Thanks again, guys. :)
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to tell you: for any Fairy Tail fans out there, I've got this writing challenge prompt thing I'm doing on Tumblr (that I mentioned a sentence or two ago), and you can totally send me something if you like; I use the same name there that I do here. The prompt's a bit specific, but it shouldn't be too hard to find.
> 
> Thanks yet again for sticking with me, and I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like the characters from the rest of the Naritaverse – I tried to avoid bringing them in, but they sort of forced themselves into the story. Sorry.
> 
> On another note, Val's connection to Izaya will be revealed soon-ish, but first… how many of you are surprised by that? I did my absolute best to convince you that they were the same person (I may or may not have outright lied a couple times~). I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do with Hiro at first, but I never intended for him to be the same person as Izaya. By the way, I lie sometimes. Whoops. Aren't unreliable narrators fun? Mwahahahahaha.
> 
> In all seriousness, though, thank you guys so much for everything.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Wow, I actually got around to writing this. I've been working on this for over a month now, and I never thought I'd actually finish. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. For those of you who don't know, Sharaku Mikage went to Raijin Academy with Izaya, Shizuo, Kadota, and Shinra. She was apparently one of Izaya's groupies, and it's implied she had feelings for him (whether she still does is unknown). Her older brother claims Izaya is the reason Mikage dropped out of high school, and, while she has neither confirmed nor denied this, she seems to hold no grudge against him. Other characters from the novels (such as Aoba, Nakura, Akabayashi, Tsukumoya, etc.) will also be appearing, and certain plot points and canon pairings will also show up, like Kasuka x Ruri. If that's not cool with you, then this probably isn't your story. I'm more interested in plot than romance or smut.
> 
> On another note, before anyone even opens their mouths, the only pairing that was requested by Naturesshadows was Shinra x Celty. There will also be either Shizuo x Izaya or Izaya x Namie. Other relationships are mine to decide. Before anyone asks, no, Kida will not randomly decide he's gay and dump Saki. He loves her, not Mikado. Mikado is not going to abandon his feelings for Anri, and Anri is not going to randomly decide she's a lesbian. Finally, regardless of whom Izaya ends up with, everyone is staying in character. Izaya and Shizuo are not going to get lovey-dovey; they'll have a love-hate relationship. Izaya and Namie are not going to get lovey-dovey; they'll be throwing insults at each other from across the office. Also, Izaya has admitted to being a masochist. He is a pathological liar, so this might be false, but it would explain a lot. I will not be changing this regardless of anything.


End file.
